


Two Feet From a Fateful Decision

by FrightenedofRabbits



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Upside Down, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Blow Jobs, Bottom Billy Hargrove, Boys In Love, Car Sex, Come Eating, Deepthroating, Depression, Eventual Smut, First Time, Gay Billy Hargrove, Good Parent Jim "Chief" Hopper, Harringrove, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jane is adopted not an experiment, M/M, Neil Hargrove's A+ Parenting, Period-Typical Homophobia, Rating May Change, Redemption, Rimming, Sex in a Car, Sex without a Condom, Slow Burn, Spit As Lube, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Top Steve Harrington, safe unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:53:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 77,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23894887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrightenedofRabbits/pseuds/FrightenedofRabbits
Summary: Billy Hargrove was going to kill himself. As soon as he finished his last cigarette he was going to throw himself off the edge of the quarry into the abyss below. But, he doesn't get the chance. A certain chief of police interrupts him and ends up saving his life. This begins a journey of forgiveness, self improvement, and self acceptance for Billy. Along the way he learns to love himself and maybe even finds love with a certain dorky yet beautiful haired boy.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 135
Kudos: 612





	1. Harsh

**Author's Note:**

> CW: Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Ideation, Suicide Attempt, Use of a gay slur (In reference to one's self)
> 
> Be safe and take care.

He tapped the cigarette in his hand and watched as the specks from it fell slowly to the ground, creeping lower and lower until they disappeared from view, too small for his eye to perceive them. They hit the ground without him seeing, invisible to his eye. But they certainly hit the ground, gravity pulling them. His hand shook slightly as he brought the cigarette to his lips to take another puff. He breathed in the thick, nicotine rich air and exhaled. In his exhalation, his vision became clouded with smoke, it obscured the world around him, created his own world, if only for just a moment. In the momentary haze of the smoke, he closed his eyes and let himself embrace a fleeting moment of tranquility. But the smoke cleared and so did the calmness. 

He looked out at the world around him, now clear. It was harsh. The world was harsh. From the cold that nipped at his neck to the sting that lingered in his midsection where the most recent blows had landed. The thick clouds in the sky were oppressing, bringing with them the threat of snow. More cold. More harshness. The roughness of his denim jacket did little to protect him from the elements, in fact the popped collar rubbed harshly against the skin of his neck. He glared up at the clouds, he glared out at the placid water before him. But the clouds and the water didn’t react to his glare and it was probably for good reason. His expression held no real malice. Instead, his expression was defeated, tired, and so exhausted. Seventeen years shouldn’t feel this hard. But for Billy Hargrove, they were.  
It was the exhaustion that led Billy to this place, to where he sat. On the hood of his car by the quarry, staring off into the abyss and strongly considering throwing himself into it. In the abyss he could rest, he could let go, he could lay down all the pretenses that sat so heavy upon his shoulders. All the guilt, all the shame, all the lies, all the hurt, all the pain, all the anger would be gone. Nothing to worry about, no one to let down. It was an incredibly alluring thought. The only interjection in his mind about why he shouldn’t kill himself was thinking about the church. 

And sure, he was only dragged to mass once a year on Christmas. It was definitely out of a sense of duty rather than conviction that his family attend midnight mass once a year. But his mom had liked church. She liked the music and the architecture, and the ceremony of it all. She probably believed in God, but mostly she believed in good. She was good. Her son was not. He wanted to be good for her and in honor of her. But she was dead and her son was not good. Things were not right in the world and there was probably no God anyways. But still, when Billy thought of sin, he thought of his mom and of disappointing her. But he knew he had probably already disappointed her in many ways. What was one more? 

Billy didn’t remember choosing to be a faggot, didn’t know how or why he just was. He didn’t know why he got so angry, why he kept taking out that anger on people who really didn’t deserve it. He didn’t know why his father hated him, why nothing he did was ever good enough even though he tried. He tried really hard. Liking boys, having an anger management problem, and a dad who liked to kick him in the ribs when he stepped out of line made life harsh. It made it difficult every single day to get out of bed and keep on living. Maybe it was a small mercy he’d made it this far? Maybe seventeen years was all that he would get and that was enough. So many people, people better than Billy, got far fewer years. Billy only had to think of his mother and the image of her in the hospital bed to know this. Maybe throwing himself off this ledge would be a mercy to someone else. More resources left in the world for people better than him. After all, his dad did frequently call him a waste of space and it was probably true.  
Billy took a final pull from his cigarette, it was burnt down to the filter. Done. He exhaled his final breath of smoke and dropped his cigarette on the ground, watching it fall. He stomped on it, ground the toe of his boot into it, to make sure it was out. He was pretty sure he was gonna do it. He was gonna kill himself. He had some regrets, maybe more than he could even allow himself to think about. He regretted every person he’d punched, every mean word he’d said to someone who didn’t deserve it and even some of the one’s people had deserved. He regretted not being able to tell his mom goodbye one last time before they’d had to pull the plug, the cancer too far advanced for any treatment to work. 

He regretted not ever finding love, even though the thought of loving another man made him shrink away in shame. Even though he didn’t want to admit it, and almost physically couldn’t, there was one boy he thought of a lot. He was thinking of that boy now and was suddenly overwhelmed by sadness that he’d never get the chance to apologize to this boy. Because he did, he wanted to apologize to Steve Harrington for punching his face in and beating him over the head with a plate. That had not been his finest moment. But the boy was too beautiful for his own good and Billy was too angry and broken for his own good. 

Billy pushed himself up off the hood of his car. He took a step forward, his heavy steel-toed boots feeling heavier than usual as he took that step. He was only about two feet from the edge. Two feet from a fateful decision. He reached up and wiped away a tear, feeling a moment of shock because he hadn’t registered the fact that he was crying. Silent sobs wracked his body. His hands were shaking and he wished he had another cigarette. If he had just one more cigarette he’d take the time to smoke it, to think this over. And who knows? Maybe that time would be enough for him to change his mind. But there wasn’t another cigarette. The pack of Marlboro Reds lay empty on his passenger seat. There was no more time. There was just this moment. This final moment before nothing. And although Billy shook, he was starting to feel a little better. He was about to do it. He swore to God he was about to take that step forward into the dark and silent night. 

But the silence was punctuated. Like a bullet through the silence, a sharp sound felt like shrapnel to his ears. Police sirens. Followed by police lights. Billy stared dumbly at the approaching lights through the tears in his eyes. He swore out loud to himself. He wasn’t going to die tonight. This was just one more thing he’d failed at.


	2. Simple Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hopper to the rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Hopper's POV.
> 
> CW: Suicidal Ideation, Suicidal Thoughts
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Jim Hopper was a pretty simple man. He liked to end his long days with a beer and a cigarette. He liked to spend his weekends relaxing, either fishing or tinkering with some project around the house. More often than not, nowadays he spent his weekends carting his teenage daughter around to her friends. And even though he complained about it, he secretly (or not so secretly) loved it. He loved his daughter more than anything, adopting Jane had been the best decision he’d ever made. She’d really saved him from a life of drinking in solitude. 

As the Chief of Police, he worked long hours, but being in charge meant he could be flexible with his schedule which he found useful as a parent. Life in a small town wasn’t too wild and he usually didn’t have to deal with much more than speeding tickets or the occasional drunk and disorderly conduct. Going into law enforcement hadn’t been his first choice, but it was kind of an obvious choice after coming back from Vietnam. The academy had done a lot of outreach to returning soldiers and the pay was good. His life wasn’t overly exciting, but it was good. His daughter was happy and healthy, and he couldn’t ask for much more than that. 

He was currently carting around nearly half a dozen kids, taking them all to the arcade to play those stupid games they all liked. His daughter’s friends were all good kids, if a little nerdy. But they kept out of trouble so he wasn’t complaining about that. He had to work later that night but he had arranged with one of the local high school students to pick the kids up after, take them all home, and look after Jane until his shift was done at midnight. It would probably be a quiet night after all most of them were. He’d probably head home early. 

He dropped the kids off and made sure they had enough money to keep them entertained for the afternoon then sped off to the station. It was a quiet day, he sat in his office catching up on paperwork, which was always abundant and always the worst part of the job. He fielded a few phone calls that his receptionist sent to him. It was all pretty mundane, but in this line of work that was usually for the best. He had to deal with what was the third call from Mrs. Goodman, asking him to make sure there were no kids partying down at the quarry. She lived about a mile down the road from the quarry and was angry about kids partying there because apparently they set off fireworks and had scared her cat. He sighed and assured her that he would personally patrol the area tonight and make sure no kids scared her cat. 

He hung up the phone and chuckled to himself. You had to find amusement where you could in this job. He figured he’d just drive by the quarry on his way home. It was far too cold for kids to be out partying anyway. But it was important to keep up appearances. Hell, he would even drive by and blare his sirens to assure Mrs. Goodman that he was there and doing his job. They’d probably scare her cat but at least she’d know he was keeping his word and hopefully stop calling the station about her frightened feline. The day bled into the evening and he waved goodbye to his receptionist at six when she headed home. He would finish up another hour or so of paperwork and then hop in his car to do town patrol for the rest of the evening. Not many people would be out on a Sunday night but it was all part of the job. 

Hopped jumped in his cruiser a little after eight and drove through town before heading west on the back roads that would intersect with the county road and take him towards the quarry. He drove slowly, taking his time. He smoked a few cigarettes and polished off a can of pepsi. The night was cool, with a light wind, but with his radio blasting and the heat on low it wasn’t the worst way to pass an evening. Sure he’d rather be at home, but Jane was fine with Harrington watching her. Sure the Harrington kid had been in some trouble in the past but he was a good kid, he really looked after all the middle school brats. Any hesitancy he’d had about hiring a male babysitter went out the window because Jane loved him and he couldn’t say no to her. 

He had less than an hour left and so he started making his way along the long dirt road to the quarry. Once he turned onto the drive that led to the edge of the quarry he flipped on the sirens and chuckled to himself as he crept along. He just kept thinking about that cat. His smile faltered when he breached the clearing of trees and saw a car almost at the edge. Damn teenagers out here at night. Probably smoking pot or drinking, which wasn’t the worst but it would be a hassle for him to deal with. Calls to parents and more paperwork. He sped up the car and saw a figure standing near the edge, too close for his liking. He stopped the car a few feet behind the blue camaro parked there. He knew who owned this car. He sighed. Hargrove. He stepped out of his car and yelled over to him. “Hey Hargrove, away from the edge! You got a deathwish or what?”

He stood by the car waiting for Billy to react. The kid just stood there, as though he hadn’t heard him. Kids these days. He took a few steps forward. “Hargrove, the hell you up to?”

More silence. He took a few more steps forward and reached for the flashlight on his waist. He held it up to the kid standing before him. In the light of the flashlight, the kid finally turned around. Hopper had to squint to clearly make him out, but his eyes adjusted quickly and he was immediately taken aback. The kid was crying. This was unexpected. Hargrove had a reputation around town and it wasn’t too kind. He had punched multiple people, been picked up for drinking underage, and maybe most noteworthy of all had just about killed Steve Harrington for seemingly no reason. He was still mad that Steve hadn’t pressed charges but he couldn’t force it.

Hopper jumped into action,”What’s going on Hargrove? You in some sort of trouble?” That’s what his mind jumped to. Probably some dispute with his parents. He was probably grounded or something and came out here to get away. It wasn’t the best reasoning for why a notorious asshole like Hargrove would be crying in the dark of night but it’s just what came to mind first. The kid didn’t answer, just looked away from him. Hop heard him say something but couldn’t make it out. “Come on kid you gotta speak up. I can’t help you if I can’t hear you.” 

He watched as the kid just shook his head. Hopper had had enough. “Come on kid, it’s too late to be playing around out here. You’re gonna kill yourself that close to the edge. Get back here and let me take you home so we can all go to bed.”

“I was going to kill myself.”

Hopper froze where he stood. He didn’t know what to say for a moment. Hargrove spoke again before he could. “Was just about to. Still could if you’d just leave me alone. I don’t want anyone around for this.”

“Fuck Hargrove, this is no time to be joking around. Get the fuck back here.”

Billy stood there for a moment and then shrugged and started taking a step backwards. Hopper seized the opportunity to lunge forward and grab the kid by the shoulder, yanking him back. Hargrove stumbled backwards, and Hopper realized he might have yanked a little hard but the kid had him freaked out. He didn’t know if this was a joke or not. But the tears seemed real. Fuck. He stood there with his hand on Hargrove’s shoulder for a moment, trying to figure out what to do. Fuck, he was just a kid. Billy spoke, his words quiet and almost resigned. “I can’t do this anymore.” 

Hopper steeled himself and forced the kid to turn around and face him. “Ok, look. I’ll help you out. Whatever is going on, we’ll figure it out. You’re not going to kill yourself, it’s not the answer to your problems.”

“It probably is,” Billy spoke, his deep voice almost cracking. 

“Kid, I can tell you, no it’s not.”


	3. Steady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy is sad and Hopper is a good dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel obliged to say, don't smoke kids. It's bad for you.
> 
> CW: Suicidal Thoughts, Use of a gay slur (in reference to one's self).
> 
> Billy's POV
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Billy’s best memories from childhood were the times he spent on the beach with just his mom. The warm sea breeze and the sound of the waves felt like heaven. His mother with her golden skin and long, blonde curls always looked the most beautiful and carefree when she was on the beach. She would dig in the sand searching for sea shells with him, spend hours working on magnificent sand castles, and wrap him up at the end of the day in a big fluffy towel. It was as close to heaven as Billy had ever experienced. Those memories stayed with him, and reminded him that there was good in the world. But those memories were distant and those waves far away. 

The cornfields that surrounded him now were hideous. There was seldom a warm breeze in this place and the air often smelled of manure. Literal cow shit. It was as far away from the salty sea air as one could get. The move to Indiana had been a tough adjustment for Billy, it felt like a punishment. In some ways it probably was. Everything about this place was Hell, from the scenery to the people. There was nothing redeeming about this place in Billy’s eyes. 

Steve Harrington was the one good thing but he was also a bad thing. It was complicated. The matter of his attraction to boys was a very complicated thing. He hated it, hated being gay. He tried to find girls attractive and tried to not stare at boys. But sexuality isn’t a choice, this Billy knew because he lived it. He was immediately smitten by Steve Harrington, the ex-popular kid who had fallen down the hierarchy but didn’t seem to care. He was just nice to people, didn’t seem to care what group or clique people belonged to, he’d talk to anyone. 

Steve made Billy panic. His attractiveness and kindness and overall existence made Billy panic and made him lash out. Billy made it his mission from the first day he met Harrington to poke at him, to try and set him off, make him lash out, to crack that seemingly perfect exterior. It was an almost compulsive behavior for Billy. To taunt him on the basketball court, belittle him in the locker room, call him names, and just generally piss him off in any way possible. Because doing everything in one’s power to anger and alienate someone was a sure fire way to make them suddenly fall in love with you. Sure. Yep. Sound reasoning. 

Billy knew he was fucked up. 

It had been a long journey of pain and self destruction that led him to this ledge. His shameful secret, the sadness left from the loss of his mother, his father hitting him for not being good enough. It all piled on him. Every bad experience, from his father hitting him at age eight for playing with his cousin’s Barbie, to bashing in the face of the boy he wanted to kiss. Everything in between all of that had weighed him down and the drinking wasn’t helping much anymore. The heaviness and harshness of his world came crashing down around him and he wanted out. He wanted a different life. But, if he couldn’t have a different set of circumstances then he would take nothing. Death would be better than this. 

That’s what he had thought as he drove up to the quarry late on a Sunday night. An empty bottle of Jack rolled around his back seat and when he stopped his car near the edge he took the last cigarette from the pack. It was almost poetic to him at that moment. The serendipity of having just enough cigarettes for his entire life. He stepped outside to smoke it because even though it was cold he wanted the fresh air. 

And then he didn’t die.

He didn’t get the chance to step off the side of the quarry because none other than the chief of fucking police came to bust him. At that moment he wanted to just disappear. He didn’t want to see anyone and he didn’t want anyone to see him like this. Crying. Weak. Vulnerable. But there wasn’t much of a choice to be had in that moment. There was only one direction forward and that was to face Chief Hopper. Billy didn’t have it in him to not tell the truth in that moment. To not be honest about what he was about to do. His mom always valued honesty. Not because it was a sin to lie but because it was simply better to be upfront with people. Billy hadn’t been upfront with people in a really long time.  
“I was going to kill myself.” He admitted quietly. It felt weird to say. He also used the past tense without thought. The thoughts were his past. There was a tense moment of silence that hung thick in the air between them. Billy spoke again before the chief could. “Was just about to. Still could if you’d just leave me alone. I don’t want anyone around for this.”

A raised voice quickly responded to him.“Fuck Hargrove, this is no time to be joking around. Get the fuck back here.” Billy startled for a moment. The volume of his voice made him flinch, it sounded too much like Neil. Billy settled and shrugged to himself. He felt resigned at that moment. Whatever was going to happen would. He didn’t look backwards but started to take a tentative step away from the ledge, away from his own death. He had barely taken a step when a hand reached out and grabbed him roughly by the shoulder, pulling him back and causing him to almost stumble backwards and fall. That same hand steadied him before he fell on his ass. There was a moment of silence. Billy spoke.

“I can’t do this anymore.” 

He waited another moment, waited for the Chief to say something. Finally he did. “Ok, look. I’ll help you out. Whatever is going on, we’ll figure it out. You’re not going to kill yourself, it’s not the answer to your problems.”

“It probably is,” Billy spoke, trying to keep his voice uncaring and nonchalant even though he knew he was probably failing miserably at that. 

“Kid, I can tell you, no it’s not.”

Anger rose up inside Billy, swift and unyielding. This man had no authority to tell him that he should be happy to be alive. He had no fucking right to come and interrupt him in this moment when he was about to be free from all of this bullshit. Billy glared at the man in front of him and spoke with a more steady voice, “You don’t know fucking shit about my life old man. You have no fucking idea. If you knew you’d push me off that cliff yourself. You’d want to do the world a favor.”

Hopper still kept a hold on Billy, but watched with raised eyebrows as the kids began to yell at him. “Hargrove, there’s really nothing in this world that you could do that would make me want to push you off that damn cliff. I want to help you, you’re clearly going through something. Let’s calm down and talk this out.”

Billy smiled, feeling self assured and a sick sense of sadistic pleasure. He really felt in that moment that he could say something that would make the chief of police leave him alone, leave him to finish his business. “What if I told you that I’m a fag.” He said the words and immediately felt a surge of panic course through him. He’d never told that to someone. He tried not to falter even as he felt his heart pick up in speed. 

“That’s not something to die over,” Hopper replied quickly and without much concern. Billy had enough of this conversation. He shook himself loose from Hopper’s grip and pushed the man in front of him, unconcerned with the possible ramifications of assaulting an officer. Hopper stumbled backwards slightly, but steadied himself quickly. 

“Hargrove, this is not the time to start shit with me. I don’t care about any of that stuff, you just need to calm down and let me help you out tonight.” 

Billy felt himself slipping away, sinking into that place of anger that was so hard for him to rise up out of. All of his sadness clung heavy onto his heart and externally, it came out as anger. Pure and unadulterated. He stood there breathing heavily, battling internally with whether to step forward and punch this man or just let Hop help him. It’s seemed like a simple choice but for Billy it wasn’t that clear. His judgement was clouded. 

Billy watched as Hopper slowly started approaching him, with his hand out--cautious. Like Billy were a wild animal that one was trying to keep calm, to keep from mauling you to death. Sometimes Billy felt like a wild animal. He clenched his fists at his side, there was little holding him back from launching himself towards the man in front of him and making a horrible decision. He began raising his fist up, thinking he could launch himself forward in just a moment when Hopper was close enough to him. 

But there was something in the way Hopper was moving towards him. Hopper’s cautious approach sobered him for a moment. It made him think clearly for just a moment. Enough time to think through that it was definitely not a good idea to punch a police officer in the face. Billy didn’t want to go to jail. Also, he let himself acknowledge that this wasn’t just bad because he could get in trouble but that he shouldn’t be hitting people. At all. Punching Hopper wouldn’t accomplish anything for Billy, it wouldn’t actually make him feel better. If anything it would just bring more pain and hardship. This was a recurring cycle throughout his life. He could stop it at this moment. 

He looked forward and stared directly into Hopper’s eyes. Something inside of him broke and he dropped his raised fist. He kind of crumpled in on himself. He almost felt worse than when he was about to fling himself off the side of the quarry. He clenched his fists tightly at his side, digging his fingernails into the palms of his hands in an effort to not cry. Because he felt like crying, he felt like breaking down. Like this whole night was just too much. Someone seeing him go through all of this was just too much. 

Hopper nodded but didn’t say anything. He just slowly brought his arm up and wrapped it around his shoulder. It was meant to be comforting. And it was even though the gesture was something quite foreign to Billy. 

Finally after what seemed to be a few minutes Hopper spoke. “Look Hargrove, I understand that there’s some fucked up shit going on in your life. I get that. I will do what is in my power to help you. Will you come with me right now, back to the station? I’ll send a couple officers to get your car later.”

Billy shook his head, fear striking through him at a single thought. The thought of his dad being called. “No, no you can’t call my dad. You can’t tell him about this.”

Hopper just nodded and shot him a knowing look. Billy hated that look but was also grateful that he understood. “I won’t call your dad Billy, he doesn’t have to know about this. Just come with me.”

Billy nodded. He let himself be led to the passenger door of the cruiser and got inside. He watched as Hopper made his way around to the driver’s side. Hopper got in the car and started the ignition. He reached into his front shirt pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. Billy’s finger twitched. He needed a cigarette. “Can I bum a smoke?”

Hopper didn’t even hesitate like most adults would when a minor asked them for a cigarette. Hopper held out the whole pack to him. “Sure kid, take the whole pack. I got another one in the glove box.”

Billy took the pack and lit up his smoke, then put the half full pack in the chest pocket of his denim jacket with his zippo lighter. The two drove back to the station in silence, each with a cigarette between their lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honorable mentions to my favorite Vermont-based Armenian-American, for all the editing help. Also for coming up with good plot points after I've already written the first draft that make me have to go back and do a bunch of extra work late at night. If you had an A03 account I'd tag you. But you don't so here you go.


	4. What Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hopper and Billy have a chat and work out a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopper's POV
> 
> CW: Use of Gay Slurs (in reference to one's self). 
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Vietnam was a huge culture shock. To a nineteen year old kid from middle America, Vietnam felt about as far away from home as Mars. Hopper had thought he knew what the oppressive heat of summer felt like, the kinda heat that preceded a nasty thunderstorm. But Vietnam was a whole different kind of hot. It was triple digit heat with humidity that made it hard to breathe. Between sweat and humidity it was hard to ever feel dry, months of that was mentally taxing. 

The whole issue of being at war really tampered any excitement Hopper felt about leaving the country, about leaving his smalltown for really the first time in his life. A high school class trip to Chicago probably didn’t really count. Of course it’s not like the military was his choice, the draft was a random lottery and Hopper was one of the lucky winners. A free trip to Vietnam! All expenses paid! That is what the Army was offering up in the summer of 1966. 

The horror of war left its mark. Hop could barely count on both hands, the number of men he’d served with that were no longer here. They survived the war but they couldn’t survive the effects of the war. Drinking, drugs, and suicide took too many of them. Some drank themselves to death, some took drugs until they overdosed, and some just cut straight to the chase and put a gun in their mouth. Hopper was no stranger to the desire to drown out all the bad memories in a case of beer, and in the past he could admit his drinking was out of control. 

Adopting Jane had probably saved him from a similar fate. People frequently told him how good it was of him to have saved her from a life in foster care, but really she had saved him. Saved him from loneliness and a probable future of alcoholism. She gave him a perfect reason to keep going. But seeing so many people go that way, made it a personal issue for Hopper. He knew that for someone to get to that point they had to have gone through some horrible things. For someone as young as Hargrove it was tough to imagine. But he was starting to get an idea. 

He didn’t really know what to say as he drove Hargrove back to the station. The kid was quiet, he seemed content enough from where he sat in the passenger seat smoking his cigarette. Hopper thought about what he said, he thought about some of the things he knew about the kid. Some things were falling into place, things he hadn’t considered before. The way Hargrove acted when he thought he might call his dad. There was clearly something there. The look on his face hadn’t been the normal look of a kid worried about getting in trouble at home. Hopper knew that face well, and Billy’s was not normal. 

The gay thing was...unexpected. Hopper didn’t know exactly what to make of it. Was it true? Was Hargrove just trying to get a rise out of him? It didn’t make him uncomfortable necessarily, but it was definitely not something that most people thought was alright. The AIDS epidemic was all over the news. The religious nutcrackers called it ‘God’s punishment for fags’ but Hopper wasn’t too keen on religion anyways. It was definitely weird but he figured it probably wasn’t something he should be too worked up about. It’s probably just the way some people are. 

They arrived back at the station and Hopper asked Billy to come inside. They both flicked their last cigarette onto the ground in the parking lot before heading inside. Hopper nodded to Calahan who sat at his desk, his turn for night duty. Calahan returned the nod and clearly had questions about seeing the Hargrove kid here so late at night. But he knew not to ask. The two walked to his office and Hopper shut the door before walking over to his desk. This surprisingly or not so surprisingly wasn’t Hargrove’s first time in this office. He knew exactly where to sit and took his seat across the desk from him with ease. He sat back in the chair, trying too hard to look nonchalant. Hopper saw right through him. 

“So what now?” Billy asked. 

“I’m going to help you,” Hopper said even though it was dawning on him that he really didn’t know exactly what to do in this situation. 

“Oh so you wanna help the fag? That’s so sweet of you.”

Hopper sighed loudly. “Kid, I get it. I get the sarcasm as a defense mechanism thing. But you gotta drop it. You almost killed yourself tonight. That is serious. What made you want to do that? What can I do to help you so you don’t ever try and do that again.”

Billy looked like he was going to get angry again for a moment. Hopper recognized the fire coming up in his eyes. But it died down just as soon as it came. Hopper really looked at the boy, finally able to see him in better lighting. His eyes were red and bloodshot, tears streaked down his cheeks, his hair was all over the place, messy from the wind. He only wore a thin denim jacket despite the cold. He looked tired, and worn out. Hopper usually saw him strutting around town, pants too tight and confidence too high. Hopper had a feeling this version of Billy he was seeing right now was closer to the real boy who lived behind that cocky facade. 

“I don’t fucking now. You think if I fucking knew how to fix my shithole of a life that I wouldn’t do it. You try being a dirty fucking cocksucker whose dad likes to smack him around for no fucking reason.” Billy’s voice rose as he spoke but then when he realized what he was saying he got quiet real quickly. “I don’t...I’m not trying to get my dad in trouble.” Billy clarified. “I mean I am a lot to deal with. I know I’m difficult. I have it coming to me half the time.”

Hopper’s mind raced. This was a lot to unpack. It confirmed what he suspected about Neil Hargrove but it was still a lot to consider. Abusive parents were a complex issue to deal with. Even though a parent might be abusive, kids often still love their parents and want to protect them. This matter had to be handled delicately.

“Do you want to press charges against your father?” Hopper asked, wanting to make sure he did what Billy wanted. He watched as Billy vigorously shook his head no. But another thought popped into his head. “Does Neil ever hit Max, or your mom.”

“She’s my stepmom and no he’s never touched them. Just me,” he added, his voice almost a whisper. 

“There’s not too much I can do, legally, about your dad if you don’t press charges. But I can offer my support.” Hopper paused to shuffle papers around his desk and look for a notepad. He tore out a page and wrote down some information. He held it out to Billy.

“This is my home phone number, and my personal office phone here. I also wrote down my home address. You can come out there anytime you want. If you ever need to get away or need a safe place to come and just hang out. I can put you to work, I’m getting too old to be chopping up all my firewood anyway. If you wanna come out and help me out around the place sometime I’ll pay you for your work. I think you need to work on controlling some of that anger. I get that it’s part of being young. I was a young guy once, I understand some of how you feel. But you need to stop taking it out on people. What you did to Harrington is inexcusable no matter what you were going through. How does this all sound to you?”

“I think that sounds okay. I’ll try. I don’t…” Billy's voice grew thick for a moment. “I don’t want to be like Neil. I want to do better.”

Hopper nodded, feeling encouraged by the words Billy spoke. “I’m happy to hear that kid. I’m gonna help you figure some of this shit out. You’re gonna be alright, you’re not alone in this anymore.” Hopper didn’t comment on the tears that silently gathered in Billy’s eyes. He could tell the boy was embarrassed. He knew this kind of stuff was hard. 

“I gotta take you home kid. Your dad a heavy sleeper? I can drop you off down the street.”

“Yeah that’ll be fine. What about my car?”

“I’ll take Callahan and we’ll go get it, it’ll be back in your driveway by morning. Your dad doesn’t have to know a thing.”

************  
It wasn’t until much later, after both Billy and his car were safely deposited at home that Hopper realized it was nearly 3 am and Harrington was still at his house with Jane. He groaned. He was gonna owe that kid big time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	5. Speed Limits Are Just Suggestions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy's P.O.V.
> 
> Be safe and take care.

When Billy was little he had really wanted a younger sibling, begging his mom for a little brother or sister incessantly. He didn’t care if it was a boy or a girl, he just wanted someone to play with, to teach news things, and to boss around. Being a big brother seemed fun and being an only child could be boring. Of course Billy never got a sibling, it wasn’t long after five year old Billy begged for a sibling that his mom began to get sick. By the time he was eight his mom had passed and it was just Billy and his father. 

Susan and Max didn’t come around until Billy was almost fifteen. By that age Billy had no use for a sibling. He was already bitter and angry. The grief he felt about losing his mom was still heavy within him and Susan was no replacement. The fact that his dad’s new girlfriend brought with her this annoying redhead was just further punishment. It felt ironic considering how badly he’d wanted a sibling when he was young to finally be getting one after all these years. 

Max was an annoying ten year old when they first met. She was a busy body, always trying to get involved in his business. She was loud and bossy and rude. Worst of all though, was his dad. His dad seemed so happy to have a step-daughter. He bought her special presents and let her get away with things Billy had never been able to. And the kicker was, she never got hit. He would never hit a girl. And that was good, Billy didn’t want this little kid to get hit. But why was she so much better than him? What made him so inherently bad, that his dad would want to hurt him and no one else?

This resentment just grew over time. Made him come to hate his little sister. She wasn’t even a real sister. She was just a step sister, barely even counted. As soon as he could drive he was forced to cart her around. Take her to the beach, take her to friends houses, drive her to school. He had to watch her on the weekends so his parents could go away on romantic trips. His father said it was good for him to take care of Max, that it would teach him some respect and responsibility. 

Deep down he realized none of this was Max’s fault. He really did. But that just wasn’t enough to stop the hate he had for her. She was just always there, always messing with his plans, and frequently led to him getting in trouble. She was blissfully unaware that when she told on him about being late or swearing at her that it would land him a jab to the ribcage or a push into the wall. She was just a kid. But so was Billy. 

The move to Hawkins, Indiana did nothing to improve their relationship. It probably just made things worse. The stress of the move made Billy angrier. It made Max angry at first but once she settled into a group of friends she was more than happy to be here. Her and her nerd squad were a near constant source of headache for Billy. And somehow, he had no clue how Harrington had become the resident nerd squad babysitter. Which meant Billy had to keep hearing from Max about how cool Harrington was, how nice he was, how he gave them money for the arcade. And of course, this led directly to the night when he nearly killed Harrington. 

The days following his night by the quarry and his run in with Hopper passed by in a sort of haze. Somehow, but thankfully, his car was back in the driveway the next day and his dad was completely unaware. Everyone was just so unaware. Unaware that he almost wasn’t going to be there the next morning. Sitting at the breakfast table eating cereal. Yelling at Max to hurry up and grab her stuff so they wouldn’t be late. So his dad wouldn’t be mad. He felt like he was just going through the motions of his day. He wasn’t really tuned into what was happening around him. The stress of the night before wasn’t really registering yet. 

It didn’t for several days. The paper Hopper had given him was folded up and hidden under his mattress. A place of honor, as it was hidden alongside several porno magazines. He didn’t really entertain looking at that paper or taking any action about it the entire week. It wasn’t until Friday that things began to catch up to him. It had been a rough morning, his father cornering him in the living room, out of ear shot from Max, Susan already having left for work. He hadn’t been hit that day, gratefully, but got a stern talking to about how he needed to step up and be better. 

It left him rattled. Left him feeling wound up the entire rest of the day. Wound up enough that he checked a few people especially hard during basketball practice after school. One of those people being Harrington. It didn’t make him feel much better. Instead, it left him feeling guilt. He felt bad that he was taking all of these mixed up emotions inside of him out on other people. But he felt like he was going to explode. He wanted to yell at someone. He wanted to hurt someone. But he was trying. He honestly was. But he didn’t know how well this was going to go. He left practice in a hurry, hopped in his car and lit up a smoke. 

He drove fast, racing down the back streets of Hawkins driving aimlessly. He drove with the windows rolled down, despite the cold. The speed of the car and the wind whipping around him felt liberating. It felt relaxing. It was approaching dusk by the time he slowed down and allowed himself to really take in his surroundings. He was all the way across town. Not too far from the address that Hopper had given him. The address he had easily memorized. He thought about going. Thought about driving up to his house. He hadn’t talked to the man since Sunday night, since that night. He had promised he’d reach out, that he’d ask for help when he needed it. 

Without giving it too much thought because that might make him chicken out, he headed in the direction of the address. He drove much more slowly this time, almost going the speed limit. Hopper’s house was down a long dirt driveway, tucked away behind a thick forest of trees. It wasn’t that easy to find, but the mailbox had been clearly marked with the correct house number. Finally he broke through the trees and saw the house, if it could really be called a house. It was more like a small cabin, with a small porch on the front of the house. Hopper’s cruiser sat in front of the garage which was to the left of the house, another car was parked in the garage. 

Billy parked beside the cruiser. He hesitated in the car, he didn’t know what to do in this situation. Obviously it would make sense to go and knock on the door but suddenly he felt really uncomfortable and he didn’t know why he was here. He was about to start up his car again, feeling stupid for even coming here at all. But he didn’t get the chance because the next time he looked up Hop was standing on the porch and waving for him to come over. Billy sighed and got out of his car, making his way across the driveway to the house. 

“Hargrove! Good to see you in the daylight.” Hopper said to him as he walked up the front steps. 

“It’s barely daylight,” Billy replied snarkily. 

“It’s good enough,” Hopper said. “Come on inside. Jane and I were just about to sit down for dinner. You know Jane right? She’s friends with your sister Max.”

“Step-sister. Yeah I know her. I’ve driven her around before.”

“Going the speed limit, I hope,” Hopper said while giving Billy a knowing look. 

Billy smiled slyly, thinking of the two strikes he had on his license from all the speeding tickets he’d gotten. Speeding tickets Hopper knew about. “Always, sir.”

“I’d have to be a fool to believe that,” Hopper replied. But his tone was light and he had a soft smile on his face. They walked into the cramped but cozy kitchen which had a small round table tucked in the corner. Jane was just setting out the silverware when they walked in. “You want to stay for dinner, I made a pork roast?”

Billy automatically shook his head no. “I don’t want to be a bother.”

“It’s no bother at all. Jane set out an extra plate, will you please?”

That’s how Billy came to eat dinner with Chief Hopper and his daughter Jane. What could have easily been an awkward dinner wasn’t actually that bad. Jane told them about her day at school, chattering easily about her friends and an upcoming test she needed to study for. Hopper listened to her carefully and asked a lot of questions. He even asked Billy about his day, which threw Billy off for a second but he easily transitioned into detailing his day. His test on The Grapes of Wrath in English and the upcoming basketball game. It was easy and simple. There was no stress of being under his father’s microscope, no worry that he would do something or say something that he’d come to pay for later. He left about an hour later feeling full and calmer than he had in a long while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Title of this chapter is not true. The speed limit should always be obeyed. Don't be like Billy. I'm not good at naming chapters and this is what happens lol.


	6. Jane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Hopper became a dad and the first time we get to interact with Harrington.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopper's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: References to child abuse/neglect (not in detail)
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Being a small town police officer was usually not that exciting. It was a lot of speeding tickets, dealing with the occasional drunk person, and even more rare were domestic disputes. There hadn’t been a murder in the town in over thirty years and people tended to not even lock their doors. It just wasn’t necessary. It was a pretty quiet place to live in general. But still, as an officer you could be called to the worst case scenario events. Car accidents were the worst thing they usually had to deal with. People who were dead upon arrival or worse yet made it to the hospital only to die later. Those instances were usually the most traumatic thing officers in Hawkins had to deal with. 

But for Hopper there was one case that would forever be seared into his mind. It’s the story of how he came to adopt his daughter. Jane had been eight years old when they finally found her. She was found alone in a car, her parents were dead in the front seat from a drug overdose. She was severely malnourished, had been neglected, and had signs of abuse all over her body. When Hopper arrived on the scene and got her out of the car she didn’t speak. She just clung to him, and even though she was eight, she was so thin that he could easily hold her. 

As other officers dealt with the scene, Hopper held the little girl in his arms and wondered how this could happen. It wasn’t long until two social workers came to get her and take her to the hospital before she would be placed with an emergency foster family. She clung onto Hopper, her eyes wide with fear as the two women tried to get her to come with them. She put up a fight, but lost and was put into a black car and driven away. Hopper felt his heart drop in his chest as he watched her get driven away. He had to shake it off, turn around and get back to work. He couldn’t allow himself to think too much about it or he knew he’d be a mess. 

He checked up on the case a week later, contacting one of the social workers to get an update on the girl. She had no next of kin, she still wasn’t speaking, she’d be placed in the foster system. It wasn’t until another week passed that he even began to consider the possibility. That he could try to adopt her. He had a spare room at his house. He didn’t know much about kids but it couldn’t be that hard. A lot of idiots had children. He contacted the social worker and asked her what he needed to do in order to adopt her. Which then culminated in months of paperwork, parenting classes, home visits, and eventually getting his foster license.

After almost six months of work, Jane finally came home. And about a year after that she was officially Jane Hopper. Being a parent was the hardest job he’d ever undertaken, although Jane was an extreme case. It took almost a whole year of therapy before she began to speak, and once she did she was never quiet again. She had a lot of catching up to do in school but once she hit her stride she caught up with the other kids in her grade and made the honors list every semester. Now, at thirteen she was your typical teenager. A little moody sometimes, sassy most of the time, and always hanging with her friends. But when Hopper thought of how far she’d come it made everything worth it. He’d do anything for that girl. 

************

Hopper was off in the side yard chopping firewood when he looked up at the sound of a car engine. He knew the sound of the beemer before he even saw it, knew it was Harrington and his fancy ass car. He watched as Jane climbed out of the backseat and gave Harrington a wave. He was still angry at the kid for refusing the money he’d offered the night he’d helped out Billy. He hadn’t gotten back to the house until after 3am, got home to find Harrington passed out on the living room couch. He let Steve sleep, but the next morning, feeling guilty that he hadn’t been able to go home, he’d try to offer the kid more money. But Steve had just shook his head and refused.

Harrington walked over, pushing his black Ray-Bans up into his hair as he approached. “Hey Hop, what’s going on?” Steve asked, smiling. 

“What’s it look like kid? I’m having a fucking tea party.”

“That sounds like fun.” Harrington replied. 

“Always is,” Hopper responded as he threw down the axe to stick it in the log in front of him. “You still good to pick Jane up after school tomorrow?”

“I’ve got basketball practice after school, but I think all the kids are gonna walk over to the arcade. I can pick her up from there after and bring her home.”

Hopper nodded, agreeing with the plan. “Okay that sounds good.” Hopper paused for a second, wanting to ask about something but unsure of exactly how to bring it up. “How is basketball practice going? Is the team looking good for the season?”

“I think we’re gonna be alright, Hargrove is a maniac but he’s good. I think we have a fighting chance this year.”

Hopper’s ears piqued at the mention of Hargrove. Exactly who he wanted to ask about without being too obvious. “How is Hargrove? He giving you any trouble lately?”

Steve shrugged, his expression more annoyed at the mention of the guy. “Eh, no more than usual. He’s always been an ass, still his usual self.”

“Has he been in school every day this week?”

“...Yeah I mean, I think so. He’s been at every practice but I don’t keep tabs on the guy. Why do you care, he in more trouble.”

Hopper backed off quickly, “No no, I’m just making sure he isn’t screwing with you too much. Trying to make sure he’s as upstanding a citizen as possible.”

Steve let out a sarcastic laugh. “Yeah, that’ll never happen. That guy will never not be an insufferable asshole.”

“Well you don’t have to put up with him that much longer.” Hopper said.

“That’s true. Well Hop, I gotta head out. It’s Sunday night and I haven’t done any of my homework so I should go and try to do that.”

“Get outta here kid. Drive safe and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that, Steve headed out and Hopper got back to chopping wood. Continued to do that for another hour or so as he thought about Hargrove. How it had been exactly one week since that night. He’d seemed good at dinner the other night. Different. When he’d left he’d seemed more relaxed than Hopper had ever seen him. It gave him a feeling of hope. Maybe the kid wouldn’t be an insufferable asshole for the rest of his life. He wanted to be there for Billy. Wanted to see what some different circumstances and some support might do to a kid like him. Someone with a lot of potential. 

He sighed as he headed inside for the night. Thinking he was too tired to cook much of anything for dinner tonight. They’d probably just have breakfast for dinner, not that Jane would mind. She was obsessed with toaster waffles. Had been since she’d first come to live with him. She’d be more than happy to have them for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Admittedly this isn't my best chapter, but I already have the next chapter finished and shit gets better trust me. Things to look forward to: Harrington's booty, badly written basketball references (I don't know sports), and dramatic Billy moments.


	7. It's Been...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy stares at Steve's butt, gets sad, and gets hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: Graphic depictions of physical/emotional child abuse.
> 
> Be Safe and take care.

“Maxine.”

“William.” Billy scowled.

“Fuck off.”

“I need to do my hair.”

“There’s no fixing that rat's nest.”

“You’re one to talk, you take more time on your hair than I do. You’re such a fucking girl.”

“Yeah and you’re such a fucking bitch.”

At that, Max’s face went red and she stormed off. Billy was so gonna pay for that later. Ugh. He didn’t know why he had to do that. It was only 7:30 in the morning. It was too early for this bullshit. And a fucking Monday on top of that. Billy stormed out of the bathroom. 

“Okay Maxine, go do your fucking hair so we can leave. You have ten minutes.”

Billy walked into his bedroom and picked up his pack of smokes off of his bedside table and slid them into his pocket. Next he moved around his room gathering everything into his backpack for school. Once he had everything he went outside to smoke and wait for Max to be done. Nine minutes later she came storming out of the house and without a word to him slid into the passenger seat. Not to be rushed, Billy finished his first cigarette of the day before getting in the car and driving them to school.

After dropping Max off at the middle school, he raced down the street to the high school so he’d have enough time to smoke one last time in the parking lot before he had to go to his homeroom. He parked in his usual spot and sat on the hood of his car where he could watch people while he smoked. It was getting colder and he still didn’t have a proper jacket but figured he’d rather freeze than look like an idiot in some puffy winter coat. 

Harrington arrived just as Billy was stomping out his cigarette butt, and yeah he stared. It was the only safe moment to do so. Harrington was wearing his gray bomber and had these stupid expensive black Ray-Bans on his face. The real star of the show was Harrington’s ass in stonewashed denim jeans. He sat there watching the back of Harrington as he walked into the building. Then spent the entire walk to homeroom berating himself for it. 

The day was largely uneventful. Last period of the day for Billy was English and they were just watching a movie, The Grapes of Wrath, since they had just finished the book. The book had been fine but watching the film, which had been made in 1940 was not that exciting to Billy. So as the Joads began their westward trek, Billy’s mind wandered. And as it often did, it wandered to one Steven Harrington. Steve in his basketball shorts, his long pale legs which lead up to the most beautiful ass Billy had ever set eyes on. He’d get to see him in those shorts as soon as this class was over, as soon as he made it to basketball practice. Class passed by much too slowly for Billy’s liking. 

When the bell rang Billy was up and out of the door before the teacher had a chance to eject the VHS and wheel the TV cart back into the corner. He dropped by his locker to exchange a few books and then raced off across the building to the locker room so he could change. He already felt like a live wire, all this energy surging through him. It needed to go somewhere and basketball practice was as good a place as any to let it out. He was one of the first guys in the locker room and changed quickly before heading out onto the court to begin warm ups. Warm ups included jogging around the gym six times, stretching, and then practicing layups until everyone was ready to go. Billy had already worked up a sweat by the time the whole team was out on the court. Harrington was across the gym from him, Billy always kept track of where he was. 

Coach blew his whistle to get their attention and told them what drills to run, and pointed out things they needed to work on. Billy felt alive as he ran up and down the court. He checked a few people and got yelled at for it by the coach a few times but that was normal for him. When he got the chance he got up right behind Steve, so close to him. Close enough to smell his body wash. To try and block him from making the shot. Steve wasn’t backing down, he was steady on his feet today, quick to react to every move Billy made. 

“I like it Harrington, you’re playing tough today.” Billy said, his face smug as he spoke.

“Jesus man, you ever stop talking?” Harrington responded, an exasperated look on his face. 

“Nah, I like chatting with King Steve, our long talks really soothe my soul.” Billy replied, feeling almost giddy from the close contact and the conversation. He was almost forgetting that they were playing basketball. His distraction almost allowed Steve to get past him. Almost. At the last minute Billy faked out and sent Harrington falling to the ground as Billy raced down the court and made the basket. Billy yelled excitedly as he scored, feeling electric and alive. His expression fell just a little as he turned around and saw Steve still laying on the ground, watching him with an angry look on his face. Billy watched as another teammate offered a hand to help him up. Billy knew it should have been him who helped Steve up. He was not doing so well at this whole being nicer thing. He didn’t feel so alive anymore. 

He watched as Harrington stalked off in the other direction. As he watched him go he wished he was able to say something or do something to apologize, to make it better in some way. But the coach blew the whistle and ended practice before he got the chance. He walked slowly to the locker room feeling dejected as he went. He showered far away from Harrington, both out of safety for his own dick and respect for Harrington. Unfortunately, their lockers were close, a byproduct of the assignment having been alphabetical. 

As he toweled off and got dressed, trying not to stare at a half naked Harrington he tried to steel himself up to say something. To apologize for what had happened out on the court. He wanted to try and be better. 

“Hey Harrington,” Billy said in an effort to get his attention and try to attempt an apology. He had little experience at this and was sure he’d fuck it up somehow but he wanted to try. But he didn’t get the chance to. Harrington shut him down quickly.

“You can fucking can it Hargrove. I don’t need anymore of your bullshit tonight. You’re a fucking asshole, leave me alone.” With that, Harrington slammed his locker shut and stormed out of the room, leaving Billy feeling a strange combination of angry and sad. Which admittedly was a common combination of emotions for him. But this was way worse than normal. He had been trying. But as usual he’d failed. He’d pushed too far and couldn’t unfuck this situation. He angrily slammed his locker shut and stormed out of the locker room and to his car. 

He was fuming as he drove home, his mind racing. What was the fucking point of trying? No one liked him. He couldn’t magically fix shit. He was always going to be a fuck up. It was just like his dad always said. He shut himself away in his room trying his best to get lost in a Zeppelin record. It worked somewhat, calming him down just a little. He was still keyed up, still mad at himself for fucking up today, but his heart wasn’t racing as quickly. 

He’d been so lost in his own anger and self pity that he hadn’t heard the front door. Hadn’t heard his father arrive home. It was a complete surprise to him when his bedroom door burst open to reveal his father, red faced and angry. His father bound across the room pulling him up off of his bed and had him pressed against the wall in what was just seconds. He held him there by the neck of his tshirt. 

“You forget something today son? Did you forget that you were meant to pick Maxine up from the arcade after your basketball practice?” Billy’s eyes went wide. Shit. He’d been so caught up in himself he had completely forgotten about his redheaded step-sister. 

“I’m sorry sir, I did forget.” Billy watched as his father shook his head disappointedly. 

“There are lessons in life you need to learn son. Respect. Responsibility. I try so hard to teach you these values. Values that will make you successful in life. But you constantly let me down. You let Susan down. You let Maxine down. You can’t seem to do anything right can you?” Billy could hardly breathe. “Can you!” His father yelled as he pulled Billy forward slightly only to push him roughly back into the wall. The sound of his head hitting the wall echoed in the room. 

“Maxine had to use a payphone and call her mother at work. Luckily, that nice boy that drives the kids around sometimes, Harrington is able to bring her home. But you wasted Susan’s time and Max had to waste money at the payphone.” His father was yelling at him. He slammed him into the wall several more times. 

“You’re a pathetic excuse for a son. I’ll tell you that. I can only do so much for you.” With that, Billy could only stand there helpless as his father’s arm reeled back and landed a blow right to his face. It had been a long time since he’d gotten hit in the face. It was too obvious and attracted attention. But he’d really fucked up. 

“You will apologize to both Max and Susan tonight over dinner. I’m sure they’ll forgive you because they’re respectful and kind people. You can also tell them about your accident in basketball, about how you injured your face. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Another shove. “Yes sir.” Billy whispered, too worried his voice would shake if he was any louder. His father nodded. Happy with that answer and left the room. Billy sank to the ground. Just a minute later he heard the door open and Max run in. He heard his father ask her about her day. He listened to them talk as he sat silently sobbing, shaking, and clutching his forming black eye in his hand. He listened as Susan got home. He listened as dinner was made. He listened until he was called for dinner. Then he stood, wiped at his now dry eyes, and walked to the kitchen. Preparing himself for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...One Week
> 
> I'm really proud of this chapter. In the next chapter (Go me for already having it written AND edited!) you can look forward to more Steve and Billy interactions.


	8. Black Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cute boys fight when they should be kissing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: Graphic depictions of violence, references to child abuse.
> 
> Be safe and take care.

People stare when you have a black eye. They stare but they won’t look you in the eye. People wanted to ask questions, but most wouldn’t ask them. Only the most ballsy people would actually ask you how you got the black eye. Billy had long since mastered the art of intimidation, the gaze he would wear that would keep people from asking any questions they might have on the tip of their tongue. That’s the gaze he wore the day after his father hit him. He wore it like battle armor. It was better to let people talk. People would talk and run with it. With Billy’s reputation and the rumor mill, by the end of the day people would be talking about how Billy got in a bar fight the next town over. No one would consider that it had been a Monday night. Or that the bar in the next town over wasn’t even open that night. No one would ever stop to consider any of these factors. 

Billy was in rare form that day. Angrier than normal. Snapping at people left and right. Being particularly cruel to Tommy H. during lunch. He had no patience for people and he sure as hell didn’t want to be in school right now. No one dared ask him about his eye, but everyone was staring and their eyes had so many questions. It pissed Billy off to no end. It made him want to go on the attack, take some of these assholes around him down with him. But he managed to keep himself under control. For the most part. 

But there was no way in hell he was going to basketball practice. Sure it would piss off the coach. But he was the best fucking player on the team by a long shot and everyone knew it. The coach could give him shit about it but they needed him and missing one practice wouldn’t hurt their chances of a championship title. He just needed to get out as soon as he could. As soon as it was possible to leave without having the school call home. As soon as the final bell rang, Billy was out the door and barreling out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell. 

He drove by the police station and saw Hopper’s cruiser in the parking lot. It was against his better judgement but he decided to stop in and see the man. Hopper was the only person who would understand. Who wouldn’t give him the same stare he’d been receiving all day from everyone around him. He parked his car and walked into the building, looking around for the man in question. He walked up to the secretary’s desk and asked if Hopper was in. She didn’t even need to ask for his name because she already knew who Billy was from previous interactions. She walked over to his office door and knocked before peeking her head in and asking if he had a moment to talk to Hargrove. 

She turned to Billy and waved him over before walking back to her desk. Billy strode across the room and into Hopper’s office, shutting the door behind him. Billy gave Hopper some credit, he tried to hide his shock at seeing his black eye pretty quickly. It was better than most. Billy walked over and sat down. “Hey Hop.”

“Do I want to ask?”

“Don’t waste your breath asking questions you know the answer to.” Billy said, his voice quiet but fiery. Hopper just nodded his head. 

“You skip basketball practice tonight?” Hopper asked, even though it was obvious by Billy sitting across from him that he had. 

“I’m so much better than all those pansies anyway. They need more help than I do, so I’m entitled to a vacation or two.” Billy couldn’t sit still, couldn’t stop fidgeting his hands. He longed for a cigarette. 

“You wanna come over for dinner tonight?” Hopper asked him in what was a somewhat quick change in subject.

Billy just shrugged. “I don’t know. What you cooking?”

“I’ll probably just pick up pizza on the way home.”

“Pizza Hut?” Billy asked.

“If that’s what you want, it’s fine with me.”

“Alright, sounds good.”

“If you want you can head over to the house now. I’ve got some wood in the side yard that needs to be split and stacked. If you get most of it done, I’ll pay you ten dollars.”

“Make it twelve and you’ve got a deal.” Billy watched as Hopper smiled at that. It made Billy’s lips tweak up slightly in what was definitely not a smile. 

“You drive a hard bargain kid. Get going and I’ll see you around six.”

Billy nodded and jumped from his seat. He smoked the whole way to Hopper’s house which helped him wind down a little more. He took his time driving to the house and once he got there was equally relaxed in getting started at his task. Neil used to make him chop firewood at the old cabin they had in Northern California. Neil sold it shortly after his mom died to help pay off some of the medical debt. But Billy had mostly pleasant memories from the cabin. 

Swinging the axe was actually kind of fun. It was a workout, but Billy didn’t mind that. The activity helped calm him even more. It helped him get out all of the day’s frustration and anger. He didn’t have to think, he just had to rip apart wood and stack it up. Hopper probably knew this would help him. Billy didn’t question it. He was just thankful. Not that he’d admit it. He had been so distracted in paying attention to what he was doing that he didn’t even hear the car that approached. It wasn’t until he heard a car door slam that he turned and saw Harrington standing across the driveway with his arms crossed staring angrily at him. Billy dropped the axe. Jane smiled and waved at him as she bounded up the steps and into the house, blissfully unaware of the tension in the air. 

Billy was shocked to see Steve standing there before him but he guessed Steve was even more surprised to see Billy there. Steve approached him. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Billy didn’t know exactly what to say. He paused for a moment before speaking, “I’m just helping Hop out. Chopping some wood.”

“Sure, yeah that makes sense because you’re such a fine, upstanding citizen.”

Billy could feel the anger rising up within him. This was not a good situation for him to be in. “Oh fuck off Harrington, the fucking golden boy act isn’t fooling anyone. I’ve heard stories about how you were before I moved here. You would have given me a run for my money.” 

Steve’s eyes were fiery. He was getting worked up. Of course this gave Billy a sick sense of pleasure. “Yeah, it’s true. I did some fucked up stuff in the past. But I changed. I learned from my mistakes and grew as a person. The same can’t be said for you can it? Huh? That shiner on your face, I’m sure you had that fucking coming to you. You just don’t know when to shut your mouth.”

Billy froze. He could hardly breathe in that moment. At the mention of his black eye. How he deserved his black eye. His mind flashed back to the night before. In his bedroom with his dad holding him against the wall. He had been so scared. So overcome with pain that was so much more than the ache in the back of his head and on his face. It was the mental anguish of thinking he’d deserved it. The thought that if he could just manage to be a little better than his dad wouldn’t hurt him. He wrestled with these thoughts all night long. Hell, he’d been wrestling with those thoughts for years. What Harrington said made him snap. He stepped forward, fist already rising. Steve stood his ground.

“You gonna fucking punch me Hargrove? Well there’s no plates anywhere around here so maybe it’ll be a fair fight.”

It all happened so fast after that. He had already stepped forward to swing at Steve when the mention of that night sent him reeling. He had to stop. But he was already going. It was an example of Newton’s First Law of Motion. An object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. He felt his fist collide with Harrington’s jaw and he wanted to stop. He felt Harrington react and strike him back. And in that moment he just decided to let it happen. He would just let Harrington hit him. He wouldn’t fight back. 

Billy felt his breath leave him as Harrington knocked him to the ground. Again and again blows to his face came. It felt like it was both happening in slow motion and rapid speed at the same time. But then it stopped. Harrington was crouched over him. And no, this wasn’t how Billy had always imagined it. Billy opened his eyes and looked up at Steve. His expression was confused and almost pained. “What...what the fuck. Why aren’t you fighting back?” Steve asked him, almost yelled at him. 

Billy felt a little hazy from all the hits. There was blood on his face from somewhere, maybe his nose? “You deserved to get a few hits in.” Steve scrambled off of him, stood up and stared down at him bewildered.

“Are you fucking insane Hargrove?! I don’t want to fucking pumble you. I was just trying to defend myself. I don’t want to hit you. I don’t want to be like you.”

“I’m sorry,” Billy whispered as he brought his hand up to his face trying to feel where the blood was coming from. Definitely his nose. “I was just trying to make it up to you.”

Steve shook his head, “Dude that’s fucking crazy.”

“Crazy is kinda my thing.”

Steve huffed at that, it was almost a laugh. “Yeah that’s pretty obvious.” Steve walked back to him and offered his hand. All Billy could do was stare. 

“I’m not gonna bite, just helping you up.” Billy reached his hand out to take Steve’s and let himself be pulled up. Once he was standing his head began to rush and he stumbled. Steve steadied him. Steve looked guilty. “You alright.”

“Yeah I’ll be fine.”

Steve held onto him for another few seconds before he let go. They just stared at each other. Neither of them really knew what to say. Finally Billy spoke. “I’m sorry about the other day at practice. Shouldn’t have knocked you over.”

Steve shrugged. “Sorry for punching you in the face today.” Billy shrugged. 

“I punched you first.” Billy said it as a justification. Both boys were surprised when they heard the sound of another car approaching. They turned in time to see Hopper get out of his car carrying two pizza boxes in his hand. Billy could have almost laughed at the look of shock on Hop’s face as he took in the two of them. The bruise forming on Steve’s jaw and Billy’s bloody face. But they were also just standing there, the fight was over. 

Hopper spoke, “What the fuck happened?”


	9. Breakdown/Breakthrough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you have to breakdown to breakthrough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopper's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: Brief references to suicidal ideation. 
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Billy Hargrove was a kid with a lot of issues, this Hopper was coming to realize. His father abused him, he was homosexual, he was prone to use violence, and he was apparently suicidal. It was a lot. It also wasn’t an excuse for the harm he had caused to others. One of the biggest examples of that was what he had done to Steve Harrington. Hop got most of what happened second hand from Steve and a few of the kids. But Billy had shown up to the Byer’s place one night on a roll, some of the kids thought he might have been drunk. He was yelling for Max, going on about how they had to go home. Steve was there alone with the kids and he didn’t want Max driving in the car with him. This apparently set Billy off. He stormed into the house and attacked Steve. Steve put up a fight but Billy was stronger and he didn’t fight fair. One of the kids had to beat him over the head with a baseball bat and knock him unconscious to get him to stop. It had been traumatizing for all of them. 

Hopper had been adamant. Steve needed to press charges. He needed to make Billy pay for what he had done. But Steve had refused, said he didn’t want to go through all that. Hopper thought Max had something to do with it. There was probably more to the story than what Hopper had been told. Thinking back on it now, he had more questions. Like, what Max knew about Billy’s dad. Had there been something going on with his dad that night. It was hard to know without asking. He’d asked plenty of questions but he had no way of knowing if he’d been given all the answers. 

There was something about the kid that made him want to help him. Finding him that night, so close to ending it. It was haunting to think about. The kid was a mess but he was also just a kid. He was seventeen years old and he had wanted to die. He had been so vulnerable. Hopper guessed there was a part of him that would always want to protect vulnerable people. Maybe it was the police thing or maybe it was just him. The point was, Hopper wanted to help Billy, he promised himself that. But he didn’t excuse Billy’s behavior. The kid needed help. But he also had a lot of work to do on himself. Carrying around that much anger and volatility was not sustainable. Hop hoped he could help change that. 

But he wasn’t exactly bolstered in his hope of helping Billy change when he got out of his car and saw the two boys standing there bruised and bloody. To be completely honest, he had not thought through the fact that Steve would be bringing Jane home and watching her that evening. He hadn’t given it a second thought that Billy and Steve were so obviously an oil and vinegar situation--they didn’t mix well. They certainly shouldn’t be alone together. So when he saw the two of them standing there bloody, his first reaction was anger at himself for letting this happen. 

“What the fuck happened?” Hopper asked as he stood there holding their dinner. 

The boys just stared at him, open mouthed but silent. Idiots. 

Hopper set the pizzas down on the hood of his car and walked over. “Somebody’s gotta say something. Could you not remain civil for twenty minutes? Not to mention how irresponsible it is to fight while there is a teenage girl in the house.” To their credit, they both looked guilty at that. 

Billy spoke first. “I’m sorry sir, it was my fault. I swung at him first, he was just defending himself.” Hopper had felt bad a moment earlier thinking that Billy had probably started it. Hearing it confirmed just disappointed him. He couldn’t help but sigh. This boy was testing him. Part of him wanted to get angry. But anger wouldn’t be productive in this situation and especially not for someone like Billy. He had to stay calm and talk this out with him. 

“It wasn’t just him though. I mean I egged him on, he wouldn’t have gotten so angry if I hadn’t yelled at him first.” Steve interjected. 

“Okay, uh it doesn’t exactly matter who started it. You’re both nearly grown ass men. You shouldn’t have done any of this. Steve, you can drive yourself home. I assume you’re alright to drive.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Okay we’ll talk later.” With that, Billy and Hopper watched in silence as Steve walked to his car and then drove away, leaving the two of them there. Billy spoke first. 

“I’m sorry sir. I’m just not...I don’t think I’m ever not gonna be this fucked up person. I’m sorry for wasting your time.” Hopper’s heart broke as he watched the boy in front of him try not to cry. He could see it in his eyes. “I’ll leave.” He started walking away. Hopper couldn’t let him leave like this. He rushed forward and grabbed him by the arm. Billy flinched as he grabbed his arm. His muscle tensed and he raised his arm up as though he needed to protect himself. Hopper let go immediately. 

“Billy, you’re not leaving right now. I am disappointed that you hurt Steve again. I need to be clear that’s not alright. I understand you’re going through a lot. But it doesn’t excuse this type of behavior. But I’m not abandoning you. I don’t hate you. You fucked up. But people do that. You can make it right. You can apologize and work to be better. I have faith that you can do that.”

Billy’s face was contorted, hard to read. He looked caught between so many different emotions. Just one tear fell. Then another. Then he was crying. Hopper’s heart ached for the boy in front of him. The boy who was troubled and in pain and trying and failing. The boy who was sad and angry and wanted to die and was still alive. Men were told not to cry. But sometimes it’s just what needs to happen. Crying was a simple human act. Hopper wrapped his arms around the boy, felt him collapse in his arms. He was crying for so much more than this fight. He felt it all with him. The pain of wanting to die and then not dying. The pain of deciding to live. Life is hard. Life is worth it but it’s difficult sometimes. 

They remained like that for an unaccounted number of minutes. At one point Hopper looked up and saw Jane standing in the window of the door. She nodded at him. Confirmed that he was doing the right thing. Eventually Billy tired out. He was silent. Hopper let him have a moment of quiet before he spoke. 

“Hey kid, my arm is cramping and the pizza is getting cold. Let’s go eat dinner.”

The two of them separated. Billy wouldn’t look him in the eye. Hopper walked over and grabbed the pizza and then the two of them made their way inside. Dinner was a more somber affair. Billy remained quiet. Jane talked about her day. As dinner neared the end and Hopper was worried about Billy heading home Jane spoke to Billy. “I cried a lot when I first came here because my mama and papa weren’t so nice to me. But my dad is good at helping and I’m glad he’s helping you.” Hopper couldn’t speak, he could only stare in awe at his daughter. He turned and looked at Billy, saw his furrowed eyebrows relax slightly. 

“Yeah, your dad is good at helping.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #VulnerableBilly


	10. Wake Me Up Before You Go Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pop music makes Billy angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy's P.O.V.
> 
> Be safe and take care.

People were milling around the living room kind of dancing but mostly just swaying as they drank from plastic cups. The music was some ungodly Hall and Oates song but the booze in his cup is what made this experience worth it. He could barely remember whose house this was anymore, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing as far as Billy was concerned. His primary motivation for coming here this evening was the ready access to alcohol. The people around him he was less excited about, but they kind of came with the territory. Tommy H and a few other guys from the basketball team had come with him but they were already off chasing girls. Billy couldn’t be bothered to pretend tonight. He didn’t have the mental energy to have some underclassman try to give him a handjob and then have to lie and say he’s too drunk to get it up. 

Instead, he was content to pour more liquid from a random bottle of whiskey on the counter into his cup and sip at it as he watched the people around him. Nancy Wheeler and the weirdo art kid she dated now were dancing too close in the corner of the room. Billy had heard from some guys on the team that Steve was supposed to be here, but he hadn’t been seen yet. Billy didn’t want to see Steve, not after their fight last week. Sure, they had seen each other during basketball practice but they hadn’t so much as made eye contact. Things had been too awkward between them to even acknowledge one another. 

Billy wandered around the house, trying to find something to capture his attention. But the truth was this party wasn’t all that exciting. No one had gotten a keg, the music sucked, and it seemed like barely half the senior class had even shown up. Billy kind of wanted to leave, but he knew he shouldn’t drive home after having drank so much. The evening was turning out to be kind of a bust. He wandered out into the backyard so he could smoke and sober up in peace, away from the fucking Wham! song playing on the radio. If he had to hear one more lyric about a fucking yo yo he would go rip the wires out of the speakers himself. 

He could still hear the music from the backyard but it was faint enough that his anger towards the music dissipated somewhat. There were a few other people scattered around the yard, some of them smoking, some making out, and some were just laying in the grass probably stoned. The air was brisk but there was no wind and the sky was clear. Billy plopped down on the patio furniture and made himself comfortable, he settled in and lit up his cigarette. He was kind of cold but it was also kind of nice out here. There was something oddly settling about being surrounded by people but being left alone. He stared up at the stars in the sky and peacefully smoked through a couple cigarettes, his whiskey forgotten at his side. He was serious about sobering up, he just needed to take an hour or two. 

In the cold night air and just the company of his cigarettes Billy could feel himself relaxing, could feel the stress and tension he held in his muscles ease slightly. He thought about Hopper. All the things Hopper had said about how Billy could make things right, could be a better person. Billy wanted to believe these things. He really did. He still doubted himself but Hopper hadn’t given up on him, hadn’t even yelled at him and Billy knew he’d fucked up pretty bad. Probably deserved to be yelled at for punching Harrington again. That certainly hadn’t been his best move. He still felt weird about crying, felt weird about how often he seemed to cry in front of Hopper. He usually saved his tears for late at night when no one was around, where it was safe to be emotional. But he had cried in front of another person and it hadn’t been the end of the world. Maybe there was a lesson somewhere in there. 

He thought about Steve Harrington. The person whom he most desired but also hated. Harrington was the embodiment of all of Billy’s insecurities. He was popular, wealthy, nice without trying, and had stupidly good hair. He was this perfect human being, he was everything Billy wasn’t. But he desired all of it, in all the ways that he shouldn’t. The juxtaposition of who he was compared to who Steve was made Billy cringe, made him feel so inferior. This is what made Billy lash out at the boy, made him want to destroy him just a little bit. Make him just a little less perfect. But Steve was still everything Billy wasn’t, after all this time he was still the same as he ever was. Billy wanted him. Wanted to be him. Billy wanted so many things he would never get. At least he had his recurring sex dreams. 

His current cigarette burnt out and snapped him out of his thoughts, bringing him back to the present. To where he sat in the dim lighting of the back patio of some person’s house on a chilly fall night. He wanted to go home. Wanted to take a shower, jerk off, and go to bed. But he figured he still shouldn’t drive, he needed to wait a little longer. He thought of Hopper and knew he needed to do the right thing in this situation. 

He caught something out of the corner of his eye and cursed quietly to himself as he saw who walked past him. He’d recognize that hair anywhere. He wasn’t called Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington for nothing. He wanted to yell out to him, offer him a cigarette, and apologize. Take the opportunity to make things right. But he also wanted to disappear, fade into the darkness of the night, and get away from him. Because he would inevitably fuck up any interaction he had with Harrington. But Steve saw him, made eye contact even, and nodded. Then. Then he did the craziest thing ever. He came and sat down across from Billy on another patio chair. 

“Didn’t know you’d be here,” Steve said as he sat down in the chair, his voice casual and light. Billy was confused. Were they being nice now?

“Well, here I am.”

Steve nodded. “This party is kind of shit. No one even got a keg. I mean the music is good but no one’s even really dancing. Kind of a bust.”

Billy laughed derisively. “Of course you’re a George Michael fan.”

Steve looked defensive. “It’s a catchy song.”

“It’s a piece of shit song, is what it is.” Billy said.

“And let me guess, you’d only be happy if they were playing Led Zeppelin or The Stones.” Steve countered.

“Hell yeah, that’s real music. That pop crap will rot your brain.”

“It’s just fun music to listen to, it’s not that deep.”

Billy huffed. “Whatever man, let’s just agree to disagree.”

Steve shook his head like he was annoyed but a smile toyed on his lips. Billy felt high and he hadn’t even partaken in the joints that were being passed around earlier. The two were silent for a few moments as neither knew what to say. What did you say to the guy you semi-regularly punch in the face because of your big gay crush on him? Talking about music was clearly off the table. 

They both tried to start speaking at the same time, resulting in an awkward back and forth where they both insisted the other go ahead. “No you,” Billy said finally and assertively. He was trying to be nice goddammit. 

“I’m sorry about last week. Hitting you, I mean. I let anger get the best of me.”

Billy scoffed. “I’m the one that hit you first, why are you even apologizing to me? I should be apologizing to you.”

Steve smiled,” Well are you? Going to apologize. Cause that wasn’t actually an apology. You just said you should apologize but you didn’t actually do it.”

Billy grimaced but felt no anger. “Fine. I’m sorry for punching you in the face, Harrington. I’m sorry I left a bruise on your pretty face.”

Steve nodded his head, “Hmm your tone was a little sarcastic which can come across as insincere so honestly I can only give that apology like an eight out of ten.”

Billy was amused by Steve’s words. “Well that’s the best you’re gonna get from me.”

Steve’s face looked serious, like he was considering something. “Well I’ll tell you what. I will accept that sarcastic and only somewhat sincere apology only if you bum me a cigarette. Do that and we’ll call it even.”

Billy bit back a smile. “I suppose that’s fair.” He rustled in his pocket for the pack that was there. He pulled out a cigarette and handed it over to Steve. 

“I need a light man. I quit last year, don’t carry a lighter anymore.”

“Good job quitting,” Billy said jokingly as he reached for his zippo lighter. 

“Hey, once in a while won’t hurt me.”

“Fair enough,” Billy said as he got up and walked over. He held the lighter out to the end of the cigarette from where it sat perched between Steve’s lips. Billy felt mesmerized as he pushed down on the lighter and watched the flame dance. Watched as Steve tilted his head to catch the fire. It was over too soon and he was back across from Steve in his own chair, lighting up his own cigarette so he’d have something to do with his hands. He watched Steve take his first puff, watched him exhale slowly. 

“Thanks man, appreciate it.”

“No problem.”

The two of them sat there, no words exchanged as they smoked their cigarettes in the cold air. The only noise was the faint sounds of the people around them and the music from inside. Billy groaned as yet another Hall and Oates song came on. Steve laughed at the expression on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wake Me Up Before You Go Go  
> by. Wham!:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIgZ7gMze7A
> 
> Billy's opinions on these artists are not my own lol


	11. Not a Chance Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy apologizes, Hopper is proud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopper's P.O.V
> 
> Be safe and take care.

“How is Max doing,” Hopper asked Jane as the two sat at the table eating dinner. Cooking hadn’t exactly been Jim Hopper’s best skill and for most of his adult life he’d lived off take out and frozen food. But having a child made him realize that he should try to make things a little more healthy so he had begun to cook more. Tonight he had made spaghetti and meat sauce and a salad. 

“Max is awesome, she said she’s gonna teach me how to skateboard which she did a lot in California. I might need to buy a helmet, at least in the beginning, because she said I’ll probably fall a few times while I’m learning.” Hopper groaned internally. He wasn’t the biggest fan of this idea but he wanted to be supportive nonetheless. But it also wasn’t what he had been asking about. 

“That sounds exciting, we can go look for a helmet at Melvald’s this weekend and see what they have. How’s everything at home for Max, does she get along well with her Stepfather?”

Jane just shrugged. “I guess so, we don’t really talk about her family much. She usually just complains about Billy.” Jane was silent for a moment before she spoke again. “Max said sometimes she thinks Billy is sad and that’s why he acts angry.” Hopper was admittedly impressed that a thirteen year old had made such an observation. 

“Yes, sometimes Billy is sad.”

“That’s why he was crying last week when he was here?” Jane asked.

“Yes, that’s part of the reason. Does Max ever say anything about Billy and his dad?”

“Well, she said her stepdad can be kind of strict. He yells sometimes, but it’s not that bad. He never yells at Max though, but she said sometimes she hears him yelling at Billy late at night.”

Hopper had to fight a look of deep concern off of his face. He didn’t want to give too much away to Jane. Jane was mature for her age but he had to walk a balance because Jane was very good friends with Max and it seemed pretty clear that Max didn’t know the full truth about how Neil treated Billy. But his daughter was also very perceptive, she could read him too well. She hesitated a moment before she spoke. “Is Billy’s dad mean like my papa was?” She asked her voice quiet and concerned. Hopper nodded slowly.

“I don’t know exactly honey, but he’s not the nicest to Billy all the time. I just want to make sure he’s nice to Max.”

Jane nodded knowingly, her young eyes more mature than they ought to be. “I’ve never heard of anything but I can keep an eye on her and make sure she’s alright.”

Hopper gave a small smile. “That’s a good idea honey, I’m glad you’re looking out for your friend.”

“Is Billy going to be alright, should I look out for him to?”

“Well I am trying my best to help Billy, that’s why he comes over here sometimes for dinner and to hang out.” Jane smiled and nodded. 

“I’m glad you’re helping him Dad. If anyone can help him it’s you.”

Hopper’s heart swelled a little at her words. He really hit the jackpot in getting Jane as a daughter. “Thank you for saying that honey. I’m going to do my best for him.”

Their conversation veered from there and Jane went on to detail her day at school and the funny things Mike said during lunch. The rest of the night passed by without much fanfare, although Hopper had some panic over trying to help with eighth grade math. Admittedly, he didn’t use algebra much in adulthood so it was hard to try and convince his daughter that she did need to do her homework because it mattered for her future. The homework got done but he was sure that most of them were incorrect. Hopper hadn’t known math was going to be a prerequisite for parenting. 

The next morning Hopper dropped Jane off at school with the reminder that Steve would be picking her up from the arcade this afternoon and bringing her home. She was already halfway out the door and running towards her friends when he said this but he figured it was fine and drove off to work. He greeted Flo where she sat at the front desk and headed into his office to tackle the pile of papers that was sure to be there waiting for him on a Monday morning. Which was in fact how almost his entire day passed by. Come six o’clock when he was ready to leave, the pile of paperwork was much smaller, which meant tomorrow he might get to go out and do some patrolling with some of the other guys. 

Hopper enjoyed a leisurely drive home, smoking a cigarette the whole way and thinking about what they should have for dinner. He turned off the road and onto the dirt driveway that led through the trees and up to his house. He almost had a heart attack when he saw two cars sitting in his driveway. A blue camaro and a new model BMW. Shit. Hopper stepped on the gas, racing to park his car and flung himself out of the car as quickly as he could, thinking the worst. Fuck not again. But his heart rate slowed pretty quickly when he got up to the front porch and saw the two teenage boys standing on the porch together, each smoking a cigarette.

Steve looked confused as to why Hopper seemed so flustered. Billy looked amused. “Relax old man, pretty boy’s face is just fine.” Billy remarked before taking another drag off his cigarette. Hopper let the old man comment go. He wasn’t old. He was perfectly middle aged. 

“So you two are being civil now?” Hopper asked as he climbed up the stairs to join them. 

“Billy apologized.” Steve said calmly. Hopper made a face. Billy laughed. 

“Don’t look so surprised man. I’m hurt.”

“Well it was kind of sarcastic,” Steve added. “But I figured it was all Hargrove had in him. Plus he gave me a cigarette.”

Billy’s brow furrowed at this but his eyes were light. “Fuck you, my apology was fine. And that’s another one of my cigarettes you’re smoking right now. Admit you’re smoking again and buy your own pack.”

Hopper was amused by their exchange. Pleasantly surprised and amused at the same time. No one was bleeding. That was progress. “Alright, well I’m happy to see you two standing here with no blood on either of you. And you should both quit smoking, that shit will kill you,” Hopper said as he lit up another smoke for himself. Both boys stared at him with a look that made sure he knew what they were both thinking. Yeah he was a fucking hypocrite. He loved his cigarettes and had no plan to quit anytime soon. 

“Boys, that’s a do as I say not as I do situation.”

They both laughed in his face. Where was the damn respect, he thought wryly to himself? He was far from mad. He was more than happy to stand out here and talk to the boys. He asked them about basketball and Billy was merciless in his ribbing of Steve about how he played. But Steve was giving it right back and the two even shared a few laughs. Hopper was a little confused as to what had caused such a dramatic shift between the two of them but he figured he shouldn’t question it. Maybe it was a real goddamned miracle. A miracle that Billy had apologized and that Steve apparently had it in him to easily forgive the guy who smashed a plate over his head just a few months prior. One shouldn’t question these things, he figured. You just go along with it. 

The three of them stood there chatting for about thirty minutes until Steve excused himself to head home. Billy followed him inside and made a face when he heard the music blaring from Jane’s room. Hopper shrugged apologetically. “Jane’s on a big Madonna kick right now. I need to get her a walkman and some cassettes so she can listen with some headphones.” 

“Max is probably to blame for that. She’s always asking me to play Madonna in my car. Hell no, the driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their pie hole.”

Hopper laughed at that one. “Can’t blame you on that one. I’m not a fan of this Madonna.”

Billy plopped down at the kitchen table like he owned the place, making himself comfortable with his feet up on another chair. It was probably something he should tell the boy not to do but he found he didn’t actually care that much. Hopper set about warming up the pasta sauce from last night to have leftovers. He talked to Billy as he worked.

“So you apologized to Steve? When did that happen?”

Billy worked hard to seem casual as he talked about it. “We were at the same party on Saturday night. I was kinda drunk--” Billy paused when he remembered who he was talking to. Hopper laughed out loud. “I mean, I was drunk on the spirit of the Lord, from studying the bible so much that night,” Billy continued with a glint in his eyes. He was fooling no one. But Hopper couldn’t bring himself to care too much about the drinking. “I apologized and we talked for awhile. Turns out he has shit taste in music but otherwise he’s alright.”

“I’m really proud of you for doing that Billy.”

Billy made a face at his words. Clearly this wasn’t something he heard frequently. “I know it must have been hard for you, but it’s a step in the right direction.”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Billy said, trying to deflect from his discomfort with sarcasm. 

Hopper turned back to stirring his pot of spaghetti and couldn’t help but smile to himself, feeling a strong sense of pride and satisfaction that Billy was making progress and taking steps in the right direction. With this back still to Billy he repeated the words. “I’m proud of you kid.”

“Oh fuck off, “Billy replied.

“Not a chance kid.” Hopper said just as much to himself as he did Billy. There was no way he’d give up on Billy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can catch the Supernatural reference, then you're awesome.


	12. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Much teen angst ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: Gay Slurs (In reference to one's self)
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Billy’s family was not really religious. His mom had been the primary reason they attend mass every Sunday. After she died, his father couldn’t be bothered to wake up that early on a Sunday morning. But they still went to mass on Christmas. It wasn’t a fun event as mass was too long and half of it was in a language he didn’t understand. It was also the one time a year his dad would shove him toward the confession booth. As a child Billy dreaded this. He didn’t like the whole process of confessing all your deep dark secrets to some strange priest who you couldn’t even see. But he remembered the words of his mother, that it was a chance to unburden oneself and let go of guilt and sin. 

When Billy was eleven years old he was especially anxious for his one shot at confession. This had been the year he realized he liked boys and he was beside himself thinking about how it was a sin. He kept thinking about how his mom would be mad at him. He supposed he should probably have cared more about what God thought of him, but Billy didn’t really know if he even believed in God. If there was a God, then he allowed his mom to die and Neil to live. That was no kindness. If there was a God and he did that then Billy figured he wasn’t a God worthy of his praise and devotion. 

But his mom had definitely believed in God. She believed in the bible and she always went to confession. Billy knew he had to go and get this horrible secret off of his chest. He had to go and confess his sin so that he would be forgiven and God might fix him. He figured that’s how it would work. He climbed up the one step and into the confession booth that year, his heart hammering away in his chest. He began to tell the priest on the other side of the grate about his crush. About the boy in his class who shared his pencils with him.

Their desks were next to one another and Billy really liked him because he always shared his pencils and Billy was always forgetting them. As Billy’s crush grew he began to purposefully forget his pencils just so that he’d get to ask to borrow one. Fifth grade was the beginning of puberty and the beginning of the realization that he was different. It was also the first time he heard one of his classmates call somebody a fag. It was a word that stuck with him.

He told his priest the whole story, interjecting that he knew it was wrong and he was sorry about having these feelings. He felt so guilty. He hoped and prayed that by confessing this that he’d be fixed. The priest told him to pray. Told him to say a bunch of ‘hail Mary’s’ and ‘Our Fathers’. Then he’d been asked to leave. Billy felt kind of numb as he left the confession booth. That was it? Was he fixed now?

But the feelings didn’t go away. They just grew more and more intense as he got older. He couldn’t hold back his feelings of longing for the same sex. He couldn’t help but stare lustfully at surfers on the beach, at other boys in the locker room, and at the PlayGirl magazines up on the top shelf behind the counter at the gas station. He was so guilty the whole time but too driven by desire to care. He stole gay porn magazines from the gas station when he was fifteen and hid them under his mattress. 

Those magazines weren’t just about getting off. They gave him an insight into a whole world. It let him know that he wasn’t the only one like this. He wasn’t the only boy who thought about what it might be like to kiss another boy. To hold another boy and be held by another boy. The magazines were full of men kissing, men fucking, men in every stage of undress doing everything imaginable to each other which gave him plenty of ideas. But he was trapped. Trapped by his own guilt and shame surrounding these feelings and trapped by the fear of his father. He knew there were other gay men around him but he didn’t know how to get to them, and even if he had he probably wouldn’t have been brave enough to go find them. 

Neil didn’t know about his feelings but Billy was sure he suspected. Billy was sure that even though he tried so hard to keep up appearances and go on dates with girls that his father knew. It was probably one of the reasons his father hated him so much. Because Billy was a disappointment in so many ways and this was just one more. 

************ 

Billy didn’t know what he expected after half-drunkenly apologizing to Steve Harrington while simultaneously insulting his taste in music. It probably could have gone better, but it hadn’t gone that bad at all. It definitely could have gone a lot worse. The fact that Harrington actually forgave him seemed like some small miracle. The fact that he stayed around talking and shared a cigarette with him was a much larger miracle. Billy had felt lighter as he drove home from the party, he felt like something inside of him was different, like there was a new resolve within him. A resolve to keep doing this. To keep being better to the people around him. 

Billy didn’t know what to expect the next day at school. He assumed it wouldn’t be that different. That he’d see Steve at basketball practice and maybe they’d share a nod or a wave but that there wouldn’t be much more interaction than that. But he got so much more than that. Steve greeted him as they both hurried to change their clothes for practice. Billy had been thrown off, but recovered quick enough to return the greeting. Then, on the court during practice Steve yelled to him, drawing his attention to a play he might have missed in the moment. With Steve’s assist he was able to make a basket he would have otherwise missed out on. Did they actually work well together? When they actually communicated with one another did they play a better game? Turns out they did. They were on fire all of practice, working together as a killer offensive team. 

Practice ended with both of them more breathless and sweaty than normal. The coach complimented them both on their sportsmanship and how well they worked together. Billy knew the coach was probably just glad he hadn’t had to jump between them to break anything up today. The two shared a few words here and there as they showered and dressed. They were both ready to walk to their cars at the same time. “You taking Jane home today?” Billy asked.

“Yeah, I’m going to pick her up from the arcade right now. Are you picking up Max?”

Billy shook his head. “Nah the Wheeler kid’s mom is bringing her home. Sparing me from that tonight. I’m probably gonna drive out to Hop’s place.”

Steve nodded. “Alright, I’ll probably see you there then. Later.”

“Later,” Billy replied as he got in his camaro and watched Harrington’s beemer drive away. This whole day had felt like some sort of alternate dimension, some sort of different reality. Everything had seemed upside down, but in a good way. Billy was uncharacteristically happy as he drove the winding back roads to Hop’s place. He arrived before Steve, so he sat on the front steps smoking because what else would he do. He heard the sound of the tires coming up the dirt road before he saw the car. But he stood when the car pulled to a stop in the driveway. Jane came running out of the passenger side door and bound up the steps yelling a quick, “Hi Billy,” before she disappeared inside. 

Harrington was slow behind her. “Don’t mind her, she’s gotta run inside so she can call Mike. I think they’re an item.”

“Wow, I so don’t care about the dating lives of middle schoolers,” Billy said, his voice lighthearted.

Steve laughed. Billy smiled, happy that he made Steve laugh. “Yeah I don’t know how I feel about the fact that I know so much about the dating lives of middle schoolers either. It’s kind of weird.”

Billy held out a cigarette to Steve. Steve took it but not without commenting. “You’re corrupting me, I was supposed to have quit.” Billy laughed as he lit up Steve’s smoke. 

“Quitting’s for losers Harrington.”

The two stood there chatting about school and practice. It was about nothing important at all but Billy felt on top of the world. Then Hopper arrived, looking beyond freaked out to see them there together. Billy felt a twinge of shame coupled with guilt that he made people assume the worst. They were not wrong to assume the worst based on his past behavior, but it still made Billy feel bad. Billy had a snarky comment to greet Hopper.

“Relax old man, pretty boy’s face is just fine.” Billy butted in, realizing Hopper didn’t know that he had apologized. But Steve interrupted to let Hopper know that Billy had in fact apologized even if it had been a bit sarcastic. The three of them had stood there talking until Steve had to leave. Then Billy had stayed for dinner, taking in his time at the dinner table with Jane and Hopper. Billy already relied on this time. He relied on Hopper to steer him in the right direction, to call him out when he started to go astray. Hopper listened to him and seemed to genuinely care about the answers he gave. He was supportive in a way that no one in his life had been since Billy’s mom had died. He’d been eight years old when she died. He’d gone almost a decade without this much emotional support in his life. 

When Billy finally got home and was laying in his bed later that night he couldn’t help but think about the day. Think about how good of a day it had been. Steve Harrington had made this day so much better than all the rest. Billy liked Steve. But he also liked Steve way more than he should. A part of him wished so desperately that he wasn’t like this. That he wasn’t always fighting the urge to stare at Harrington in the locker room or in the showers. That he didn’t have to shake himself out of staring at Harrington’s butt in their basketball shorts. None of this was normal. 

The person who was most especially not like that was the hot jock of the school. Billy berated himself for being an idiot, for being so fucked up that of course he’d fall for the single most unattainable person in the world. But he couldn’t help who he wanted. He couldn’t help the dreams that came to him at night, dreams in which he did unspeakable things to that jock in the locker room. On the basketball court. In his camaro. Those dreams brought him so much pleasure, but he hated himself the whole time. He still wished that he could just be normal. Wished that he got what the allure about boobs was. Because, he really just didn’t get the point of boobs. 

Keeping Steve at a distance allowed him to keep control of the situation. Being mean to the guy helped him rationalize that it wasn’t that bad, that he wasn't that much of a faggot. But what was this now? Were they friends? Could Billy Hargrove even be friends with Steve Harrington? There was so much about him that was fucked up. It made him think that he probably would’ve been better off killing himself that night a few weeks ago. But the moment was passed. He didn’t really want to die anymore. Things were looking up in his life. There was someone who seemed to actually care about him like his mom had. His mom’s memory was in his mind reminding him that he should live.

And maybe he could get over Steve Harrington. Maybe there was still a chance for him to be normal, to find a girl he could be with and have a happy life. Because being gay couldn’t be a happy life, it was a life of hiding, secrecy, and shame. To be gay was to have everyone in your life hate you, to be disgusted by you. There was no happiness to be found in being gay. Billy tried to reassure himself that he could get past this. He would get over his crush on Steve Harrington and he would try harder to be normal. He could find happiness if he just tried harder.


	13. Make a Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joyce and Hopper chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopper's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: Brief reference to suicide attempt
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Jim Hopper had been forty years old when he adopted his daughter Jane. He had lived a lot of his life before becoming a parent. But the life he was living before wasn’t much of one. Drinking had been his favorite and one might say only pastime outside of work. He was largely apathetic about his job. He had risen through the ranks to become Chief of Police but there also hadn’t been much competition. It was a small town and a small department, not many people were fighting for the job. He didn’t think of himself as depressed during this time, but he also wasn’t what many would call happy. 

He was short tempered and dismissive to most of the people around him. Which might have been worse but the only people he had frequent contact with were his coworkers and he was the boss so they couldn’t say much to him about it. He had two dead parents and a brother who lived across the country that he didn’t talk to. Which meant he was alone and living in the old cabin his family had owned and had been left to him when his father died in 1970. The truth of the matter was that Jim Hopper was lonely and that loneliness just led to more drinking. He was a pretty functioning alcoholic but undoubtedly drank much more than he should have. He wasn’t necessarily addicted to drinking but it was his only outlet and most of the time, his only friend.

The few buddies he had from Vietnam were scattered across the country and beside the occasional letter or phone call he didn’t talk to them much anymore. Which left him a lonely, sad, middle aged man, living in the middle of nowhere, with no close friends or really any family at all. Finding Jane had changed everything. Adopting her had given him a sense of purpose he hadn’t felt since he was young and thought he’d be saving lives in his job. She brought a lot of hardships with her, her childhood had been hugely traumatic. But she was resilient and joyful despite all the hardships that should have made her otherwise. She completely changed his life by giving him a family. 

She brought with her a group of friends and suddenly Hopper had to meet all these kid’s parents to coordinate birthday parties and sleepovers. Maybe it was kind of sad that the only way he was able to make friends was through his daughter’s friends but he didn’t really care. The introduction of Joyce Byers into his life had been a huge relief. The woman was a single mother who understood the hussle it took to work full time and manage kids. She was fiercely protective of her children and was not someone to be messed with. But she was also one of the most kind and compassionate people he knew. She had saved him from the horribly awkward experience of having to explain changing bodies and puberty to his teenage daughter. And for that alone, she was one of his favorite people in the world. She was someone he could talk to about parenting and he always trusted what she had to say. Which is why he wanted to talk to her about Billy. 

They were sitting at Joyce’s kitchen table drinking coffee and smoking. Will and Jane were off in Will’s room listening to some record and getting up to who knows what. It was mid-morning on a Saturday and this was what they often did on the weekends. He didn’t exactly know how to breach the subject, so he thought he should just go all in. 

“What do you think about homosexuals?” Hopper asked directly, cutting straight to the chase. 

Joyce turned her head and gave him a strange look. “Are you trying to tell me something Jim?”

Hopper’s face reddened and he sputtered. “No Joyce, I’m not trying to tell you that. It’s just a general question.”

Joyce laughed at him but regained herself and quieted for a moment while she thought about it. “Well I think it’s just the way some people are born. I don’t see the big deal about it. People just love who they love, I don’t think it’s that complicated. Why are you asking?”

Hopper took a breath. He wanted to respect Billy’s privacy. He had told her he was helping out a kid he’d found in a serious situation. He hadn’t brought himself to reveal who this person was and she was kind enough to respect the anonymity. But it probably also wasn’t that hard to piece together who it might be. It was a small town. 

“The kid I’m helping out. The one who I found about to kill himself. He’s one.”

“The kid is a homosexual? He told you this?”

“Yeah, he actually told me that night. He acted like saying it would make me leave him to it. Make me hate him so much that I’d leave him to get on with killing himself. He seems pretty torn up about it. I don’t really know how I’m supposed to go about handling this.”

Joyce’s expression was sympathetic, he could see her mind racing trying to think of what to say, a way that she might be able to help. “Well it’s a hard thing to be. I mean people get killed for being gay. Most people aren’t very nice, I wish it were better here for people who are different. More like they are in California and New York. I think you just need to talk to him. Let him know that it’s okay to be who he is. If he has just one or two people in his life who know and support him it will probably help him a lot. Make him less depressed and less likely to try to harm himself again. I’m no expert in this though.”

Hopper nodded, agreeing with everything she said. “It’s just pretty outside of my area of comfort.” He paused before quickly adding, “I mean I don’t hate him for it or hate people like that I just don’t know about it, I mean it’s all new to me.”

Joyce offered a soft smile of understanding. She began to speak, her voice quieter this time like she didn’t want to be overheard. “You know, I’ve had suspicions about Will being you know…” she trailed off for a moment before speaking again, this time her voice a bit thicker with emotion. “Lonnie was so hard on the boys, he was harder on Jonathan but Will still took a lot. He was always more sensitive than his older brother. It’s only a suspicion and I might be wrong but I just know I’ll love that kid no matter what. He’s got a good and kind heart and that’s all I care about. I want him to be happy and I’ll support him no matter what that happiness may be.”

Hopper reached out to place a comforting hand on Joyce’s. He understood everything she was saying. And he thought about Billy and his dad who hit him. He thought about how Billy had apologized, how he was trying to be better. The kid had a good heart within him, he had so much to offer the world. Already, Hopper was hard pressed to imagine what a week without having Billy over for dinner at least once would look like. He remembered just a few nights ago when Billy had helped Jane with her math homework. Turns out the kid was really smart, apparently in an advanced math class but he seemed embarrassed to admit it. He was full of heart and potential. And Hopper knew he could be the support that the kid needed to reach his highest potential. 

Hopper, as usual, was impressed by what Joyce said. “You’re a hell of a mom Joyce. You’re kids are lucky to have you.” She blushed, a little uncomfortable by the compliment. Hopper thought she was beautiful. 

“Likewise Jim,” she responded. “Your kids are lucky to have you as well. You’re a decent man and you care. That’s more than a lot of men out there.”

Now it was Hopper’s turn to be uncomfortable from a compliment. Joyce knew what she was doing too, by the cheeky look she gave him. But he was stuck on what she said. She had said kids, plural. “I only have one child Joyce.”

She grinned, not looking at him for a moment as she tapped her cigarette on the ashtray between them on the table. She finally looked back up at him, “Yeah but you’re never gonna let this other one go. So face it, you have two kids now.”

Hopper had a soft smile on his face. Yeah, he supposed he did have two kids now. Hell, sometimes it already felt like he had more kids with all the advice and help he gave to Steve Harrington. How he helped Dustin Henderson fix his bike because his dad had died when he was little and his mom didn’t know what to do. How he helped Lucas Sinclair deal with some racist bullies at school. In a way he had a whole herd of kids. He cared about them all and would do anything to help all of them. So in a way, Joyce was more right than she even knew. 

As he drove home much later in the day with Jane sitting beside him as they listened to music she liked on the radio he reflected on his life. How just a couple of years ago he mostly just sat at home on the weekends and got more drunk than he did during the week because he didn’t have to go to work. Now he had Jane to drive around. He had Joyce to drink coffee with. He had people in his life who depended on him and it felt good to be needed. It felt good to be around people. It felt good to care about others and to be able to help them when they needed it. He knew he could help Billy because in many ways he knew what it was like to need change in your life. He had longed for something different and he’d made it happen. He could help Billy do the same, help the kid find love, happiness, and acceptance in his own life. Because everyone deserved that.


	14. Are You Gonna Punch Me? Pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Billy almost punches Steve but not for the reason you might think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy's P.O.V. 
> 
> Be safe and take care.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

Billy flinched from where he stood in front of the mirror in his bedroom getting ready for a night out. Billy turned around to see his father framed in the doorway of his room, trapping him in the room. Billy’s breath caught in his throat. He felt like he couldn’t speak but he had to force himself. He tried to seem calm as he responded.

“I’m going out. There’s a party at Tommy’s, the whole team is going to be there.”

Neil took a step forward into the room. Billy stood up straighter, mentally steeling himself for whatever his father was about to say or do to him. His father stopped a few feet in front of him, his voice was quieter now. Max was still home. Susan was out at the grocery store, but Max was in her room right down the hall. Billy knew he should feel safer knowing that fact but it didn’t ease the icy fear that flowed through him in that moment. 

“I told you yesterday that Susan and I are going out to dinner and the movies tonight. You need to stay here and watch Max. She may need a ride to a friend's house or the arcade. It’s your job to take care of her and get her where she needs to go.”

Billy’s heart dropped. He really wanted to go to this party. He didn’t really let himself think about how most of that excitement was because Steve was going to be there. Steve had specifically asked him if he was coming to the party. Had wanted Billy to be there. Billy’s heart was hammering in his chest. There was no way he’d make it to that party now. He’d miss his chance to spend time with Steve outside of school and practice. He had no choice in the matter. There was no way he could say no to his father. 

Billy stared his father in the eyes and apologized. “I’m sorry sir. You’re right, I did forget. I’ll stay here with Max.” His father gave a small smile and a slow nod. He was satisfied with Billy’s reply. Billy let out a small breathe, he had narrowly avoided getting hit and he knew it. 

“We’ll be leaving as soon as Susan gets back. If Max goes anywhere make sure both of you are home by eleven tonight.”

“Yes sir.”

His father, content that his point had been made, turned and left the room. Left Billy to stand there for a moment letting the disappointment of this news wash over him. Part of him wanted to break something. Part of him wanted to cry. Part of him felt so stupid for even wanting to cry. Because he was ridiculous. He shouldn’t be this excited about seeing Steve anyways. But the last month and a half, since he had apologized, had been the most exciting of his life. He’d never had someone to joke around with the way he could with Steve. Someone who met his own sarcasm with equal force and returned it. Billy was more in love than ever. His resolve that he could be anything but infatuated with Steve Harrington had gone out the window quickly. 

Now he was stuck in this inbetween place. This place of wanting so much more but wishing he didn’t want anything at all. He was really happy just to have Steve in his life at all, his friendship was nice and he kept trying to remind himself that it was good and that it was enough. But he didn’t think it would be or even could be enough for him. He just kept wanting more. 

He had been in the middle of doing his hair, spraying too much hairspray on this one curl that just wouldn’t fall the right way. He turned and picked up the bottle of hairspray only to throw it across the room where it hit the closet door and fell with a thud. There was no point to doing his hair anymore. There was no one to impress, no one was going to see him. He threw himself down onto his bed, wanting to lay there and mope around. He laid there for a long while. Definitely not thinking about Steve Harrington’s laugh, the way he so frequently pushed his Ray-Bans to the top of his head when he got out of the car, the way it felt to have Steve right up against his back during basketball. He laid there and listened as Susan arrived home and she yelled out to them that they were leaving. 

Once they were gone Billy sat up. The house was quiet, he wandered into the living room and found Max there, watching some cartoon. “You planning on seeing any of your little friends tonight?” He asked her. 

“Nah, Mike’s away at his uncle’s funeral and Dustin has to help his mom with something so there’s no campaign tonight.”

“Yeah I don’t care what your friends are doing. You don’t need to go anywhere?”

Max shook her head no. He was free. He could do this. He could go to the party, just for a couple of hours. It was risky, sure. But he could do it. It was just a little after seven right now. They’d be gone for a few hours. He could make an appearance at the party, not drink too much, and be back before his parents even knew he was gone. 

“Well, if you don’t need anything then I’m gonna head out for a few hours. You’ll be alright here.”

Max made a face. She wanted to say something. “Neil said you had to stay here and watch me.”

“You’re thirteen fucking years old. Do you need a babysitter all the time?” Max huffed. 

“No, I don’t. I’ll be fine.” Billy smiled. That’s what he thought. Billy was grinning smugly as he raced to grab his keys and cigarettes before racing out the front door. Tommy H lived on the same side of town as him, albeit in a bigger and nicer house. It only took him about ten minutes to pull into his packed driveway. This party already looked a lot more fun than the last one he had been to. His heart did a leap in his chest when he saw Steve’s beemer parked on the curb. Billy quickly checked his hair one last time in the mirror, taking the time to fix that one damn curl that wouldn’t go the right way, before jumping out of his car and going inside. 

The house was packed, people were everywhere. He spotted a few other guys from the team around the room and gave them a nod. His first order of business was to head into the kitchen and get a drink. There was no way he could do this night sober, especially not after the stress of his father earlier in the night. He had to shove himself through the crowds of people in order to make it to an almost equally as crowded kitchen. But the kitchen was well stocked, the counter was scattered with bottles of liquor and several packs of beer. He grabbed a can of beer and popped it open, even though it wasn’t his usual drink of choice. He was feeling adventurous tonight. He stood in the kitchen for several minutes, falling into conversation with a few of the girls that passed by him. He quickly extracted himself from that conversation by saying he had to go look for a friend, which wasn’t a lie. He’d been craning his neck since he arrived looking for that tell-tale head of hair that would lead him to Steve Harrington. Billy roamed around, squeezing himself in between people and stepping on a few toes. But he moved too quickly and cared too little about the yells that resulted from it. 

He had just about searched most of the downstairs and was beginning to fear that he’d somehow missed Harrington, when he finally spotted him. Steve was standing in the corner of the den with a drink in his hand, chatting too intensely to Leslie Stevens, a particularly slutty junior. Billy had to fight off the wave of jealousy that washed over him. It was short lived though, because once Steve caught his eye he waved excitedly to Billy and excused himself from his conversation with Leslie to walk over and meet Billy. 

“Billy! You made it! I was beginning to think you weren’t gonna show.” Steve shouted at him over the noise of the music. 

“Had to deal with my parents, but I finally made it.”

Steve smiled. Billy couldn’t help but stare. 

“Man, I’m so glad you’re here, Leslie just about cornered me there and I didn’t know how to get away.” Billy laughed, both at the expression of relief on Steve’s face and the relief that washed over him knowing that Steve hadn’t wanted to talk to Leslie. 

“Glad I could come and save you,” Billy said, feeling suddenly nervous as Steve stared at him with a big smile. 

“You’re a lifesaver.”

Billy smiled wider, “Well I was a lifeguard back in Cali, so you know, it’s what I do…” Billy trailed off at the end suddenly feeling like that was a stupid thing to say. Steve didn’t seem to think it was stupid though because he threw his arm around Billy’s shoulder and began leading them to the living room.

“Come on Billy, let’s go get drunk and watch people look stupid while they dance.” Billy let himself be led through the house under Steve’s arm, his skin was on fire and he felt warm. Which was in actuality probably because there were so many warm bodies in the space but in that moment he was positive it was because he was trapped under Steve Harrington’s arm. They wandered past the kitchen on their way and each grabbed more booze. Billy watched as Steve sloppily poured himself a rum and coke that was definitely more rum than coke. “You want some?” Steve asked him, his voice loud even though they were standing close together. 

Billy shook his head, “Nah, I’ll just have another beer. “

Steve nodded along to the beat of the music as he topped off his plastic cup with a splash of coke and then they migrated to the living room. Several members of the team came up and asked about the big game next week. A bunch of underclassman girls who probably had no place being at this party came over and asked both of them to dance but thankfully the girls were young enough that they both had a good excuse to write them off. Billy was thankful to keep Steve by his side. Steve made two or three more trips to the kitchen, each time bringing Billy more booze. Billy honestly lost track of how many trips Steve made, only knew that he couldn’t say no to anything that Steve brought him. 

He only knew that on one of Steve’s trips to the kitchen he had gotten sucked into a conversation with a girl who slid onto the couch beside him. She was the year below him and was wearing a low cut top. She was going out of her way to lean into him and show off exactly what her shirt was barely hiding. Billy was trying to be polite, there was no reason to outwardly crush this poor girl by being mean, but he desperately wanted to leave. He startled when he felt two hands clap down onto his shoulders, he titled his head up to see who it was. 

“Billy!” Steve yelled. “We gotta get going, Tommy wants to see us.” With that Billy was able to excuse himself and jump up from the couch. He did so and was handed another beer by Steve.

“What does Tommy want?” Billy asked curiously because he was pretty sure he’d seen Tommy and Carol heading upstairs an hour earlier. 

Steve gave him a sly smile. “Oh he’s totally upstairs banging Carol right now, I just said that to save you from that jailbait.” Billy wanted to kiss Steve, like more than he normally did. 

“You’re my hero dude.”

Steve chuckled, “who's the lifesaver now? Come on, let’s head out back, I want a smoke and you’ve got cigarettes.”

The two pushed through the back door and walked out into the backyard. “Hmm Harrington, I never said you could have one of my smokes.”

“But I just saved your ass, so I deserve one.”

“I don’t know if that’s enough for a whole cigarette.”

“Oh come on, can’t I just get one for having a pretty face.” Billy was glad it was dark out because he was definitely blushing. Billy would give Steve anything in the world precisely because of how pretty his face was. But he tried hard to play it off. 

“You drive a hard fucking bargain Harrington. I’ll give you a cigarette to shut up.”

“Whatever works for me,” Steve said, reaching out his hand for the cigarette. Billy handed it to him, barely seeing him in the dim light coming from the house behind them. Billy lit up Steve’s smoke and then one for himself before heading over to a rocking porch swing. Steve plopped down beside him and exhaled a lungful of smoke. 

“I’m glad you came, man, party was way more fun with you.”

Billy’s response was cocky, “I know, I’m the life of the party.”

The two were quiet for a few minutes save for the inhalation and exhalation of the cigarette smoke. “I’m glad you apologized Billy, you’re actually a cool dude when you’re not being an asshole.”

Billy chuckled, “Thanks...I think.”

“No dude it’s such a compliment. I don’t know why you’ve been spending so much time at Hopper’s but you’ve been so much nicer since then. I’m not trying to pry or anything I’m just saying I’m glad you’re not as much of an asshole anymore cause you’re good at basketball and I like being friends with you.” Steve was a rambly and apparently very complimentary drunk. Billy felt warm inside just as much as he felt awkward about the compliments and the feelings being shared. 

“Yeah I’m glad we’re friends too,” Billy said, his voice quiet as he tried to hide a lot of the emotions he was feeling. Steve suddenly shifted in the chair, turning so that he was face to face with Billy. 

“Billy?”

“Harrington?”

“I’m pretty drunk right now and you might punch me in the face for this, but I gotta do something.”

Billy was confused, “what are you--” Billy was cut off by lips crashing into his. Steve Harrington kissed him. It was brief, barely lasting three seconds before the other boy pulled away from him. Even though the light was dim, Billy looked forward and saw wide eyes staring back at him. Wide eyes full of fear. The two were silent. Billy had no idea what to think let alone say. 

“Are you gonna punch me?” Steve asked in a voice as quiet as a whisper that shook ever so slightly. Billy breathed deeply, his senses coming back to him just a bit more. 

“Steve, I’ll punch you if you don’t kiss me again.”

Billy thinks Steve smiled but he didn’t know for sure because before he knew it, hands reached out and tangled in his hair and pulled him in. Steve’s lips met Billy’s again and after that he was gone. He was lost in Steve Harrington.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know...cliffhangers are not fun. However! I am going to make it up to you guys by making this chapter a two parter, that's right. The next chapter will also be from Billy's P.O.V. So buckle up. 
> 
> Also, my editor extraordinaire is forcing me to write this and say that she got very flustered by this chapter and that she would like to be acknowledged more. So here you go, I'm writing this as we skype.
> 
> Please note: The rating of this fic has been changed to Mature in anticipation of future chapters. ;)


	15. Are You Gonna Punch Me Pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which two boys kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: Graphic depictions of physical and verbal child abuse.
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Billy had been kissed before. He’d made out with several girls, mostly at parties in order to keep up appearances. But in a total contradiction to his reputation, Billy Hargrove was a virgin. He’d fooled around with girls but never gone all the way, it usually was never able to get to that point even if he had wanted to. His reputation preceded him and he was a natural flirt so people just made assumptions. Assumptions that involved him banging half the female student body of the school. It was just lucky enough that none of them actually talked to each other and shared the fact that not much beyond making out or a quick hand job had ever happened. 

This fact was somewhat embarrassing to Billy, it was definitely not something he would ever admit to. Not when all of his teammates were banging cheerleaders and basically any girl they wanted. But it wasn’t a girl that Billy wanted and he couldn’t have a boy so that left him with his virginity intact at the age of seventeen. 

Steve Harrington on the other hand had a reputation that was backed up by a lot of hard evidence. Billy had heard all the rumours and of course seen first hand the way girls hung around him, wanting him to pick them. Steve had notoriously dated Nancy Wheeler, but before her there had been a list of exploits and broken hearts. He didn’t know much about the girls that came after Nancy, since it was pretty well known that she had kind of fucked him up. But the bottom line was that Steve Harrington was one of the most obviously heterosexual men in Hawkins, Indiana. 

And he was making out with Billy. 

Which made no sense. 

Not that it making sense mattered to Billy in that moment because he was completely caught up in just how right it felt to be kissing Steve Harrington. How right it felt to be kissing someone with hard muscles, with strong hands that held onto him, with a bulge that felt obscene pressed against his leg. Because somehow Steve was almost straddling him, had moved so far into his space so that Billy could feel all of him. And Billy did. Finally free to do so, his hands roamed over the smooth skin of Steve’s back, under his tshirt. He didn’t know if he was dreaming or if he’d ever get to do this again in that moment so he felt everything he could. He let his hands tangle in that beautiful head of hair, and let himself moan into the kiss. Because kissing Steve felt like the most right thing in the world. 

And Steve was kissing him back, his tongue swiping over Billy’s lips and entering his mouth. He was leading the kiss and Billy was so happy to be led. Steve’s hands were all over him, making his skin tingle everywhere that he touched. His scalp from where Steve held onto his hair and his chest from where Steve’s hand slid across his skin. Billy felt electric and alive and so turned on he thought he might explode. He’d never felt like this before and it was dizzying. He didn’t want to have to breathe. Didn’t want to have to pull away from Steve and take in oxygen but his lungs would not allow him to avoid it any longer. He had to pull away. His hands rested on Steve’s chest, his pupils were blown wide. His breath was deep and ragged. From what he could make out, Steve looked much the same. 

The two just sat there staring at each other in the dark, with their hands still on one another. Neither knew what to say or do. The enormity of their situation was just hitting them. They were two boys who had just kissed. They were two boys who were friends who had just kissed. They were two boys who were friends who had just kissed and they both wanted to kiss each other again. Finally Billy let out the only word that could really capture what he felt in that moment. “Fuck.”

“Yeah.” Steve said in response. Steve was silent for a moment before he spoke again. “You’re not freaking out are you?”

Billy thought about his question for a second. He figured he probably should be freaking out. He had just kissed a boy and that boy was Steve Harrington and none of this made sense. But he really wasn’t freaking out, he felt more calm than he had in a really long time. Maybe he wasn’t freaking out because it just felt good, it felt right. Suddenly all the thoughts of how it was wrong to be a boy who kissed boys flew out of his mind because this feeling he felt right now, this feeling was the best feeling in the world and it could never be wrong. 

“No...no I’m not freaking out. Are you freaking out?”

Steve shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. I mean I’m the one who kissed you. I’ve wanted to for a while.”

Billy couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “But I punched you in the face, you thought I was gonna punch you again.”

“I never said my dick was rational.” Billy snorted, which was kind of embarrassing but he didn’t even care.

Billy leaned forward to ghost his lips over Steve’s, “Thank Christ for your irrational dick.” He leaned into kiss Steve again because he could. Out here in the cold and the dark behind Tommy H’s house, he could kiss Steve. He wanted to spend the rest of his life out here. Just Billy and Steve in the dark, with the dim light and the faint sound of music in the background. He wanted to live in their own separate private world where they could just kiss for the rest of their lives. But a thought ruined his happiness pretty quickly. 

“Shit, what time is it?”

Steve looked down at his fancy ass watch with the brown leather band. “I don’t know, I can’t really see.” Steve held it up higher trying to see it well enough to differentiate between the hour and the minute hand. “I think it’s a little after eleven.”

“Fuck fuck fuck. I gotta go, curfew, my dad.”

Billy was freaking out internally. He just knew that his dad was probably already home. Knew that he was in for a treat when he got home. Billy stood abruptly, jolting Steve. “Um, yeah. Sorry I have to leave. I’ll see you at school on Monday okay?”

Steve nodded. “Yeah of course, see you then.” 

It was an awkward goodbye, the spell of ease under which they’d languidly made out for several minutes was broken. Billy walked away with a wave and felt so fucking stupid. But he didn’t have long to feel that way because it was soon replaced by the dread of what awaited him at home. He’d fucked up. He drove home slowly, with each minute passing leaving his muscles more tense. He pulled quietly into the driveway. There was a single light on in the house, in the living room. Billy wanted nothing but to run away. Run back to Steve. But he couldn’t run away from his own house. He sat for a moment, resolving himself to face whatever was about to happen before stepping out the car. He walked slowly up the house, got to the base of the stairs that led up to the front porch. There were only five stairs. Neil stood at the top of them. 

“Finally made it home, I see.” His tone was too light, it was deceiving. Billy knew better than to be deceived. “You have fun at your party?”

Billy immediately went on the defensive. It was probably a futile tactic but one he had to try nonetheless. “I’m sorry sir, I only meant to drop by for an hour or so and Max said she was fine. Time just got away from me.” That was one way to put kissing Steve Harrington. 

Billy’s father held up a hand to silence him. “I don’t want to hear your excuses son. They’re a waste of my time. Come up here,” He said motioning for Billy to come up the stairs to stand next to him. Billy forced himself to move forward, to take each stair one at a time until he was standing beside his father. He was prepared to be hit, punched, yelled at. But he hadn’t been prepared for the strong and swift hand that came out and pushed him back down the stairs. Sent him flying through the chilled night air to the concrete walkway below, where he landed on his side, barely able to catch himself. The whole left side of his body was stinging with pain. 

Then Neil was standing in front of him. Then he was kicking him in the stomach, in the ribs. Billy curled in on himself trying to block the blows to his body. His father yelled, his voice angry but not very loud. “You worthless piece of shit. You disobey me, you leave your young sister unattended, all for a party. You are a fucking disappointment, that’s what you are. I don’t even know why I try with you anymore.” When he was done speaking he landed one more swift kick to Billy’s face, hitting his left cheek. “I’ll leave the door unlocked. You can come in when the lesson has really sunk in. You will be in bed by morning, Susan’s making pancakes and you’re expected to be at breakfast.” With that Billy was left alone in the cold and dark on the ground. 

Hot tears spilled from his eyes, more from the sting of the words than the actual kicks. He felt his midsection, the skin that barely an hour earlier Steve had been caressing. He moved slightly and felt a twinge but he was pretty sure none of his ribs were broken. Bruises he could handle. His hand flew to his cheek, the one that was still stinging from his father’s boot. He held his cheek gently as he cried. He cried thinking about how soft Steve’s hand had felt when he held Billy’s face and kissed him. It had felt safe. He cried because it had been worth it. It was worth this pain to have kissed Steve. But he was so alone in that moment. He was so alone and he just wanted to feel that sense of safety again. 

It was almost an hour before he was able to pull himself up and carry his heavy and weary body into the house. He locked the front door behind him and trudged as quietly as possible to his bedroom. He stopped just short of the door though, because standing in the hallway was Max. She was wide eyed. She spoke in a scared sounding whisper. “Are you alright, do you need anything?”

Billy didn’t have the mental energy for this plot twist. “Go to bed, Max,” he spoke, his voice both quiet and stern. 

“Billy I swear, I didn’t tell, I tried to cover, I--”

“Max!” Billy bit back, his tone sharp. 

“Go. to. bed.” She finally seemed to get the message and slinked back into her room, quietly clicking her door shut. It was only then that Billy could step into his room, shut the door, and gently lay down in his bed, clothes and all. He was too tired to move, too sad to take off his clothes, and too emotionally exhausted by the whiplash of emotions this day had been to care about any of it. He tried to fall asleep, but ultimately he just laid there the entire night trying to remember what Steve’s lips felt like against his own. It was his one happy thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of writing an upcoming chapter from Steve's P.O.V. mostly to share his side of the story and his own sexual awakening journey (i.e. Bi panic). Let me know if you guys are in favor of this (my editor really wants this to happen lol, so don't let them down).


	16. Where Would the Fun Be in That?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hopper being the supportive dad Billy deserves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopper's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: Brief references to child abuse. 
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Sunday’s were supposed to be relaxing, but driving around four young teenagers who were all talking over one another about some nerdy board game wasn’t the most relaxing. Hopper was relieved to drop them all off at the Wheeler kid’s house so they could go play said nerdy game. Wheeler had been gone for two days at some funeral out of town and so they were all more anxious than normal to get to it. As soon as the kids were out of the car Hopper switched the radio over to music he actually liked and lit up a cigarette, since he didn’t smoke with kids in the car. 

It was a little after twelve and he didn’t have much else planned for the day, but that was fine by him. It had been a busy week at work with three car accidents and four drunken arrests, one of them having been the same guy twice. Hopper was happy to have the house to himself so he could relax in front of the TV and actually hear it instead of having to strain to hear it over the sound of Madonna coming from Jane’s room. He was happy to have an afternoon ahead of him with no plans. However, his hopes of reclining in his chair and taking a nap went out the window when he pulled into the driveway and saw Billy Hargrove sitting hunched over on his front steps. 

Billy made no move to sit up from where he sat bent over with his head in his hands. Hopper quickly approached him, suddenly very concerned. He silently hoped this wasn’t what he thought it was. But that hope went out the window when Billy finally sat up and he saw the dark bruise on his left cheek which had swollen causing his eye to partly close. Hopper let out a breath to calm himself, because he was angry enough in that moment to go give Neil Hargrove something far worse than he’d done to Billy. Hopper was about to say something but was cut off by Billy.

“Don’t.” Billy said, his voice sounding quiet and tired. Hopper understood the look on his face but he couldn’t help but try to say more. 

“Billy, this isn’t okay. You need to let me help you.”

Billy’s face contorted with anger as he listened to Hopper’s words. Hopper was taken aback by the sudden shift in behavior. “It’s my fault, okay. I was supposed to stay home and watch Max but I didn't. I went to a party and got home too late. I disobeyed the rules and I got hit, I deserved it. Don’t act like you know shit about my life.” Hopper knew he needed to immediately diffuse the situation.

“You’re right Billy, I don’t know everything about your situation. But you should know that no one deserves to get hit.”

Billy’s anger seemed to dissolve a bit and his face relaxed. His hand shook slightly as he pulled out and lit a cigarette. Hopper took the opportunity to sit down beside him on the steps. “I don’t mean to lecture you kid, I just want you to be safe.”

Billy exhaled a lungful of smoke before he spoke. “No, I mean I get that. I get it. It’s just complicated.”

Hopper nodded and figured it wasn’t a bad idea to try and pivot the conversation into a lighter and safer territory. Which, after giving it a moment of thought, he figured maybe this wasn’t actually much safer territory but it was something he wanted to bring up nonetheless. 

“I wanted to talk to you about something.” Hopper began, trying to remember all the things Joyce had said so eloquently so he could try and repeat them. “I just wanted to say that you can talk about it to me, you know the gay thing. It’s kind of new to me and outside of my wheelhouse but I want you to know that I support you and if you need someone to talk to about it that I will be there.” 

Hopper felt himself rushing a little towards the end as he tried to overcome some of the awkwardness he felt about bringing the subject up. The look on Billy’s face almost made him laugh. It was an odd combination between amused and embarrassed. Billy brought his hand up to his face, almost as if he was trying to hide. “Oh God, ok thanks Jesus, we do not need to talk about it.”

“I just want you to feel free to talk about if you want to or need to. I don’t think it’s good to bottle this type of stuff up inside.” Hopper added on, with a smirk on his face in amusement at Billy’s reaction. “I’m just looking out for you kid.”

Billy’s expression softened a bit and he seemed to calm down a bit more, the kid always looked so wound up. “I know, thank you. For looking out for me. Hell, I’d probably be dead if it weren’t for you and no one’s ever been cool about any of this stuff before.”

Hopper felt emotional when he thought about how close a call it had been. How fate had lined up perfectly that night to allow him to save Billy from his own destruction. If he had been only a minute later he might have missed him. Might have pulled onto the scene and found Billy’s car there with no Billy to be found. He shuddered to think about that. Shuddered to think that the boy sitting beside him was so close to not being here at all, instead he could have been at the bottom of the quarry. 

“I’m happy you’re still here Billy. I want you to know that there are people in your life that are happy you’re alive and would miss you if you weren’t. Maybe you didn’t feel that way before, but things are different now. You’ve got Jane and I and I think you’ve made a pretty good friend in Harrington.”

Billy wasn’t really looking at him as he spoke, was instead staring ahead and working his way quickly down to the filter of his cigarette. At the mention of Harrington’s name his cheeks reddened and Hopper had to bite back the comment that formed in his mind. But he figured that was a can of worms he shouldn’t open with Billy right now. He filed that thought away and changed the subject by asking about the game that was coming up this week. Billy was happy enough to go on about their chances against their rival school and Hopper was happy to let him have some distraction. 

Much of the afternoon passed in this manner, the two trading casual conversation while chain smoking on the front steps. Hopper glanced down at his watch and had to stall their conversation. “I’m sorry Billy, I have to go pick up Jane from the Wheeler’s house, so I’ve got to get going.”

Billy nodded in understanding. “Yeah I have to go pick Max up. It’s fine.” Hopper watched as Billy reached out to grab the handrail to pull himself up and let out a hiss of pain as he did so, clutching at his side with his other hand. Hopper immediately reached out to help him, Billy tried to shake him off. 

“I’m fine.”

“Are your ribs hurt?” Hopper asked, purposefully leaving out his question of whether this was Neil’s work. This was both because the answer was painfully obvious and because it would just further upset Billy to hear it spoken. 

“Just some bruising, they’re not broken.” Hopper bit his tongue upon hearing this because there was an obvious reason why Billy knew the difference between what a bruised and broken rib felt like and he couldn’t bear to think of that right now. 

Hopper’s mouth was set in a fine line. He was so torn in that instant, torn between wanting to protect this boy and respecting Billy’s wishes. Legally, Hopper could just arrest Neil right now, but unless Billy followed through and pressed charges nothing would stick. Hopper’s hands were tied because he was fairly certain that there was no way Billy had it in him right now to press charges against his own father. It was hard for kids who are abused by their parents to turn them in because they feel a sense of love and loyalty even though they’re being hurt. Hopper knew he had to walk this thin line with Billy. But he wanted nothing more than to throw Neil Hargrove into a cell, lock the door, and throw away the key. 

“Billy.” Hopper huffed out, making it clear in his tone exactly what he was thinking. 

“Hop.” Billy said, his voice slightly confrontational. Hopper just sighed. He had to let this go right now because this wasn’t the time or place for that particular conversation.

“Come on kid, let’s go pick up the rugrats.”

Billy walked beside him across the driveway to their respective cars. Hopper ended up following Billy the entire drive to the Wheeler’s house and pulled up beside him in their driveway while they waited for the kids to come out. Hopper rolled down his window and motioned for Billy to do the same. 

“You know kid, you should at least try to follow the speed limit when you have the chief of police following you.” Hopper shouted over to Billy. Billy just met him with a cocky smirk on his face. 

“Where would the fun be in that?” Billy questioned.

Hopper just shook his head in faked exaggeration. This was when Jane and Max came spilling out of the front door and each ran to their car. Hopper gave Billy a final wave and groaned to himself as he heard the sound of the camaro’s engine revving as Billy sped away in the opposite direction. Billy had shown a lot of change in a short amount of time, but the speeding issue Hopper might have to admit to be a lost cause.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo, I have decided to write a chapter from Steve's P.O.V. and it shall be the next one! I'm really excited to write about a bunch of things from his perspective and share some of his thoughts on everything. All I have to do is write it, because I have not done any of it yet lol, wish me luck. But I have the day off from work tomorrow so hopefully I can get it done.


	17. Face Punches and a Bisexual Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's side of the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve's P.O.V.
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Steve Harrington knew what it felt like to get punched in the face as it had happened to him several times throughout his life. The first time he’d been punched in the face he was twelve years old and he got into a fight in gym class. He barely remembered what the argument leading up to it had been about but the kid had pulled back his arm and before Steve knew it he was on the ground with a bloody nose. That kid had a surprising right hook for a preteen. After that, he went several years without incident. There had been some conflicts throughout high school that had led to physical altercations, but Steve was a much more active participant in these. 

Above all, the most memorable incident had been when Billy Hargrove punched him in the face. It was perhaps so memorable because he hadn’t just been punched, he’d also gotten a plate broken over his head. That had hurt a lot. He had been watching the kids during one of their Dungeons and Dragons sessions because Joyce had been unexpectedly called to cover a shift at work. It had been all well and good until Billy roared in and demanded that Max come with him. He was ranting and raving about how they needed to get home but it was clear to Steve that Billy had been drinking and he didn’t feel comfortable letting Max into the car with him, so he’d said no. This had set Billy off and led to one of the more painful nights of his life. He’d been pretty bruised and bloody afterwards. It would have been worse if not for Max’s quick thinking with a baseball bat. There was a slight indignity to having to be saved by a thirteen year old girl, but mostly Steve was just grateful it ended without something worse happening. 

Hopper quickly found out about the incident and was livid, more angry than Steve was by a longshot. Hopper had wanted him to press charges and have Billy arrested for assault, but Steve couldn’t bring himself to do that. Not that it wasn’t tempting in the moment but he had heard some stuff from Max about their home life and how it wasn’t the best. That information, coupled with his other feelings about Billy complicated the situation enough that he refused anytime Hopper brought it up even though it made the man angry. It was a complicated situation, made all the more complicated because Steve was trying really hard, but failing miserably, to repress the growing crush he had on Billy Hargrove. 

Steve Harrington liked girls, he loved girls. But he was pretty sure he’d kind of always had crushes on guys too, he just hadn’t called them that growing up. There was the way, all throughout middle school, that he’d repeatedly get really close to one single guy friend at a time. And during this time, he’d want to do everything with this friend, and buy them gifts, and want to hang out all the time. In his mind this was all normal best friend stuff. But as he grew older he was able to realize some of the deeper emotions behind his actions. One wet dream about a guy might be a coincidence and doesn’t mean anything. But several a week for several years, might just mean something. This something was a thing that Steve refused to acknowledge for a really long time. 

And it was pretty easy not to acknowledge because he loved girls. Girls were attracted to him and it was easy to find girls to hook up with and to go on dates with. After losing his virginity at the age of fifteen it had been a pretty steady stream of conquests. It was easy and fun and maybe most important of all, it let him not think about the feelings he had for Patrick Swayze the entire time he’d watched The Outsiders. This weird attraction to boys he figured was just jealousy over the way they looked since most of the men he found attractive and had dreams about were famous actors. It was disconnected so it didn’t have to be real. That disconnect was shattered the second Billy Hargrove moved to town. 

From the moment Billy came roaring into the school parking lot on his first day blasting Scorpions Steve had been hooked. He’d been across the parking lot talking to a girl named Susy from his biology class when he saw him. First, it had been Susy who turned to look at the new kid, who had asked, “Who’s that?” Steve looked up just in time to see him get out of the camaro and strut across the parking lot to the building in those butt hugging denim jeans and the matching jacket. Susy made some comment about him but Steve didn’t even hear what she said. He was so distracted because the new kid was perhaps the most gorgeous man he’d ever set his eyes on. He was equally as hot as Patrick Swayze but he was real and right in front of him. 

Of course his opinion on the new kid changed pretty quickly when he actually met him. Billy was cocky and arrogant, he went to work quickly climbing the social hierarchy of the school to rest at the top. He was an incredible basketball player so all the jocks in the school respected him. He was constantly flirting with girls and they seemed to hang off his every word. Billy also, for no apparent reason, had a personal grudge against him. Steve was generally unbothered by the verbal taunts that Billy would rain down on him in practice and in the hallways between classes. They were juvenile and annoying, but easy enough to ignore. But in practice Billy seemed to go out of his way to torment him by blocking his passes, faking him out, and trying everything to knock him down. 

All the while Steve couldn’t help but stare at the guy in the locker room before and after practice. Because even though the guy was a total ass, his ass was amazing and Steve couldn’t help but sneak in glances when he could. His desire to stare at this guy's ass made him panic because these emotions had never been about someone in his actual life before. His continued sex dreams about Patrick Swayze were one thing, but he actually got to see Billy’s dick in the shower and that had added a whole new layer to things. Being sexually attracted to someone who was horrible to you was one thing, and then add onto that the fact that the person you’re sexually attracted to is a guy. This left Steve confused and silently hoping that this was something he could get over. He went out of his way to hook up with girls to try and forget about Billy Hargrove with his perfect ass, beautiful hair, and that singular earring that only he could pull off. 

Things had only gotten more complicated for Steve when seemingly out of nowhere Billy Hargrove apologized to him. They’d been at the same party and Steve had heard through the grapevine that Billy was there but he hadn’t seen him all night. He wasn’t actively searching for Billy, at least that’s what Steve told himself, but when he found him on the back patio he had wanted to strike up a conversation. Something had changed between them after their scuffle at Hopper’s. Billy hadn’t punched him back, and although he threw the first punch, Steve was aware that he had been purposefully egging him on. Steve had felt compelled to apologize for his part in the incident, because he felt bad for instigating Billy. The apology had arisen from some playful banter between the two but Steve was very motivated to have all of that behind him. If Billy was willing to finally admit that he had been wrong and apologize, then Steve was more than happy to accept it. 

It turned out that being friends with Billy Hargrove was actually really fun. Not only did being friends with him remove the horrible taunting and physical jabs from his daily life, but the guy was actually funny. Billy was sarcastic, witty, and could actually be nice when he tried. The way they worked together on the basketball court had been revolutionized by their friendship and Steve was playing a better game than he ever had before. There was a lot Steve had gotten to know about Billy in the first month of their new friendship. He hated pop music, loved greasy food, and was in mostly advanced classes. The last one was a surprise to him but kind of explained why they didn’t have any classes together. 

Friendship with Billy had brought a lot of positive things into his life. But it didn’t make his feelings for Billy any easier to deal with. Instead, his feelings just continued to develop into what was now basically a full on crush. The more he got to know Billy on a personal level, the more into him he became. And even though it defied all logic, he sometimes got similar energy from Billy. Billy was aggressively masculine, he liked rock music, smoked, drank, swore, and was constantly surrounded by girls. There was no world in which this guy was into men at all. But there were looks, quick and fleeting, when Billy thought Steve wasn’t paying attention. It was just a feeling but it began to make sense to him in some weird way. 

Then Steve had gotten drunk, which was always when he made his best decisions. Billy and him were at the party together and keeping pace with their drinking pretty well, but it was pretty obvious that Billy handled his alcohol better than Steve. Before he knew it they were outside and alone and smoking cigarettes, a bad habit that Steve had pretty much picked up again thanks to Billy. Steve was feeling the buzz of the alcohol and it was making him even more sentimental than usual which led to him sharing with Billy that he was happy they were friends now. 

Even though it was pretty dark outside that night Steve felt this energy between the two of them in that moment. In the cold and dark he felt warm and alight inside, sitting there in comfortable conversation with Billy. Which led him to making what could have been a very dangerous decision. He decided he wanted to kiss Billy immediately. “I’m pretty drunk right now and you might punch me in the face for this, but I gotta do something.”

Billy had started to speak, had seemed confused for a second and then Steve was doing it. He leaned in and touched his lips to Billy’s. It was extremely brief, Steve pulled away quickly in anticipation of another blow to the face. He fully expected to be punched in the face, he stared at Billy, eyes wide with fear that he’d made a horrible drunk decision. “Are you gonna punch me?” Steve asked, fully expecting the answer to that question to be a fist. Instead, he got the most shocking and unexpected response to that question. 

“Steve, I’ll punch you if you don’t kiss me again.”

Those were the best words Steve had ever heard in his life and all the permission he needed to reach out and tangle his fingers into those golden curls he’d been dreaming about for months. Billy’s lips crashed back into his and it was the best kiss of his life. The hard lines and solid muscle of the man in his arms was intoxicating and Steve couldn’t help but move further into his space, so he was just about straddling him. The newness of the experience coupled with the thought that this was not what he was supposed to be doing drove him crazy, he was more turned on than he could ever remember feeling before. All the panic and shame he’d felt about his feelings towards guys in the past seemed to melt away in that moment as he realized that this feeling was not a bad thing at all. The way he felt kissing Billy Hargrove was so right. 

Billy unfortunately had to leave quite suddenly because he had to be home in time for curfew which Steve tried to be understanding about but was disappointed nonetheless. He wouldn’t get to see Billy again until Monday afternoon at practice and how would that go? With girls it was easy, and obvious, and above all socially acceptable to be together and affectionate in public. But this was completely unchartered territory, made all the more uncertain because he had no idea how Billy would react. Billy had been very much into what they were doing, that was obvious. But maybe he’d freak out and be angry, or become distant and not want to be friends anymore. This unknown left Steve freaking out over the course of the next day, even more so than the fact that he definitely wanted to kiss him again. Of course he didn’t want anyone to know about it, but he had a lot in his mind that he wanted to explore with Billy and he just hoped he hadn’t fucked things up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was kind of experimental but I'm kind of obsessed with it. Maybe I have some favoritism for Steve as a fellow bisexual person but he's so precious and I love him forever. I'm aware this chapter doesn't move the plot along, but I really enjoyed sharing Steve's perspective on some of the events that have happened. Let me know what you guys think of this chapter and if I should do some more chapter's from Steve's POV and include some more plot driven chapters from his perspective. Thanks!


	18. Basketball and Flirting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boys flirt over basketball ft. An author who knows nothing about sports so please bear with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy's P.O.V. 
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Billy was relieved to wake up on Monday morning and find that the swelling that had partially closed his left eye had gone down far enough so he could see properly. It sucked enough going to school again in the same month with a bruised face, but at least he could see. Sometimes he had to be grateful for the small things. The big thing he was worried about was seeing Steve at practice tonight. He had absolutely no idea what the protocol was after kissing the guy you have a crush on at a party. He desperately wanted to see Steve again, wanted to talk to him about it and make sure he was still cool with it, make sure he wasn’t freaking out now or worse yet, gonna say something to someone about it. Billy was pretty sure he wouldn’t say something since he was an active participant in the kiss but being found out about was a near constant fear. 

Billy was extremely anxious about seeing Steve the entire day, so anxious he’d skipped out of his midday study hall for an extra smoke break because his nerves were on edge. The only thing that could calm his mind at all was a quick smoke out in his car. English was one of his best classes, but when called on to discuss some of the larger themes of Catch-22, Billy blanked completely even though he’d read it the day before. It was his last class of the day before he’d be in the locker room with Steve Harrington, which was exciting and anxiety inducing at the same time. The larger issue was that they’d be surrounded by their teammates so it wasn’t as though they could have a proper discussion or act like anything was out of the norm. 

When the bell rang signaling the end of the school day, in contradiction to his usual hurry to practice, Billy took his time gathering his notebook, folder, and book and walking to his locker to gather what he needed to take home. As he made his way across the school to where the locker room was he tried to adopt an air of confidence and nonchalance despite the fact that he was not feeling that way at all. He took a final breath before entering the locker room and propelled his feet to carry him inside. He had to walk past a few rows of lockers to where the H’s were assigned, and it was there that he saw him. Harrington had his back to Billy, he was fumbling around in his locker for his practice jersey. He was shirtless but had already put on his shorts, which Billy was mostly thankful for because he was unsure of his ability to remain calm around Harrington’s bare ass right now. 

He was about to step forward and begin unlocking his own locker when Harrington spun around and saw him standing there. There was a moment of awkwardness that hung in the air before Steve spoke. “Hey Billy, how’s it going?”

And just like that, the awkwardness that hung between them broke and everything was fine. The nervousness that had been plaguing Billy throughout the day dispelled as he realized it was just Steve. He didn’t need to make such a big deal about this. Billy smiled and was happy to get one in return from Steve. “I’m good, ready to get to work. We have a few things we need to polish out as a team before the big game on Friday.”

Steve nodded in agreement. “Yeah I agree. Will you help me work on some defensive skills today?”

Billy nodded but had to bite back a smile as he went to work throwing on his practice uniform. Was Harrington just asking him for help on some of these moves because they involved getting close and personal? This practice seemed like it would be both Billy’s heaven and hell. Heaven because apparently Steve just wanted to coyly flirt and use this as an excuse to touch him way more than usual. Hell because Billy was unsure he had it within him to not immediately pop a boner if Steve went out of his way to touch and flirt with Billy during their practice runs. 

Out on the court they separated for their warm up, Steve was ahead of him as they jogged around the gym several times. He was definitely staring at his ass and he didn’t bother to hide that fact at all the few times Steve peaked back at him. He just smiled and stared ahead. Then they divided up and began working on specific skills they needed to improve on. Closing in on Steve and trying to block his shots was not something new for Billy, he’d done this move a hundred times before. It was kind of a classic for him. But this is the first time that Steve smiled and leaned into him, shot him these flirty eyes, and totally took advantage of the fact that Billy was distracted and got the shot past him. Billy wasn’t even mad because watching Steve celebrate his basket while he stood there and tried to catch his breath was a beautiful site. 

The two purposefully showered in separate areas which Billy was grateful he didn’t have to go out of his way to do. Because after that practice he was riled up and he just knew he could not take the site of Steve, naked and wet, right in front of him at that moment. Back at their lockers the two did what most of the guys did and turned away from one another while they changed. Once they were dressed, they walked out of the locker room side by side, neither of them saying anything. Steve followed Billy to his camaro, which was across the parking lot. The parking lot was mostly empty by now and any cars that were left were far from them. It was the first time they’d had any sort of privacy that day. 

“You think you got enough defensive practice in today?” Billy asked, his voice tinged with underlying emotions. 

Steve's smile was coy and obviously flirty. It made Billy want to do so many things. “God I don’t know, I might need more help later.”

“Well I’m actually a pretty good teacher, so you know I might be able to help you.”

“That’s very kind of you.”

“I’m a pretty chivalrous guy, what can I say?”

Billy felt intoxicated by their conversation. This was flirting. He was openly flirting with Steve Harrington and Steve was flirting back at him. His heart was hammering in his chest from the sheer excitement of this interaction. 

Steve then grimaced slightly, “I have to go pick up Jane and take her home.” Billy deflated but understood, he had to go pick up Max as well. There was no opportunity for them to ‘practice’ anything tonight. It would have to wait. 

“Will you be watching Jane at Hopper’s tomorrow?” Billy asked, trying to figure out if tomorrow might work. 

“Yeah, I’ll be there for at least an hour or so before Hop gets home.”

Billy nodded excitedly, this could work. “Alright, how about I bring my ball and we can practice in the driveway. Steve’s face lit up and Billy was in awe that this expression was being directed at him. Steve was flirting with him and wanted to spend time with him. This all seemed too good to be true. Something had to give, because things this good just didn’t happen to Billy Hargrove. 

“You’ve got a plan Hargrove.” Steve commented as he lightly touched Billy’s arm for just a moment. Then he was turning around and walking back to his car with a wave. Billy stood there and watched him go because yeah he could stare at that ass if he wanted to. Steve knew he was looking too by the smiling glance back he received. He hopped in his own car and followed Steve to the arcade since they were picking kids up at the same place. Once Max was in his car he sent a small nod to Steve before they sped away from each other in opposite directions. 

He was in a spectacularly good mood because of his day with Harrington. So much so that he told Max she could pick the radio station. She gave him a look of suspicion, like she didn’t believe what she was hearing but was more than happy in the end to flip it to the pop station. And as he sped home to the sound of Madonna singing Crazy for You, he felt on top of the world, like nothing would ever get him down again. Because the boy he had a crush on liked him back and he would get to see him again tomorrow. That was something to look forward to. 

The next day passed by in a blur for Billy, he was so keyed up in anticipation for tonight when he could finally be alone with Steve again. Billy passed by Steve a few times in the hallway between classes and each time Steve smiled as soon as he caught Billy’s eye. And Billy had no idea why Steve would want to give such a joyful look to him of all people. But it was there and it was real and Billy knew he couldn’t take it for granted. He waited in anticipation for practice and Steve, once again made it about a hundred times more fun. Practice flew by and before he knew it he was racing to get Max home so he could drive back out to Hopper’s and see Steve. Making sure to grab his basketball, just in case they did actually want to play some, Billy flew out the front door and sped the entire way there. 

When he finally made it to Hopper’s cabin he was relieved to see the beemer already parked in the driveway. A small part of him had worried that maybe Steve wouldn’t show, that he was being played in some way. But there was no reason to worry because Steve stood waiting for him on the front porch. In fact, as soon as he pulled into the driveway Steve began walking over to his car so that he was waiting right beside him as Billy got out. As soon as Billy closed the door, arms reached out on either side of him and he was closed in against his car. Steve stood in front of him with a playful smirk on his face, his brown eyes stared directly into Billy’s. 

“You made it,” Steve said, his voice soft. 

“Yeah, I decided I better come since you need so much help with basketball. Think of it as a favor for the team,” Billy replied in a sarcastic tone. 

“Oh so you just want to play basketball?” Steve asked teasingly.

“Well I’m open to other suggestions,” Billy said, his voice dropping down an octave. 

Billy stood there and watched as Steve bagan to lean forward, decreasing the few inches of space that remained between them. Billy felt his stomach drop in anticipation of Steve’s lips on his once again. But a thought popped into his head that made him yank his head back away from Steve. “Where’s Jane?”

“She’s on the phone with Mike in her room. She’ll be occupied for at least two hours. They always talk until Mike gets called for dinner.”

Billy was happy to hear that and it was barely a moment after Steve finished talking that his lips crashed into Billy’s. Billy gripped onto Steve’s jacket, wanting to pull him in closer than they already were. He could feel Steve’s finger moving along his neck and into his hair. Billy couldn’t help but moan into the kiss as he felt Steve’s fingers on his scalp. He was completely in Steve’s space and he felt surrounded by the smell of him and the taste of him on his lips. The smell of his expensive cologne was intoxicating, coupled with the sensation of his weight pressed up against Billy, it made him painfully hard, painfully quick. It was almost embarrassing, but he felt that Steve was having a similar issue.   
They stood there making out for several minutes, getting lost in the sensation of one another. It was Steve who pulled away first, his lips parted, face flushed, and eyes hooded lazily. Billy watched as he leaned in so he was close to his ear and felt goosebumps erupt up and down his arms and Steve spoke softly to him. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that again. Seeing you in practice everyday, in those shorts, it drove me crazy.” Steve’s tongue reached out and toyed with Billy’s ear and Billy tipped his head back and groaned with pleasure from both the words Steve had just spoken and the new sensation. 

“Fuck Steve,” Billy moaned out in a voice he barely recognized as his own. Steve wanted him, craved him, and was making him feel better than he ever had before in his life. There were more words Billy wanted to say about how he had felt the same way all week and that he perfectly understood the way Steve had been feeling. But words were lost to him as Steve’s tongue trailed down his neck, the combination of his hot breath and tongue on his skin driving him wild and making him completely forget how to speak coherently. Billy felt so far gone, so lost in everything that was happening that he almost didn’t hear the sound of gravel under tires. But he did hear it, just in time to push Steve away from him. Billy turned in time to see Hopper’s cruiser just come into sight.

Steve looked slightly panicked so Billy stepped forward and took charge of the situation. He quickly straightened out his jacked and hurried to re-tuck his shirt because somehow that had come undone. He ran his finger through his hair to fix it because it was definitely messed up from Steve’s fingers. He watched as Steve hurried to do the same. By the time Hopper had parked and gotten out of his car the two were standing there trying too hard to look casual. Billy fumbled to light a cigarette as Hopper approached the two of them. 

“Hey boys, how’s it going?”

“Not too bad Hop,” Billy spoke. “You’re home early.” Billy stated, trying hard not to let any bitterness seep into his voice. 

“Light day at the office and I’m the boss so I can come home whenever I want. You two getting into any trouble?”

“Not yet, but the day isn’t over,” Billy replied snarkily. 

“That’s not a challenge kid.” Billy laughed and turned in time to see Steve smile. 

“I gotta be heading out, I’ve got a paper due tomorrow but I’ll see you tomorrow Hop. Billy,” He added on at the end as he turned and walked over to his car. Billy stood there feeling sad that Steve was leaving already, he wasn’t sure how well he was hiding how he felt on his face. But he watched as Steve’s car disappeared down the driveway and turned to see Hopper watching him.

“What?” Billy asked, his tone defensive.

“Nothing kid, you staying for dinner or what?”

Billy shrugged and nodded. He followed Hopper inside and had a good time chatting with Hopper and Jane over dinner despite the fact that Hopper had cockblocked his afternoon plans. Later, when he was driving home he couldn’t help but smile as he stared over at the untouched basketball on the seat beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing boys who flirt is my favorite thing ever and I'm so happy we've made it to this part of the story! Thanks for the continued love and support. Your comments mean the world to me.


	19. Six Months Ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hopper remembers his first ever interaction with Billy Hargrove.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopper's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: Brief references to child abuse and suicide. 
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Six months ago: 

It was late on a Saturday night and Hopper was out doing a nightly patrol of the town. He had just stopped at the grocery store before they closed at ten o'clock to grab a snack for the night shift that lay ahead of him. Perks of being the boss was not having to do many of these anymore, but Officer Jeffer’s wife had just had a baby so taking this shift had been a favor. That being said, Hopper didn’t really mind the night shift that much, it could get kind of boring but you didn’t have to worry about too much. He was getting paid to drive around, listen to music, and smoke cigarettes so it could be a lot worse. Jane was staying with Joyce that night, so Hopper wasn’t worried about her at all.

He stopped one car that had a headlight out but just gave them a fix-it ticket. That was the most exciting part of his night for a while. That is, until he passed a car parked on the side of a back road. This was very unusual and Hopper felt compelled to go and check it out. He walked up to the vehicle with his flashlight shining ahead of him, leading the way. He shone the flashlight into the car window to see if anyone was inside and was met with eyes staring back at him. Hopper knocked on the window and motioned for them to roll down their window. 

It took a moment for them to comply, but eventually they rolled down their window. Immediately, all Hopper could smell was booze so that was not a good sign. “What the fuck do you want?” An angry voice asked him. 

“I want you to tell me why you’re sitting here on the side of the road,” Hopper said as his eyes adjusted and he got a better look at the man in the car. What was somewhat unexpected was that the man in the car was clearly a teenager, which just made the smell of booze even worse. Worse yet, the kid in the car was sporting a black eye and a fat lip. Clearly he’d been through something. 

“I’m just hanging out here relaxing. I don’t know why you have to be such a fucking fascist and come at me when I’m not doing anything wrong.”

Hopper sighed and wished he was not dealing with this at the moment. “Kid I need you to get out of the car, you’re clearly in high school and intoxicated.”

Hopper fully expected the kid to put up a fight and try to refuse but shockingly he didn’t. Hopper directed him to exit the car and put his hands on the hood of the car, as was normal procedure. “What’s your name kid?”

“Hargrove,” the kid spit out, clearly angry. 

“Well Hargrove, let me tell you. You’re clearly a minor and you’re drunk and you were in a car. I’m gonna do you a fucking favor tonight and not arrest you because frankly I don’t want to do that paper work. But you’re coming to the station and I’m calling your parents.” Hopper watched as the kid deflated as he spoke. All of that drunken cockiness seemed to leave him as Hopper made him lock up his car and he dragged him over to the cruiser. 

As they made their way back to the station Hopper felt compelled to ask, “How’d you get the busted eye.”

The kid, Hargrove, mumbled as he spoke. “Fight at school.”

“That a regular occurrence?” Hopper asked. 

“Not your fucking business.” Hopper let it drop. It was late and he had to go deal with this kid’s parents which was sure to be a fun time. He escorted the kid into his office and told him to sit across from his desk while he looked up the name Hargrove in the phone book. He easily found the number and dialed the phone. It was never fun to have to call people in the early hours of the morning, but in this job it occasionally had to happen. He waited patiently as the phone rang several times, probably because the ringing had to first wake someone up. A gruff voice answered the phone,”What the hell, it’s two in the morning. Who the fuck is this.” Hopper rubbed his temple and bit back a sigh. Like father like son apparently. 

“Hello sir. This is Chief of Police Jim Hopper. I’m here with your son, he was found drunk and parked in his car on the side of the road. So you need to come and pick him up.”

Hopper almost had to hold the phone away from his ear when the man started going off about how his son was a no good piece of shit. The man almost didn’t even want to come and pick the kid up, had said to throw him in a cell until morning. Hopper argued that it was not the best idea and the man should come and get his kid. The man finally acquiesced and slammed the phone down. Hopper turned and saw that the kid was hunched over in the chair in front of him. He looked miserable as Hopper thought he should because clearly he was in a lot of trouble for what he had done. 

When the man finally arrived, he introduced himself as Neil Hargrove and said that he appreciated Hopper not arresting his son and that he would make sure Billy learned his lesson. Hopper nodded and figured it was for the best. The kid was young and didn’t need all the hassle of an arrest. Hopefully his father would ground him and make sure he learned his lesson somehow. 

Current Day:

Hopper was deep in thought as he drove home on Wednesday night. His mind was caught up in thinking about the night he had brought Billy into the station because he’d found him drunk in his car. It was the first time he had met the kid, although he soon became more familiar with him as he got in more trouble and eventually attacked Harrington. Hopper had a lot of guilt about that night, because he had so much more information about the kid now. Hopper thought he had been doing the right thing by sending Billy home with his father. He wanted the kid to be punished but he shuddered to think what Neil Hargrove thought was appropriate punishment. The kid had already been sporting a black eye and a split lip and Hopper knew now that there was very little chance it had been from a fight at school. 

Knowing Billy as well as he did now, he realized the boy hadn’t looked miserable because he was in trouble. That look had been fear about what his father was likely to do to him and Hopper just hadn’t recognized it. He had been oblivious to the signs and sent a hurt kid home with his angry abuser. The memory of this night weighed heavily on him and although it wasn’t useful to dwell on the past he couldn’t help but be angry at himself for his past mistakes. 

He pulled into his driveway and was actually surprised to see that just Steve’s car was in the driveway. He would have bet money that Billy would also be here tonight, but the camaro was nowhere to be seen. Hopper thought back to yesterday when he’d pulled into the driveway and just shook his head as he walked up to the house. He wasn’t gonna say anything, but he wasn’t fucking born yesterday. 

Steve was sitting in the cramped living room and flipping through channels on the TV when Hopper walked in the door. “Hey kid,” he called out to Steve.

“Hey Hop, what’s going on?”

“Not much. Is Jane still on the phone with Mike?”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure. It’s what she does most days.”

Hopper grimaced. This was not the most fun part of being the father of a teenage girl. He hadn’t been prepared to have to beat boys away from her with a stick. But then Mike Wheeler happened and he figured he might need to step in and slow things down between them a little. They were in eighth grade for fucks sake. 

“Where’s Billy tonight?” Hopper asked, figuring Harrington would know.

“Some family dinner thing, had to be home right after practice.” Hopper just nodded even though he couldn’t help the worried thoughts that popped into his head whenever he thought about Billy having to be at home with that pitiful excuse of a father. 

“Hop?” Steve said as Hopper walked into the living room to sit in his recliner.

“Yeah, Steve?”

“Why does Billy come over here all the time? I mean that day we fought he was stacking wood so I figured maybe he was being punished for something, but he comes over here just to hang out, why is that?”

Hopper’s mind raced as he thought about the exact reason Billy now spent so much time over at his house. When Hopper had first offered up his home address to Billy after finding him about to kill himself, it hadn’t been that thought out of a decision. He just saw this kid in immense pain and wanted to do something despite the fact that he felt largely helpless. The one thing he thought he could offer was a place of refuge. Billy needed a place where he could let his guard down and not have to worry about being hit for the slightest infraction. Some part of Hopper had highly doubted that the kid would take him up on the offer since this was Billy Hargrove they were talking about, he was known to be a difficult person at the best of times. 

But then Billy came over to the house one time, and then a second time. Now he was over at least a couple times a week, whether it be for dinner or even just to annoyingly yell out the answers to Jeopardy before Hopper could finish reading the prompt. Sure, that was annoying but it was also something that he now treasured. Somehow this troubled kid, who at one point had it so bad he wanted to take his own life, was now a near daily fixture in the life of him and his daughter. Billy was funny, sarcastic, and half the time smarter than his own good. He was kind enough to help Jane with her homework and now the two had a running playful argument about Madonna.

But none of this was Hopper’s place to say. He had to respect Billy’s privacy and so even though he wanted to go on about how much Billy had changed in a short amount of time. How despite the odds against him, he was making progress and owning up to his past mistakes. He couldn’t share Billy’s story for him. “I can’t say too much about that because it’s not my story to tell. But Billy isn’t here because he’s being punished for anything. I mean you’re friends with him now so I’m sure you know that he’s changed a lot in the past month or so. But if you want to know more then you’ll have to ask him.”

Steve gave an understanding nod, “Yeah I get that.”

“I’m glad Billy has you as a friend now. You’re a good influence.” Hopper could have swore Steve blushed as little at his words but he chose to ignore that. Soon after, Steve left to head home and Hopper was left to think about how even though he made mistakes in the past he was pretty sure he was doing the right thing now, and that left him feeling assured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This format is a little different than usual but I was really interested in exploring a flashback of the first time Billy and Hopper interacted. Let me know what you think of this style! 
> 
> Something to look forward to...there will be smut in the next chapter so prepare yourselves lol. Story rating has now been changed to explicit.


	20. I Don't Give a Fuck About Your House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Billy gets sentimental about Steve's dick and doesn't care about interior design.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy's P.O.V.
> 
> No CW but this chapter does contain smut so buckle up. 
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Billy tilted his head back and blew out the smoke in his lungs through his nose. He leaned forward and smiled to himself in the mirror as he bounced in place. His crappy old stereo was blasting Metallica, The Four Horseman was one of his favorite songs off of their album Kill ‘Em All and it was pumping him up. He was wearing his favorite maroon colored short sleeve button up, but that name was misleading because the shirt was mostly unbuttoned. Billy felt on top of the world as he jammed out to the music while he finished doing his hair, taking the time to hairspray the few curls near the front that always had a hard time staying in place. 

He grabbed the nicest bottle of cologne he had on his vanity and without thinking about it dabbed some on both of his wrists and slid his hand down the front of his pants to put some on his dick. It was the gentlemanly thing to do. Once he was finished getting ready, he spun around and shook his ass in the mirror, happy with the way his jeans were hugging him in all the right places. He then bent down to study his face closely in the mirror, he watched himself take a puff off of his cigarette and got caught up in the way the end of it glowed hot and orange. He blew out a deep breath of smoke and then winked at himself. He looked hot and he knew it. He felt incredibly confident and almost euphoric when he thought about the night ahead of him. 

He grabbed his leather jacket, checked to make sure he had his pack of smokes, and did one last check of his hair before he bolted out the door. His father and Susan were sitting in the living room watching some game show on TV. He flew past them as quickly as he could, not wanting them to ask where he was going. Their basketball team had just won the game against their rival school and more than half the points were scored by Billy. It was assumed that the team would be celebrating which was correct, the party was at Tommy H’s again this weekend. But that’s not where Billy was going. 

As the last buzzer of the game sounded and everyone jumped up and down to celebrate, Billy’s eyes had met Steve’s. Then in the locker room, where everyone was extra rowdy, hyped up on their win, Steve had slipped a note into Billy’s hand. And while Steve was pulled away into conversation with Tommy H down the row of lockers from them, Billy read the note inviting him over to Steve’s house later tonight. Where they would be alone. When Steve returned to his locker next to Billy’s, he met his eyes and gave him a quick nod to let him know that he would be there. Billy had raced home, trying his best to duck out of conversation with Susan who wanted to congratulate him on the team’s win. He thought it was nice of her and all but he needed to go and do his hair immediately before it dried too much or else his curls wouldn’t look right. 

He felt a little jittery but mostly overwhelming excitement as he raced down the darkened back roads that lead to Harrington’s house. Steve lived on the other side of town in a much newer development filled with bigger and nicer houses than Billy’s. He could almost hear the sound of his heart beating in his chest over the music he had blasting from the radio. In record time he pulled up to the Harrington residence and had to let out a whistle at the size of the place. It must be nice to come from money, he thought to himself.

He checked his hair in the rearview mirror one last time before he stepped out of the car and rushed through the chilly night air up to the front door. He was about to knock on the door but then it opened to reveal Steve standing there. Billy had to stand there for a moment and take in the sight before him, the sight of Steve standing in front of him in a form fitted long sleeve grey polo with thin blue stripes and khakis. Steve was such a fucking prep and Billy was obsessed with him. When Billy was done raking his eyes over Steve’s body he finally met his eyes and blushed because he’d been caught. But he also hadn’t been trying to hide it. Steve’s eyes met his and he was greeted by a warm smile. Steve stepped aside and motioned for Billy to come inside. 

Billy stepped into the foyer and had barely taken in his surroundings before he heard the door close behind him and suddenly Steve was in front of him. “Congratulations on the big win tonight,” Steve said as he wrapped his arms around Billy’s neck. Instinctively, Billy reached out to wrap his arms around Steve’s waist. 

“Well I can’t take all the credit, as I recall you scored a couple of points.” Billy said quickly as his breath became more ragged because all of a sudden there was a tongue trailing along the line of his jaw. 

“You looked so hot out there, so in your element. I love watching you play,” Steve said, his voice deep and low. Steve’s hot breath on Billy’s neck made him feel almost weak in the knees. Steve pulled away from him and stared him in the eyes for a second before he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. “I missed you.”

Billy felt his heart swell in his chest upon hearing these words. It had been three days since they’d last been able to kiss or even really talk with any amount of privacy. Billy’s dad had been on him all week about doing chores around the house so he hadn’t gotten the chance to go to Hopper’s since Tuesday. It had definitely been too long in his mind, but hearing that Steve felt the same way and that he had missed him in that time made him feel incredible. 

“You have no idea…” Billy began to say but trailed off towards the end, suddenly feeling self conscious like maybe he was coming on too strong. But he felt Steve’s fingers curl into his long hair at the base of his neck. He felt himself be pulled in even closer to the boy in front of him. 

“Oh I have an idea, Billy. I think about you everyday, want to be able to kiss you every time I see you. It’s torture to be around you and to not be able to do this.” With that Steve leaned in and brought their lips crashing together and then Billy was so lost in the sensation of Steve and his lips and his tongue and the way it slid over his own tongue. Steve hand’s wandered down to his chest and Billy knew he’d made the right decision to barely button up his shirt because the feel of Steve’s hands on his bare chest was pushing him over the edge. 

Billy didn’t know if this experience could get any better and then Steve’s hand moved over his nipple causing him to elicit a moan he had no control over. It might have been slightly embarrassing except it just seemed to further excite Steve because he immediately brought his hand back to Billy’s nipples and began toying with them more frequently. Billy just couldn’t bite back any of the noises that escaped from him, not when he had Steve’s lips and hands all over his body, in what were new, but overwhelmingly good sensations. When the hands on his chest stalled for a minute Billy was startled but looked up to see Steve’s beautiful wide brown eyes staring hungrily at him. 

Steve had to clear his throat before he could speak, “I’m sorry I guess I should have shown you the house first, I was just impatient. But if you want to, we should do it now before I get carried away.”

Billy almost had to bite back a laugh, and would have if his primary emotion at the moment hadn’t been lust. “Steve, I don’t give a fuck about your house. I just want to suck your cock, take me where we can do that.”

Billy watched in lust-filled amusement as Steve took in what he said and how less than a second later he was being dragged by the hand into a fancy ass living room with a giant TV. There was a slight moment of hesitancy that propelled Billy to take charge of the situation so he pushed Steve down onto the couch and straddled his legs. The way Steve was staring up at him with those warm brown eyes, so open and trusting, it made Billy stare for just a moment in utter amazement that such a look was being directed at him. 

And then Billy leaned in and captured Steve’s lips with his own, and he was marveled by the way Steve let him take control this time. Let him be the one to set the rhythm between them. Billy was growing impatient and he wanted to feel the soft warm skin that was hidden by Harrington’s stupid shirt. Billy gripped the bottom of Steve’s shirt and went to pull it off, and when Steve figured out what he was trying to do he helped him. Billy grabbed at his shirt and threw it somewhere over the back of the couch. 

Now his hands were free to roam over Steve’s chest, feeling the smooth lean muscles of his abdomen. Steve’s body was different than his own, less muscled, more lean, a swimmer’s body through and through. It felt absolutely perfect under Billy’s hands, which explored as they kissed. Billy was somewhat caught off guard when he felt Steve untucking his shirt, and felt him pulling at the fabric which inspired Billy to undo the three buttons holding his shirt on and throw it off over his shoulders. 

It was with Steve’s firm grip on his hips that Billy finally worked up the courage to let his hands slip down to Steve’s waist. To where the bulge of his cock was making itself known rather quickly. Without a moment's hesitation Billy reached out and felt Steve through his pants, feeling how hard he already was. Steve moaned against his lips as Billy felt him through the fabric of his pants. Billy’s mind raced, went back to the first time he’d seen Steve naked in the shower after practice. He thought back to how breathtaking Steve had looked then, how his cock had been so enticing. He was bigger than Billy, longer and just a little more girth, but Billy had no jealousy about this, just desire. 

The thoughts that had flooded his mind back then, hadn’t been entirely welcomed. But at night, in the cover of darkness he would touch himself while thinking of Steve’s cock. Touch himself as he imagined what that cock tasted like, how it would feel in his mouth. The most daring thought back then had been his desire to know what that cock would feel like inside of him, how it might fill him up. 

And now that cock was in his hand. Steve had murmured against his lips, asking him to unbutton his pants and touch him already, which Billy had been more than happy to oblige. Billy scrambled to push Steve's pants down to his ankles, to take in the view of Steve’s dick straining against his boxers, already leaking. It was this view that drove Billy onto the floor, onto his knees in front of Steve. Steve was looking down at him with awe in his eyes, even though he had protested momentarily when Billy’s lips left his. Once he caught on to what Billy was about to do he had let go of Billy’s hips, letting him get down onto the floor in front of him. 

Billy thought he might lose it just with the way Steve stared him in the eyes as they worked together to pull down his boxers, freeing his dick. This moment was better than Billy could have ever imagined. Any fantasy his teenage mind had imagined over the years or beat off to while gripping his stolen magazines, none of them matched the real thing. The sight of Steve’s erect leaking cock in front of his face was completely enrapturing. Billy reached out to stroke, first tangling his fingers in the pubic hair around his dick before taking him fully in his hand. “Fuck, pretty boy. All of you is beautiful.”

“Billy please.” Steve begged, his face flushing red as he said the words. Never had any words sounded more melodic to Billy’s ears than the sound of Steve Harrington begging for him to suck his cock. He was just so polite that Billy had to oblige. With that Billy reached out and let his tongue explore the head of Steve’s dick. Immediately he tasted like precum, salty. But it sent a rush of heat to his own dick and made him moan. He’d never sucked a cock before, he could have gotten worked up in thinking about how he had no idea what he was doing. How Steve had probably had his dick sucked by tons of girls before and might think Billy wasn’t good at it. 

But any of the worries plaguing him rushed away when he heard the unholy sound come out of Steve’s mouth, a moan that was so dirty and needy that it drove Billy insane. Billy swirled his tongue around the head of his cock, taking delight in the way Steve squirmed with need. He began to take more of Steve into his mouth, needed so badly to see how much of Steve’s massive cock he could take in his mouth, how far down his throat. He was able to take over half of his dick into his mouth before he hit the back of his throat and his gag reflex made him back off. Now, knowing his limits, he set to work bobbing his head up and down on Steve’s cock. While his mouth was busy, he grabbed at Steve’s balls in his other hand, working them at the same time. Steve was gone in front of him, head tilted back, eyes now closed, as he gripped the hair on Billy’s head like a life raft. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Billy...Billy I’m gonna come.”

In response, Billy just gave his balls another firm squeeze, a signal telling him it was okay to let go, that Billy wasn’t going to pull away. Just a few seconds later, Steve was spilling into his mouth, and Billy was completely blissed out as he felt his mouth fill with Steve’s come, it was dirty and disgusting and the most arousing experience of his life. He tried hard to swallow most of it down, but was unsuccessful and some spilled out of his mouth, dripping down his chin. 

Billy felt properly debauched as he watched Steve come down from the high of his orgasm. He was stricken by the way Steve’s muscles unclenched and relaxed post-orgasm. But mostly he was struck by the warmth he felt rising up inside of him, the warmth of affection he had for the boy in front of him. There were so many unknowns about what was going on between them, they’d only kissed for the first time a week ago. They had barely seen each other, only traded a few kisses, but hadn’t had time to talk. Billy didn’t even know if Steve actually liked guys or if this was just some phase or experiment for him. Billy figured eventually he should figure out some of the answers to these questions. But for now he was suddenly extremely overwhelmed by the discomfort and strain in his already tight jeans and the way Steve was now reaching to pull him up off of the floor. 

Billy was shocked that Steve went to kiss him, even with his own come still on Billy’s chin. Billy was even more surprised when Steve’s tongue reached out to clean him off. Billy truly didn’t think he could become more turned on, but the sensation of Steve licking his own come off his face pushed him over the edge. He reached down to undo his belt buckle and unbutton his jeans. It was beyond uncomfortable and he had to get them off immediately. He pushed his pants down and went to grab onto himself but Steve’s hand pushed his out of the way. Billy was surprised. “What are you doing?” Billy asked.

Pupils still wide, Steve responded, “Wanna make you come.”

Billy halted. For some reason he hadn’t expected this. Hadn’t expected Steve to want to touch him the way Billy wanted to touch Steve. It probably went back to how he had no idea what this was for Steve. Steve probably wasn’t actually like him, this was just a way to get off. He didn’t want to make Steve do gay shit to him. Billy was beyond happy that he wanted to make out and let him suck his dick. But Steve wanting to return the favor seemed like it was outside the realm of possibility. 

“You don’t have to do that.”

Steve halted and gave him a strange look. “But I want to.”

Billy was truly at a loss for words. He definitely wanted Steve to touch him but he’d been prepared to get himself off. “Oh, okay.”

“Do you not want me to?” Steve asked in a quiet and confused voice. 

“No. I mean yes! Yes you can, I just didn’t know if you would want to.”

Steve gave him a strange look, something close to pity, but it passed too quickly to know for sure. “Billy, I want to do everything with you. I’ve wanted your dick in my hand for a long ass time. Let me have it.”

Billy sent his lips crashing into Steve’s. “Fuck Steve, fuck it, you have me. You can have whatever you want of me.”

When Billy felt Steve take him in his hand he immediately let out an embarrassingly loud sound. Because this was what he had been waiting for his entire life. He’d dreamed of what it would be like to have a big, calloused hand on his cock. His only reference so far had been uncomfortable and half assed hand jobs from a few girls. But this was a million times better than any of those. The way Billy fit perfectly in Steve’s grip, the way Steve twirled his thumb around the head of his cock and used his precum as lube. It was expert level, the knowledge that could only come from someone who also had a dick and knew exactly what felt good. 

Billy knew he was going to come too quickly. He’d been holding himself back the entire time Steve’s cock had been in his mouth. If it had gone on any longer he wouldn’t have been surprised to come in his own pants, completely untouched. His breathing was labored and he tried to let Steve know, tried to give him a warning. But before the words could come out of his mouth he was spilling his load between them, coming all over Steve’s hand. Billy fell forward, collapsing into Steve’s shoulder in exhaustion. “Fuck.” Was the only thing he could say and it was truly poetic. 

He fell forward into the crook of Steve’s neck where he was enveloped in the smell of his expensive shampoo and his preppy after shave. Billy felt overwhelmed as his post-orgasm hormones flowed through his body making him think crazy thoughts. When Steve wrapped his arms around Billy’s waist and held him, Billy had to go out of his way to hold back tears. The moment felt too perfect, too warm, too soft, too good for him. He felt soft kisses pepper his cheek, felt as Steve leaned in close to him. 

“Can we do that everyday?” Steve asked in a timid but playful voice. 

Billy lifted his head to smile at Steve. “I’ll punch you if we don’t.”

Steve’s face lit up and he laughed loudly. Billy watched him with a look of adoration on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was just gratuitous smut (and some feels), you're welcome. In celebration of the 20th chapter and to make up for the fact that yesterday was the first time in 19 days that I didn't post a chapter (boo, work sucks) this chapter is smut and it's nearly twice the normal length of a chapter. The next chapter will be from Steve's perspective so be on the lookout. I have the day off tomorrow so it should be on time! Thanks for all the love and support.


	21. Tangled Up In Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Domestic boys being cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve's P.O.V.
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Steve was confused for a few seconds when he first opened his eyes. The first thing that confused him was that he wasn’t in his own bed, instead he was cramped up on the living room couch. The second thing that was confusing was that he wasn’t alone on the couch, the reason he was so cramped was because tucked up into his side was none other than Billy Hargrove. It was the realization of who was asleep next to him that sent memories of the previous day rushing back to him.

First, they had won their basketball game which hadn’t been an easy win but Billy had pretty much won the game for them. Second, Steve had invited Billy over to his house because his parents were away in New York City visiting his aunt, and there was nothing more Steve wanted then some alone time with Billy. Third, Billy had given him a blow job, which had been somewhat unexpected, but by far the best one he’d ever received. Fourth, Steve had given Billy a handjob, and it had been the first time he’d ever touched another guy’s dick. Miraculously he wasn’t freaking out about it, on the contrary he really wanted to do it again. Fifth, Billy and him had actually cuddled, which for the life of him, hadn’t been something Steve thought Billy would be into. 

But after they both came down from their orgasms and cleaned themselves off, the two had settled into the couch with a couple of beers to watch a movie. Steve had thrown on the newest Rambo, since he’d just rented it the day before. But Steve could hardly pay attention to the movie, not when Billy was nestled in between his legs and leaning against his chest. No, Steve had been too caught up in the feel of Billy against his chest, the intoxicating smell of cologne, hairspray, and cigarettes that was Billy. 

This was a Billy he had never seen before, who he never would have believed really existed. He was soft, warm, and quiet. It was almost hard to believe that this was the same guy who only a few months before had cornered him and beat his face in. How could this boy who was soft and warm and smelled good be the same person who snarled and screamed and punched? 

The two of them had spent the remainder of the evening watching the movie, drinking beers, and trading lazy kisses as they cuddled on the couch. At some point, and Steve didn’t know when, they must have fallen asleep. It’s not that the couch was uncomfortable, it was large and soft, but Steve knew his bed would be so much more comfortable and spacious. But he also reconsidered, thinking that maybe this wasn’t so bad because the feel of Billy practically on top of him and lightly snoring in his ear was kind of the best thing ever. Billy was still out cold, his blonde curls a mess around his face. In the bright mid morning sun that shone through the nearby windows, the faint freckles that covered his nose were visible and Steve couldn’t believe how gorgeous Billy looked at that moment, how peaceful. 

The only problem in that moment was the fact that Steve had to piss and he had no idea how to extricate himself from Billy’s intertwined limbs. He didn’t want to wake the other boy up, not when he looked so cute and calm. But nature’s call was much more important in that moment so Steve tried his hardest to slowly slide his legs out from between Billy’s. He tried to slowly pull himself out, while keeping a hand on Billy’s shoulder to steady him. He was almost free, he’d almost made it when he saw Billy’s eyes flutter open. Billy just grunted at him, half asleep.

“I’m sorry Bills, I’ve gotta go to the bathroom.”

More grunting, but then Billy let him slip away. Steve ran to the nearest downstairs bathroom to quickly do his business. He stretched as he walked down the hallway in just his boxers. He had put them back on last night. When he got back to the living room Billy was sitting up on the couch, his bed head even more pronounced with a cigarette lit in between his lips. The voice of his mother was in his head, telling him to make Billy go outside to smoke. But he looked so angelic bathed in the morning light in nothing but his boxers that Steve couldn’t be bothered. His parents wouldn’t be home for a few more days and he could air the house out later. 

“Good morning,” Steve said brightly as he took in the view of the handsome boy before him. 

“Of course you’re a morning person,” Billy grumbled around his cigarette.

“I mean it’s after ten so it’s not that early, but yeah I guess I’m more of a morning person than you.”

Steve sat back down on the couch next to Billy, close so that their legs were touching. Steve leaned over, purely on instinct, and kissed Billy’s shoulder, kissed the sprinkling of freckles decorated there. Billy stared down at him, and held his cigarette between his thumb and his forefinger with a strange expression on his face. Steve desperately wanted to kiss him. “Do I get a good morning kiss?” Steve asked playfully. 

Billy scoffed, “No, I have morning breath.”

“Well so do I but I don’t care. We both have morning breath so it cancels out.”

Billy pretended to think it over, made a big show of considering what Steve was saying. “Well I suppose that’s some logically sound reasoning that I can’t argue with.” Steve smiled because he knew he had won. Billy turned slightly so that he was facing Steve more directly and leaned in to kiss him. He didn’t taste like morning breath, just faintly of beer and strongly of cigarettes. Steve was obsessed with kissing Billy, it was something he had dreamed about almost as long as he’d known the other boy. Had dreamed about what he might feel like against him, how he would taste. Reality was even better than his expectations. 

Billy only kissed him for a few seconds, nothing too deep or intense before he pulled away and held up his cigarette. “I need to finish this first.” Steve pretended to pout for a minute but got over it soon enough. Besides, his stomach growled reminding him that he was hungry. He should make them breakfast. Steve jumped up from the couch and wandered to the kitchen, Billy got up and followed him. 

“What do you want for breakfast?” Steve yelled over his shoulder.

Steve turned in time to see Billy plop down at one of the stools at the counter, right across from him. “I don’t know, what’s chef Pretty Boy wanna make me?” Steve bit back a stupid grin at the nickname. He’d never actually hated that nickname.

“I can make you pancakes, waffles, french toast, eggs, bacon, We have pretty much whatever you want.”

“I’m not picky, surprise me.” Billy said as he tapped the ash from his cigarette onto the counter. 

“Dude, not on the counter,” Steve yelled as he hurriedly grabbed a bowl down from the cupboard for Billy to use. Billy just gave him a shit eating grin and leaned back in the chair. Steve shook his head but went to work gathering everything he needed to mix up pancake batter and start the bacon frying. The two were mostly silent as Steve worked to prepare breakfast, but it was a comfortable silence. 

Steve felt excited and proud of himself when he presented the stack of pancakes to Billy. Only a few of them were kind of burned which felt like a major accomplishment. At least the bacon looked perfectly brown and crispy. Steve offered Billy coffee and for some reason was not surprised when he asked for it black. In total contrast, Billy gave him a very judgemental look as Steve poured a ton of cream and sugar into his coffee. “I don’t need your judgement,” Steve griped.

Billy smiled sweetly, “But I’m so good at judging people, it’s one of my best skills.”

“Shut up and eat your breakfast.” Steve yelled, but his tone was lighthearted and humorous, he was far from mad.

Billy smiled and poured way too much syrup onto his pancakes. Steve was delighted by the moan of enjoyment Billy gave upon eating his first bite. “I think I’ll keep you around Stevie, just for the pancakes.”

“Oh just for my cooking skills, nothing else?” Steve teased back.

“Hmmm well your dick is nice too,” Billy murmured as a slow blush creeped up his face. Steve found it so amusing that Billy could blush so easily. That the guy who was always talking crassly about girls and sex all the time at school could be so shy in this situation. It was incredibly endearing to him. 

Steve smiled and glanced over at Billy while taking a bite of his own breakfast creation. The two chatted about school and the team idly over breakfast, conversation was light and companionable. It was so easy, easy in a way Steve never expected. Billy smiled and laughed and blushed. He joked and teased but all of it was light, no malice at all. 

When they were done eating, Steve deposited the dishes into the sink, leaving the mess to clean up later. He wanted to savor the time he had with Billy. The two made their way back into the living room, back to the couch. It seemed natural, the way Billy gravitated towards his touch, the way he nestled himself into Steve. It made a part of Steve feel validated, like what they were doing must be right because it felt so good, so natural. Steve flipped through the channels on the TV while Billy ran through sarcastic commentary on his choice of TV shows. Billy had made a sarcastic comment about his choice to watch the Golden Girls, but Steve was vindicated when Billy got quiet and began to watch the show earnestly.

It was during a commercial break that Billy looked up at him and asked him a question. “So are you a fag or what?”

Steve was immediately taken aback by his question, but mostly the word he’d chosen to use. Steve stammered for a moment, not quite sure what to say. He didn’t get anything out before Billy spoke again. “I just need to know what this is for you. Whatever is fine, I just need to have a clue what’s going on between us.”

Steve grimaced internally. He didn’t like labels, didn’t really like thinking about his sexuality at all. Because he still liked girls but he’d always had the hots for Patrick Swayze. It was hard for him to wrap his head around. He supposed he liked both but was that even a thing--a bothsexual. “I don’t really know Billy,” Steve let out, his voice more serious. “I like girls.” Steve watched as Billy’s face fell slightly, felt the way he tensed next to him. “But I also like boys, I guess I always have. It’s confusing for me, I don’t think I have a good answer except that I really like you and I like when we’re together and I’ll like for it to continue.”

Steve watched as Billy relaxed, as he nodded his head understandingly. “I think you’re bisexual Steve.” Bisexual? Steve had never heard the word before. “Like you like both men and women. It’s a thing, I knew some people back in Cali that were bi.”

“Shit,” Steve exclaimed loudly. “I had no idea that was an option.” Billy shook his head and grinned at him. “Hey! It’s not my fault that I’m kind of sheltered here in the middle of fucking nowhere.” Steve said defensively, feeling kind of stupid that all these years he’d been confused and yet there was a word for him. A label for his sexuality that other people were too. It was a relief to hear. 

“I’m glad I could clear that up for you,” Billy said, his voice smug. 

“Mmmm you’ve cleared up a lot of things for me actually,” Steve said as his voice dropped an octave.

“Like what?” Billy asked, pretending to be naive. 

“Well,” Steve said as he pushed Billy backwards onto the couch. “You helped me realize exactly how much I like dick, more helpful than that one nude magazine I stole when I was fifteen .” Steve whispered into Billy’s ear as he held himself up over the other boy. 

“You stole a gay porn rag?” Billy whispered back, his voice filled with awe. Steve laughed as he trailed his tongue along Billy’s stubbled jaw. He hummed in response against his skin. 

“Yeah, but that shit doesn’t compare to the real thing.”

Steve watched with lust filled eyes as Billy moaned in response and it made Steve feel powerful. Steve let his hand go wandering south of the border and he touched Billy through the thin fabric of his boxers. “There’s more I wanna explore Billy,” Steve murmured as he slid his hand under the waistband and took Billy’s warm cock in his hand. “Wanna see what you taste like.” With those simple words Steve watched as Billy lost it and Steve wasn’t far behind. He lost himself as he got tangled up in the blue of Billy’s eyes as he went down on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title for this chapter was very much inspired by the song Tangled Up In Blue by Bob Dylan which is one of my favorite songs and really a poetic masterpiece. I think the title fits perfectly when talking about our favorite blonde curly haired mullet wearing boy with the beautiful blue eyes. 
> 
> Again, many thanks for all the comments and kudos. They means the world and keep me going!


	22. Good Moods and Good Boyfriends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cute boys being emotionally intimate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy's P.O.V.
> 
> Be safe and take care.

“Why are you in such a good mood?” Max asked from where she sat in the passenger seat of the camaro. 

“Who said I’m in a good mood?” Billy asked snarkily.

“This is the third time this week that you’ve let me pick the radio station. Either you did something wrong or you’re in a good mood.”

“My moods are none of your business. Keep it up and I won’t let you listen to your crappy music,” Billy said defensively.

“It’s cause of Harrington right? You’ve been nicer since you started hanging out with Steve.” Billy visibly bristled, had to bite down the panic within him. 

“What the fuck do you know about Harrington?” He bit out, his voice low and angry.

“Nothing!” Max said quickly. “Jane just said you come over and hang out with him a lot at Hopper’s house. It’s good, I’m glad you guys are friends, Steve’s really nice.”

Billy let out a deep breath, let it out long and slow as he tried to calm himself down, tamp down the panic that had risen up. Max was only one person removed from his father. No one could know about what he had with Steve, but especially not someone with a history of blabbing his personal business to his father. His father would kill him if he found out. Billy was quite sure of that. His dad had no problem smacking him around for the slightest infractions. Being a faggot would be the end of him in his dad’s eyes. He couldn’t lose Steve and no one could know about them. It was a careful balance he had to walk. 

“Just listen to your music and be quiet kid.” Billy huffed out in effort to shut down this entire conversation. Was his happiness making people suspicious? Or was he just paranoid now? Billy’s mind raced the rest of the way to school and didn’t even calm down once Max was out of the car and walking towards the middle school. Billy was on edge the entire day, his mind anxiously analyzing all of his actions in the last couple of weeks since him and Harrington had gotten serious. 

Billy was distracted all of practice, it was only by luck that it didn’t affect his game enough for people to notice. But he was pretty sure Steve noticed. But really Billy was just anxious for practice to be over so he could drop Max off at home and go see Steve at Hop’s. Once practice was over he rushed to shower and only gave Steve a nod before he went to go take Max home. Even though it was annoying to have to drive her home, Billy supposed he should be grateful that Susan had said it was fine for Max to be home alone for an hour after school as long as it was still light out. 

Billy was grateful that Max seemed to understand his current mood and didn’t try to talk on their drive home. She silently jumped out of the car and ran up to the house, but Billy was gone before he could even see her go inside. His mind was largely on autopilot as he raced across town and down the backroads that led to Hopper’s house in the woods. Led to where Steve would be waiting for him. 

And there he was, bundled up in his preppy peacoat with his cashmere scarf peeking out from his collar. Winter had officially arrived with the first snow, just a dusting, but it did nothing to brighten Billy’s mood. It only made him wish he could take Steve to the golden coast, where the sun and the sand made everything better. But Harrington was a sight for sore eyes, even if they’d only been apart for less than thirty minutes, now they were finally alone, save for the teenage girl in her bedroom. 

Steve smiled and threw his cigarette onto the ground to extinguish it as Billy walked over to him. Billy wasted no time, just rushed into Steve’s arms and was immediately comforted by the arms that wrapped tightly around him. It was in this embrace that the worries of the day melted away, suddenly all the tension he’d been holding in his shoulders loosened. Billy let out a deep sigh, one he hadn’t been aware he was holding. 

“Long day babe?”

“You could say that.” Billy muttered into Steve’s neck. Sometimes he felt stupid, needing Steve like this. But it was better than the anger. Talking to Steve helped him to not be so angry. 

“Wanna talk about it?” Steve asked before planting a few small kisses to the side of Billy’s cheek. 

“It’s just Max. She said I’m happy.”

Steve chuckled. “So. Isn’t happiness a good thing. I like that you’re happy.”

Billy moved his head up so that he was looking at Steve more clearly. “She said I’m happy because of you.”

Steve furrowed his eyebrows and frowned slightly. “Well aren’t you happy because of me? I want nothing more than to make you happy.”

Billy gripped at the collar of Steve’s coat, felt the soft and expensive material in his fingers. “You are the reason I’m so happy. And it’s good. But--”

“Why the but?” Steve interjected.

“The but is because she seemed to put it together that you make me happy and is that really such a fucking jump to the fact that we’re together?” Billy said, his voice rising slightly in volume. 

Steve nodded slowly and let out a deep breath as he tried to rub a calming hand on Billy’s waist. “Billy, she doesn’t know anything. We’re friends and you have been doing really well lately managing your anger and stuff. So what if she knows that I help you out. It’s not absurd that friends help each other. It doesn’t mean she knows that you like my dick.” 

Billy let out a small chuckle at the way Steve chose to end that sentence. He let out a breath and let his hands snake around so they rested right above Steve’s ass. “You might have a point.”

Steve's face lit up. “I’m smart sometimes. I may not be in AP classes like you but I have my moments.” Billy felt himself relax once again into Steve’s arms, he pulled Steve forward in what was not at all a subtle hint that he wanted a kiss. Billy watched the small smile Steve gave him before their lips met. And even though it was cold as shit, Billy didn’t care about any of that because Steve Harrington was kissing him. He saw all of Billy, saw his anger, his sadness, his paranoia. He saw all of him and still wanted to kiss him. It didn’t always make the most sense to Billy, but he knew not to take it for granted. He just let his hands roam over the gorgeous ass of the man in his arms and let Steve take control of his lips. 

They stood there making out for a few minutes before Billy had to call it. “It’s too fucking cold out here,” he said as he shivered in his leather jacket. 

“Let me buy you a real fucking winter coat,” Steve begged as he pulled Billy inside, where it was nice and toasty. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake, you sound like a mother hen.”

“Somebody needs to talk some sense into you about proper winter apparel.” 

“I look fucking stupid in a giant coat.”

Steve sighed as they plopped down onto the couch. “No you won’t. We can find a stylish coat and besides everyone is wearing one, no one actually gives a shit.”

Billy huffed. “I’ll think about it.” Billy watched as Steve rolled his eyes in slight annoyance but let it go. Billy was satisfied that he’d won the conversation. They sat back on the couch and flipped through the channels trying to find something to watch. There was an obligatory few inches of space between them since they weren’t alone in the house. Jane could be heard faintly from her room, of course on the phone with Mike Wheeler. 

“You gonna be able to come over this weekend?” Steve asked Billy.

“Well if I don’t have other plans,” Billy said with a wry grin and a teasing tone.

“What other plans could you possibly have? Do you have another secret boyfriend, because if so I’ll fight him.”

Billy’s face lit up into a grin. Steve had said the b-word. Boyfriend. Steve had slipped into calling him babe after their first night spent together. It melted Billy’s heart and made him ridiculously happy inside. But even though in the three weeks since their first night together they had gotten a lot more serious with one another, they still hadn’t labeled it. Hadn’t officially put a name to what this was between them. 

“Oh I think one boy is plenty for me. Why? Are you jealous?” Billy teased mercilessly, feeling both giddy and playful. 

Steve looked bashful but was smirking. “Fuck yeah I’d be jealous. If you hadn’t figured it out yet, I really like you. I don’t just suck anyone’s dick.”

“Really? I thought you did this all the time.” Billy continued. 

“Nope, there’s only really one dick I’m interested in and it’s you.”

“Are you saying you like my dick or are you calling me a dick? Very different things,” Billy asked his eyebrows scrunched in mock anger.

“Both apply to you,” Steve said with a cute and playful grin on his face. The two were silent for a moment. 

“So you’re my boyfriend?” Billy asked, this time his voice quieter, a little more unsure. He was nervous.

Steve blushed slightly and didn’t quite meet his eyes. “I mean yeah, I guess I am. I want to be. Is that what you want?”

Billy launched himself across the couch, not caring whether they were alone or not. He planted a sloppy wet kiss on Steve’s lips and held his head in his hands. “You’re my boyfriend Steve, don’t forget it.”

Steve’s fingers gripped Billy by the waist, toyed at the waistline of his jeans. “I wouldn’t dream of it babe.”

The two got lost in each other but it was the sound of the front door opening that sent Billy flying to the other end of the couch. He landed and tried to look casual as Hopper came trudging into the room complaining about snow. Billy could have been mad that their kiss was interrupted, but he was too happy to be mad about anything. He had a boyfriend. He was happy. And it seemed like he was good at making Steve happy too. So he listened to Hopper and Steve complain about the snow and couldn’t help but smile as he did so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love soft boys who are emotionally intimate and I'm not sorry about it ok. 
> 
> As always, thanks for the kudos and comments!


	23. Everybody Needs Help Sometimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Hopper try to help and Billy gets mad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopper's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: References to child abuse
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Hopper was feeling good as he drove home from Joyce Byers’ house, so good he was tapping along on his steering wheel to the song on the radio. He had a great conversation with her earlier over coffee about how well Billy was doing. Of course Hopper didn’t say Billy’s name but he felt proud to report how well the boy he was helping was doing. Joyce was amazing and supportive and reassured him that he was doing a good thing. He’d left after a few hours of comfortable conversation, leaving Jane behind since all her friends were over playing their Dungeons and Dragons game. Hopper understood absolutely nothing about the game but the kids got all worked up about it and he was just happy it kept them busy and out of trouble. 

Billy had been over just last night for dinner and Hopper was amazed with how far Billy had come, the progress he’d made. It had been only a little over three months since that night at the quarry, which was startling to think about. It was such a short period of time, but in that time Billy had made amends with Steve Harrington, worked on managing his anger, and was downright pleasant to be around. Hopper felt immensely proud of the kid, proud that he had put in the work to improve himself. 

There was still the occasional black eye or fat lip, which Billy continued to explain away and avoid talking about. It was the one area that Hopper continued to feel frustrated at the boy, frustrated that he wouldn’t reach out for help and admit that he didn’t deserve to be hit. Hopper was more than aware of the complexity of the issue and how it wasn’t really Billy’s fault that it was hard for him to reach out. But the way it drove up his blood pressure whenever he saw Billy with an injury and the way it made him feel so helpless were draining on him. He wanted nothing more than to save Billy Hargrove from his dad but he was powerless unless Billy wanted to save himself. 

When Hopper arrived home he smiled when he saw that blue camaro in his driveway. It was a familiar sight by now and one that was always welcome. It wasn’t until a second later that he noticed the beemer parked in front of it. Steve was here too. That wasn’t entirely unusual, he knew the two of them hung out here a lot, usually while Steve was watching Jane after school. They weren’t usually both here on the weekend but Hopper was glad enough to have the company. He parked his car in the garage he’d built a few years earlier in order to keep it out of the snow. The time his garage saved him from having to clear snow off of his car in the morning made it all worth it. 

Hopper trudged through the now several inches of snow that covered the ground and walked up to the porch to head inside. But a sound coming from inside stopped him right by the door. There was yelling. With the history of yelling and violence between the two boys, Hopper’s mind immediately went to the worst, thinking they were at it again. He was about to barge inside and put an end to whatever was going on between them, but he was stopped when he heard what was being said. 

“It’s none of your fucking business, why can’t you just leave this alone,” He heard Billy yell angrily from inside. 

“Billy, are you kidding me? You keep coming to school with black eyes and fat lips and bruises and that’s somehow not my business. Why can’t you just admit what your father does? Why won’t you let Hopper help you?” Steve exclaimed loudly in response. 

“Don’t act like you know shit about my life because you don’t.” Billy let out. 

“Billy, how am I supposed to feel when I keep seeing you hurt like this? Am I supposed to just ignore it, ignore the bruises and pretend you’re not in pain? Because I can’t do that. I can’t just stand around and watch this happen. You have to let Hopper help you or let me help you, your father needs to go to jail. You don’t deserve any of what he does to you, not even if you’re being difficult or any of the other excuses you give. You never deserve to get hit.” Steve’s angry voice carried all the way outside where Hopper was standing with baited breath. 

“Just shut the fuck up Harrington, you don’t know shit. I don’t need you to come into my life and try to play hero. I don’t need you or Hopper to save me, I’m not some fucking kid.”

“You don’t have to be a kid to need help Billy, everybody needs help sometimes.” Steve said in a softer voice. 

“I’m fucking out of here, I don’t need this from you. Do me a favor and leave me the fuck alone.”

Hopper heard this and backed away from the door, he could hear Billy storming through the house. The door flew open and Billy stormed out so quickly he didn’t even see Hopper standing there. Billy was sprinting to his car, Hopper ran after him, shouting, “Whoa kid, where are you going off to so angry?”

Billy tried to act like he didn’t hear him, tried to get into his car and speed away from the situation. But he didn’t get the chance because Hopper caught his car door right before he could slam it shut. Billy looked up at him with dark and stormy eyes. This was a Billy he hadn’t seen in a while. “Let the fuck go of my car old man.” Billy spit out at him. 

“I can’t do that Billy, not until you tell me what the problem is.”

“Why don’t you go ask Harrington, since you and him have so much in common. Wanting to control my life.”

“I’m not trying to control your life Billy, and I can’t speak for Steve but I doubt he is either. All of us just want to help you because we care.”

“I don’t need anyone’s help. I’ve gotten along this far on my own, I don’t need anyone now so kindly fuck off.”

Hopper was overwhelmed in the moment. Confused by Billy’s sudden shift in attitude and concerned about everything he was saying. Just because he’d made it this far on his own didn’t mean Billy shouldn’t need help now. There were finally people in his life who wanted to help him, wanted to make sure he was taken care of. But Hopper understood that it wasn’t so easy to shift behavior. If one becomes accustomed to doing things a certain way for so long it’s often hard to try and do things a new way. That must be how Billy was feeling about suddenly having supportive people in his life. The newness of it all was setting him off, maybe Steve had come on a bit too strong. Billy’s hard exterior was thin and it concealed what was an extremely sensitive and fragile undercarriage. 

Hopper took a moment to look down at Billy and he sighed before letting go of the door. He felt helpless as he watched Billy, in one swift motion, slam the door shut and shift his car into gear before speeding down the driveway. Hopper watched him go and wondered if he had done the right thing by letting Billy go when he was in such a worked up state. But all he could think was that perhaps some cooling off time by himself was the best thing for Billy at this moment. 

Hopper turned around and headed back to the house, where Steve was. He found Steve hunched down on the couch looking forlorn. “What the hell happened kid?”

Steve looked up at him and his expression darkened slightly. “Billy’s dad hit him, he is the reason Billy has all those bruises. Billy tries to make it out like he is getting in bar fights or some shit but none of it’s true. I tried to say he should get help but he just went off on me. You need to do something Hop.”

Hopper sighed, “I’ve known about Billy’s father for awhile. I--”

“You knew and you haven’t done anything yet?” Steve interrupted him angrily.

“Steve, it’s not as simple as you make it out to be. I could go arrest Neil Hargrove right now but unless Billy presses charges and testifies against him nothing will stick and he won’t go to prison. You’ve seen the way Billy reacts, he’s not in a place where he would testify against his own father.”

Steve looked like he wanted to say more but he also seemed to understand what Hopper was telling him.

“How do I help him if he won’t let me?” Steve asked, suddenly sounding more tired and worn out. 

“You just have to be there for him, but you can’t push him. I’ve been talking with him for a few months now and it’s taken me some time to learn how to handle his moods. But he’s a good kid, he really is. He’s just dealing with a lot, and now you understand more of it. Just continue to be there for him, he’ll calm down from this. We just have to give him some time.” Hopper said in an effort to reassure Steve.

Steve nodded but didn’t say anything for a few minutes, just stared ahead at the blank TV. Hopper let them sit there digesting what had happened, not saying all the things that were running through his mind. Finally Hopper spoke, “You should go find him.”

Steve looked up at him, “Yeah?”

Hopper nodded. “Yeah he’ll probably need someone when he calms down a little. You probably know where to find him better than me anyways. And I’m sure you’re a more welcome sight to him than me.”

Steve gave him an odd look at the last thing he’d said. Hopper just shrugged but didn’t say anything more. Steve let it rest between them, what was going unsaid. Steve jumped up from the couch and grabbed his coat. 

“Call me if you need anything,” Hopper yelled after him. He didn’t hear Steve give a response but he was confident that if either boy needed him that they would call. Hopper slid off his coat and sat down to untie his boots. Then he walked to the kitchen to grab himself a beer out of the fridge. He took his beer and sat down in the recliner in his living room. He passed the rest of the evening drinking, smoking, and thinking about how to save Billy Hargrove.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major thanks to my wonderful editor for all the help on this chapter. This chapter is up a day late because I was struggling with it. But with the help of my editor extraordinaire and some late night brainstorming I was able to salvage this chapter and now I'm actually really proud of how it turned out. Mostly writing is a lot of fun but sometimes it's a bit of a struggle. Luckily it's so worth it in the end when I can write something I'm proud of and hopefully you will all enjoy. 
> 
> Thanks for all the continued love and support!


	24. What a Difference a Few Months Can Make

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A return to the quarry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: Brief mentions of suicidal thoughts and behavior.
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Billy wasn’t really thinking about anything at all as his car carried him away from Hop’s house. Away from both Hopper and Steve. Two people who genuinely cared about him, and he was running away from them. It was precisely his unthinking mind that led him to the same place he’d been those few months ago. He stopped his car just a few feet from the edge of the quarry, similar to where he’d been on that night. 

Billy had been so wrapped up in his anger, so consumed by its vitriol that he hadn’t realized where he was taking himself. It wasn’t until he shifted his car into park that he really looked up and registered where he was. When he realized that he had come here, something inside of him snapped. The feelings of that night came rushing back to him, rushing over him like a tidal wave. The despair. The immense sadness and hopelessness he’d felt about his life and his future. 

But it wasn’t the same now. Even though he remembered every single thing he’d been feeling that night, it wasn’t the same now. It had only been a few months since that night but things were so different for him now. He had wanted to die because of how he hurt people, how he hurt Steve Harrington. But Steve had forgiven him. Steve had kissed him. Things were so much better now. He had Hopper and Steve and hope. But why was he so angry right now?

He could feel it vibrating inside of him, the energy of anger. It gripped him like a vice, it was unyielding but altogether perplexing at the same time. Steve wanted to help him. But he didn’t understand everything that Billy had gone through. He didn’t know the pain of losing your mother. He didn’t know what it was like to only have one parent left, even though that parent wasn’t perfect, even if that parent hurt you, they were still your parent. If Billy lost his dad then he’d have no one. He’d basically be an orphan, alone in the world. Steve didn’t understand any of this. Hopper understood more of it, but even still, Billy could feel the tension that Hopper gave off whenever he saw a bruise or a scar.

Billy didn’t want to be angry at Steve. He didn’t want to have to storm away from their argument out of fear that he’d hit him. It was this worry that sent him out the door, sent him storming away. He always lived with the fear that he was just as bad as his dad. That no matter how he tried to rise above it, he’d always be his father’s son and he’d always hurt people he loved. This realization had driven him here, back to the quarry. The water down below was frozen and covered in a thin layer of snow. The air was cooler and it wasn’t yet dark. It wasn’t the same as that night had been. Autumn was over, winter had arrived. 

Things were different now because even though he was angry and sad, he didn’t want to die. He could look out over the edge of the quarry without any temptation to jump off of it, to end it all. But he felt shame at how he’d blown up at Steve. He hadn’t been able to help it, to help the defensiveness that caused him to lash out. He sat in his car holding a cigarette in a shaky hand and considered the fact that he’d probably just screwed up the best thing to ever happen to him and wasn’t that just the way this was supposed to go. It seemed inevitable given the course of his life so far, that happiness for him was only allowed in small bursts, and was destined to implode sooner rather than later. 

Billy blew out a shaky breath of smoke as he unsuccessfully bit back tears. Steve was a good person, a far better person than him. He didn’t deserve to be yelled at and he didn’t deserve someone as fucked up as Billy. Billy was convinced that Steve had now seen the truth, seen that no matter how much progress he appeared to make, that he was never going to be enough. Billy was so caught up in his downward spiral that the tapping on his window sent him jumping up out of his seat and he almost dropped his cigarette. He turned to look and saw none other than Steve standing there looking extremely concerned at him. 

Steve motioned for Billy to roll down the window and Billy immediately didn’t want to. He didn’t think he could bear to roll down the window because that would mean Steve would break up with him. The thought of never getting to spend another weekend in bed with Steve made him freeze up. The thought of never getting to see the way Steve laughed while watching the Golden Girls and the way he smiled when they first woke up in the morning made him want to never roll down the window. Because as long as he didn’t do that he wouldn’t be broken up with. 

“Billy come on, you’re worrying me,” He heard Steve faintly yell at him from outside the car. Billy snuffed out his cigarette in the ashtray and steeled himself to roll down the window and face his fate. There was no point in delaying the inevitable anymore. 

Billy took his time moving the lever to roll down his window. He felt as the cold air began to seep in and it was in that moment that he kind of regretted not letting Harrington buy him a better jacket. It was so cold out. 

“What?” Billy forced out quickly, keeping his voice steady. 

“Billy I am really sorry if I pressured you at all back there. I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to do. I care about you so much and I just don’t like seeing you hurt. But I should respect where you’re at. I hope you can forgive me.”

Billy furrowed his eyes in confusion. This was not what he was expecting. Why was Steve apologizing to him. Billy had been the one who yelled, gotten angry, and stormed away. And yet, Steve was here apologizing to him. 

“Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one who blew up.” Billy said to Steve, his voice dripping with incredulity. 

Steve gave him a funny look. “Billy, I’m apologizing because I wasn’t being empathetic enough to you back there. I should have been more understanding of how you feel and not pushed it so far. You’re allowed to be mad at me for that. It might have been better if you didn’t run away but you also needed some space to calm down so I let you go.”

Billy felt foolish. He’d been so wrapped up in thinking about how he was definitely the wrong one in the situation that he didn’t even consider Steve feeling bad about it. He just figured Steve was angry at him for making it a bigger deal than it should have been. 

“I’m sorry for running away. I... I don’t always trust myself not to do something regrettable. I have a bad track record with that.”

Steve reached his hand through the window and held onto Billy’s. “I’m not mad at you Billy and I’m not going anywhere, you didn’t scare me away.”

Billy gripped tightly onto Steve’s hand. It was overwhelming. Steve’s unconditional support. Being back here, in the place where he’d almost ended it all. The juxtaposition of that night all those months ago and where he was at now was jarring. Billy looked up at Steve and saw nothing but compassion staring back at him. He felt safe in a way he never had before. It was this safety that made him feel like he could tell Steve. 

“You know why I hang around Hopper’s place so much?” Billy began to say. “It’s because of something that happened here. A few months ago. Back in September, one night I came out here and I was going to…” Billy trailed off, his breath caught in his throat. He hadn’t said it out loud. He’d never said what he was going to do that night out loud to anyone. The only reason Hopper knew was because he’d been there. He’d never acknowledged out loud what had almost happened that night. Steve squeezed his hand supportively. 

“I was going to kill myself.” Billy said while looking straight ahead. He couldn’t look at Steve while he said it. “I was standing on the edge of the quarry smoking my last cigarette. When I was done I was going to throw myself off the edge. Obviously that didn’t happen. Hopper happened instead. He showed up out of nowhere and saved my life.”

“Billy,” Steve began to say but Billy cut him off. “I really hated who I was. I hated all the things I had done. Most of all I hated myself for what I did to you that night at Byers’ place. I was out of control then but I’m not making an excuse. Everything felt like it was too much, nothing was worth it anymore.” Billy’s voice began to break and he had to keep fighting back the tears so he could get out the rest of his words. 

“Hopper saved me. Not just that night but basically everyday since then. Because I’ve wanted to kill myself again since that night. At least two or three more times. But Hopper was there for me, so I never got to this edge again. And I don’t want to die anymore. I really don’t. I want to be better and I want to live.”

Steve’s hand ripped out of Billy’s and left him feeling cold for a millisecond before he ripped open the driver’s side door and was pulling Billy up out of the car and into his arms. “Billy, I’m so happy you’re still here.” Steve said as he held Billy close to him. Wrapped his arms so tight around Billy’s waist that it was almost painful. 

“Me too, Stevie,” Billy muttered into Steve’s neck, where he had tucked his face. 

The two stood there in the cold as the sun began to set, casting a golden glow on the white snow. They were wrapped up in each other, shielded from the chilly air surrounding them. 

They were silent for the longest time, the only sound was that of their breathing and their hearts beating in time. Billy felt freer than he’d ever felt before. More secure than he thought was possible. And loved. This was what love felt like. 

“I love you Steve.” Billy muttered into his neck. He said it and part of him hoped that Steve hadn’t been able to hear it. But it was made clear to Billy that he had because in less time than it took to take a breath he heard Steve speak, “I love you Billy, so much.” 

Billy smiled into the crook of Steve’s neck because he loved someone and someone loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst and fluff are my fave combination to both read and write and I will not apologize for it lol. Also the image of Billy (who is just an inch shorter than Steve) with his head tucked into the crook of Steve's neck is my favorite thing ever which is why I keep writing it so I hope that image brings you as much joy as it does me.


	25. D&D and Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy gets better at apologizing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve's P.O.V.
> 
> Be safe and take care.

“There’s no way in hell that’s gonna work, Will needs to roll a thirteen or higher in order to cast the fireball.” Dustin exclaimed loudly from where he sat at the makeshift table where all the kids were playing Dungeons and Dragons. 

Steve watched as Will held the seven dice in his hands, looking stressed out that he wouldn’t roll a number high enough to cast the spell they needed. Steve was completely lost at what was happening, despite the numerous times Dustin had attempted to explain it to him. Dustin had even gone as far as making Steve a character a few months ago but that hadn’t gone well. Dustin blamed Steve getting kicked out of the game on Mike but in the end it was for the best. Steve was happy to spend time with the kids but he was never going to be into Dungeons and Dragons. 

Steve sat behind them on the couch waiting for them to wrap up their game so he could bring Dustin home. His mom had her bridge club tonight so he was doing Mrs. Henderson a favor. Plus he knew she would give him some chocolate cupcakes to bring home which only sweetened the deal. Steve watched amused as Will failed to roll the number he needed and the whole room exploded in raucous yelling. Mike was yelling something about a magic spell and Will angrily slammed his hand down on the table. Lucas sat back with a smug look on his face because whatever happened had been good for him. Max and Jane were trading silent looks, they didn’t get as worked up as the guys did. 

Steve motioned for them to wrap it up and Dustin begrudgingly began packing away all of their game supplies. Steve managed to drag Dustin out to his car after ten more minutes of post-game conversation and even managed to scoot past Mrs. Wheeler with just a nod and a hello. Things had been awkward with her since Steve broke up with Nancy. Once they made it to the car Dustin was happy to chatter on the whole drive back to his house about how the campaign had gone and what they needed to do better next time. As they neared Dustin’s house he shifted gears, steering the conversation in another direction. 

“Are you gonna be able to come to the big campaign next Friday. I know Mike won’t let you play anymore but you can come watch if you want, it’ll still be a lot of fun.” Dustin asked. 

Steve thought about his plans next weekend. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to hang out with the kids, but he definitely already had plans with Billy. And hot sexy times with his boyfriend was way more fun than watching middle schoolers play a game he barely understood, that was just a simple fact. 

“Sorry Dustin, I’ve got plans already. But I’m sure you’ll tell me all about it afterwards.”

Dustin gave him a dirty look. “Plans with Hargrove?” He asked, his tone accusatory. 

Steve sighed as he stared ahead at the road. Telling the kids he and Billy were friends hadn’t been planned exactly. It was more like he wasn’t good at lying and Billy was really the only person his own age he ever hung around with outside of school anymore. It was a small town and it was hard to hide something like that. Dustin had exploded when he found out, went off about how Steve must have been punched one to many times if he thought it was alright to be friends with Billy Hargrove. Steve had managed to talk him down but just barely. Dustin was clearly still displeased with this arrangement. Steve didn’t want to even entertain how the kid might react to the truth about what Billy was to him. 

“Yes Dustin, I’m hanging out with Billy. You really need to cut him some slack. You know he’s changed a lot and he is not like he used to be. He’s better now.”

“All I know is he’s a psychopath who nearly killed you and now you defend him. It makes no fucking sense, how could you be friends with him.”

“Dustin, I told you. He apologized and has gone out of his way to change his behavior. People can change.”

“Well maybe he apologized to you but what about the rest of us? We were all there and saw it go down. That was some traumatizing shit Steve and so no we can’t just get over it.”  
Steve bit back what he was going to say because Dustin was kind of making a good point. Sure, he’d been the only hit that night but all the kids had witnessed it and it was not a pleasant sight. Dustin had a point that Billy should probably apologize to all of them as well and it would probably be a good thing. If Billy apologized then maybe Dustin would calm down about him and maybe it would help Billy get more closure about what went down that night. 

“You know what Dustin. You’re right. Billy should apologize and I will talk to him about doing it. Maybe I can bring him with me some night when I pick you guys up from the arcade and he can do it there. If he apologizes will you promise to give him more of a chance?”

Dustin furrowed his brow like he was thinking it over. “No promises Steve but if he actually apologizes I will perhaps consider allowing you to hang out with him.” Dustin said, ending his sentence with sarcasm. 

Steve shook his head and let out a wry laugh as they pulled into Dustin’s driveway. “Alright man, sounds like a deal.” Dustin leapt out of his car and Steve watched as Mrs. Henderson scurried outside with a tupperware in her hands. Steve accepted the cupcakes and thanked Mrs. Henderson extensively before driving away, back to his own house.  
The following Monday Steve finally got the chance to breach the subject of apologizing with Billy. The two were sitting on the hood of the camaro sharing a cigarette outside the arcade waiting for the kids to be done. Steve felt kind of nervous to bring up the subject since Billy was doing so well lately and it might upset him to bring up that night yet again. But Steve knew it was for the best and he believed that Billy would want to do the right thing. Since that day at the quarry the week before when they both said ‘I love you’ things had been beyond amazing. Steve was completely shocked that the most healthy relationship of his life was with not only a man, but also a man who had once attacked him. It didn’t make the most sense but it had happened and Steve was grateful. 

“So I was talking to Dustin,” Steve began to say before he saw Billy make an annoyed face. Steve chose to ignore him and continue, “I was talking to Dustin about you and how we’re friends--”

“Oh yeah Steve, we’re best friends aren’t we. I only let my best friends fuck my fac--”.

“Billy!” Steve interrupted quickly, his face flushing as he glanced around the parking lot. Billy looked smug, too smug. “I’m trying to be serious here Billy.”

Billy tried his best to look innocent, “So I am I Stevie, I’m serious about how much I like it when you grab me by the hair and make me--”

“Billy.” Steve said sternly, staring disapprovingly at his obnoxious boyfriend. Billy gave a naughty smile but shut his mouth to let Steve continue. 

“I want Dustin and all the kids to not hate you so much. The kids are important to me and you’re important to me and I know it’s unrealistic that you guys will ever be friends but I think you could be civil. What I’m getting at is I think you should apologize to the kids for what they saw that night at Byers’.”

Billy’s expression changed rapidly, cycled through a few different emotions before he landed on a more controlled and neutral expression. “I already apologized to you, you’re the only one I hit.”

“I know babe, but the kids saw it all go down and that was a lot for them. I totally forgive you for that night but you’ve gone out of your way to show me how much you’ve changed. The kids haven’t gotten to see any of that, they just hear it second hand from me which isn’t the same.”

Billy let out a deep breath before he spoke. Steve wanted nothing more than to lay a comforting hand on Billy’s arm but he held himself back. “If you think it’s for the best then I will apologize to the nerd squad.” Billy said in a quiet but even tone. 

Steve smiled and stomped out his finished cigarette on the pavement below. “Thanks babe, it really means a lot to me.”

“That’s why I’m doing it.” Billy said sweetly before pausing a moment. Billy smiled before speaking again. “And you’re so going to owe me. Remember the other week when in the shower when you--”

Steve held up a hand to cut Billy off. “Whatever you want, but nothing until you apologize.”

Billy smiled and seemed to take that as a promise. “Fine, I’ll apologize tonight. Then tomorrow afternoon you’re all mine.” Steve shook his head but didn’t say anything to contradict his sex-crazed boyfriend because well, he was just as sex-crazed. 

The two were interrupted from their thoughts of possible sexual escapades when Steve jumped up off the hood of the car at the sight of all the kids walking across the parking lot to them. Billy followed suit and stood there awkwardly as they waited for the kids to reach them. 

“Hey guys,” Steve spoke when the kids reached the camaro. “Billy has something he wants to say to all of you. Billy, take it away.” Steve said motioning for Billy to take the lead.  
Steve watched in anticipation as Billy cleared his throat before speaking. Steve desperately hoped he wouldn’t say anything too offensive because it would ruin the chance of Dustin ever liking him and it would ruin Steve’s chance at a mind blowing blow job because he’d have to deny his boyfriend. 

“Hello nerds, I just wanted to take this opportunity to apologize for the night out at Byers’ place.” Billy began to say. Steve held his breath because Billy’s tone was a little sarcastic and not the most apologetic. He began to let his breath out more when he heard Billy’s tone shift and become more sincere, which happened as he began to speak about Steve.  
“I was in a really fucked up place that night and it’s not an excuse for how I behaved but I want you to know that I completely regret what I did to Steve. And I’m really sorry that you guys had to watch that. In a way I’m grateful you guys were there because you stopped me from doing anything worse. I’m doing my best to make it up to Steve and he’s forgiven me. I hope you guys will give me the same chance but there’s no pressure. I just want you guys to know that I’m sorry about how it all went down.” 

Steve’s heart blossomed with pride because Billy’s apology skills had really gotten a lot better since the first apology he’d received. Steve looked at all the kids and saw a mixed bag of emotions on their faces. Max looked the happiest, almost like she wanted to cry. Jane was smiling, she hung out with Billy the most at Hopper’s place and probably had the best opinion of him already. Mike Wheeler looked pretty apathetic about the whole thing but not openly hostile so that was positive for him. Will was harder to read, but didn’t look upset. Lucas and Dustin both looked about as equally suspicious. 

Dustin was the one who spoke up first, he took a step forward getting up in Billy’s face. Steve watched with an amused expression as Dustin pointed a finger at him, “You fuck up and hurt Steve again there will be major consequences so watch yourself.”

Steve knew the look on Billy’s face was one of bemusement, like he was holding back laughter. But Billy nodded and remained serious, “I take your threat seriously Henderson. If I fuck up you get the first punch.” Dustin nodded solemnly and took a step back. 

“I think we’ve reached an understanding then.” Dustin told Billy. 

Steve smiled and broke the tension by telling the kids it was time to get going. He herded his group of middle schoolers into his car and gave Billy a small smile and a wave before driving off. Steve was seriously impressed by how Billy had handled the situation and he was definitely going to go down on him tomorrow night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do a lot of research about D&D just to write this little about it. That's what I call dedication lol.


	26. First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy loses his V card.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy's P.O.V.
> 
> No CW but this chapter is basically just graphic sex so beware (and enjoy!). See tags for exact sexual content, they have been updated to reflect what happens in this chapter. 
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Billy really didn’t believe in the concept of hell, despite being raised in the church. His mom, despite being a fairly devout catholic, didn’t really buy much into the idea of hell. She preferred to focus on the good and positive aspect of her faith, rather than punishment. This meant Billy was mostly spared from the anxiety that can come with the threat of eternal damnation. And although he didn’t really believe in hell Billy was pretty sure he knew what his hell would be because sometimes he felt like he was living it. 

His hell would be having to spend several hours a day, five days a week, with his insanely hot boyfriend, but be unable to touch him and kiss him the way he wanted to. His hell would be having to see his stupidly hot boyfriend run around in shorts for two hours and have to refrain from grabbing his ass even though those shorts made his ass look incredible. That, Billy was sure, would be his hell. And it was also his reality. 

The first time Steve gave him a blow job, Billy was pretty sure he was in love. It could have been the post-orgasm endorphins flooding his body making him feel so affectionate. But when the feelings were still there hours later when he was back home in his own bed, he figured it might actually be real. Billy wasn’t an idiot, he knew it was much too soon for a love confession, even if the thoughts had already bubbled up in the back of his mind. But that day at the quarry it had just seemed so perfect, it had seemed like the most natural thing to say at that moment. And then Steve loved him back. It was too perfect. 

Since then Billy had been lost in Steve. Steve was the first thing he thought about in the morning and the last thing he thought about before going to bed. He held onto every waking moment he got to spend with his boyfriend like it was precious and fleeting. Mostly because the time they got to spend alone, away from prying eyes and able to be themselves, was pretty sparse. Between school, sports, babysitting, and family stuff, the time they had to themselves was very limited. They could never meet at Billy’s house and while Hopper’s house was a pretty safe space, Jane was always there so nothing too scandalous could happen. Steve’s house was pretty much their only option but they had to work around his parents’ schedule. Luckily his parents traveled quite a bit with work, vacations, and visiting family around the country, so it wasn’t impossible. 

It had been almost a month since they’d had any alone time together. Billy was frustrated, angry at the world for making them hide and sneak around like this. When he saw couples kiss and hold hands in the hallway at school he felt a bitterness rise up inside of him. He would never get to do that with Steve even though he wished so badly to live in a world where that was possible. He wished so badly he could walk proudly hand in hand with Steve and show him off to everyone, show off how in love they were. But that world was never going to exist and especially not in Bumfuck, Indiana. So Billy settled for the fleeting moments they got together, with stolen kisses in the camaro after dark, and late night phone calls. 

When Steve mentioned in passing one night that his parents would be gone overnight at some big fancy dinner event in Chicago, Billy wasted no time in inviting himself over. Steve tried to appear nonchalant about it but Billy knew he was just as frustrated about their lack of time together. This was finally their chance, after such a long time. Billy went out of his way to do everything right, make sure everything was in order so his dad would be in a good mood. Nothing was going to get in the way of their time together. 

Finally, the weekend arrived and Billy told his father that there was a party and he’d be sleeping over. It was as if the stars were aligning because his father didn’t ask too many questions and just said to be back by Sunday evening for family dinner. Billy was free. After spending far too long getting ready, especially considering his clothes wouldn’t stay on too long, Billy jumped in the camaro and raced across town to Steve’s house. 

Steve was waiting for him at the front door, and quickly pulled Billy inside to shut out the cold. Billy was delighted that Steve wasted no time in bringing their lips together in what was a sloppy kiss, tongue and teeth, a little desperate. It had been awhile. Steve slid his hands into Billy’s back pockets, gripping his ass, making Billy groan in pleasure. “Hey babe,” Steve muttered as he trailed his tongue along Billy’s jawline. 

“Mmm Stevie, I missed you, missed this.” Billy let out between gasping breaths. 

“We see each other everyday,” Steve replied in a teasing voice. 

Billy’s eyes narrowed, “You know that doesn’t count, not when I can’t do this,” Billy said as he reached in between them a roughly grabbed at Steve’s crotch. Billy delighted in the way Steve tensed up, the way his breathing hitched when Billy grabbed him like that. 

“I don’t see why you don’t do that in the locker room, when we’re showering maybe?” Steve let out, purposely trying to rile Billy up.

“Yeah, you’d like that wouldn’t you. Like for me to get on my knees in the shower and take you down my throat while everyone watches.”

Steve hummed as though he was considering it. “Well I’m not quite that much of an exhibitionist, but messing around in the locker rooms would be hot.”

Billy nodded, thinking about it. About how hot it would be to suck Steve’s dick in the locker room showers. The place he’d first gotten to see Steve in all his glory, the setting of many of his night time fantasies. But in all actuality the location was much less important to Billy than just being with Steve. Billy craved Steve, craved his body, his touches, his breathy moans, and the way he clenched his whole body right before an orgasm. Billy wanted all of him, wanted to do everything with Steve. Tonight Billy knew he was ready, ready to go all the way with Steve. 

They’d been skirting around that particular activity the entire time they’d been together. They’d done practically everything else there was to do sexually. But the unspoken act had been off limits so far. Billy felt unprepared to bring it up, even though he’d wanted to a few times. Perhaps it seemed like an awkward subject to breach because he still had doubts if Steve would want to do that. It seemed like the one thing you couldn’t take back. But Billy knew he wanted to bottom, a part of him that he’d forced down for so long, longed to know what it felt like to be fucked. And since becoming intimately familiar with Steve’s dick, he was more and more sure he wanted that inside of him, fucking him. But there hadn’t been an opportunity or a moment that was the right time until now. Billy wanted this so badly. 

“Steve,” Billy said quietly as he felt Steve’s hands gently rubbing his ass. 

“Yeah baby?” Steve asked. 

“I want you to fuck me tonight.” Billy rushed to say the words and had to bite back the overwhelming urge to bury his face in Steve’s shoulder. He knew his face was probably red, but the foyer was dimly lit so he felt a little comfort from that. 

Steve’s reaction was somewhat comical. He seemed to fight to compose himself, having to close his mouth which had dropped open in surprise. “Do you want to?” Billy asked, fighting through his nervousness. 

“Fuck yes I want that. I’ve wanted that for a long time. But are you sure you’re ready for that?” Steve let out in a long rush. 

Billy leaned in close so that his lips were ghosting over Steve’s ear, “I want to feel your cock inside of me, fucking me.”

Steve’s response to this was to drag Billy by the arm into the living room. “Fuck, we should probably go up to my room. I’ve got lube up there.”

Billy just nodded and let himself be pulled up the stairs, down a hallway to where Steve’s room was. Billy had been in Steve’s room several times by now, but he was always struck by the size of it. The giant bed in the middle, the big desk over against the wall, the large walk in closet, and the en suite bathroom. It made Billy’s room seem like a closet in comparison. Steve shut and locked the bedroom door behind them, you could never be too safe. 

Once the door was shut and they turned to face one another again, there was a hum of energy between them. It was excitement, nervousness, and lust. Billy’s breath caught in his throat as he stared at his boyfriend, wearing light colored denim jeans and a green knit sweater. His hair was perfectly coiffed, save for the spot where Billy had tangled his fingers earlier. His eyes were bright, wide, open, and filled with a burning desire. Billy was certain his eyes mirrored the same. Steve stepped forward into Billy’s space and placed his hand on Billy’s chest. Billy gripped onto Steve’s arm and tried to still his heart which was hammering in his chest. “Don’t be nervous baby, we’ll go slow. I mean I’ve never done this with a guy before but it can’t be that much different.”

Billy swallowed and nodded. “I trust you Steve, more than anyone.” Billy paused for a moment. “But I’m a virgin. I’ve never done this before.” He said, his voice a little shaky from embarrassment. “But I really want to, and I’m glad it’s with you,” He added on quickly to the end. 

Steve leaned in and placed a sweet and gentle kiss on Billy’s lips. “We’ll take it slow and you’ll set the pace. We won’t do anything that doesn’t feel good for you.” Billy wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck to pull him in and deepen their kiss. Billy let Steve push them slowly back towards the bed as they kissed, until he felt the back of his legs hit the bed. Then they parted for only a moment so Steve could push him down on the bed and climb on top of him. The weight of Steve on top of him was exhilarating, the way Steve surrounded him, occupying all his senses was intoxicating. 

Billy was more than happy to let Steve take charge of the situation, both because he was more experienced in this arena and because it felt so damn good to let go. Billy was caught up in the feel of Steve’s tongue moving over his own, exploring his mouth. Billy was so caught up in kissing Steve that he was surprised when he felt Steve’s hand on his bare chest, moving slowly over his nipples, tangling in his light chest hair. “Steve,” Billy whined. “Too many clothes.” 

Steve paused kissing him to help him unbutton his shirt and push it off over his shoulders. As soon as his shirt hit the ground Steve’s mouth was on his chest, licking a warm trail over his heavily muscled upper chest. Billy shuddered in anticipation of Steve’s tongue reaching his nipples, which were so sensitive and never failed to send an immediate rush of heat down to his dick. The sensitivity of his nipples had been a more recent discovery, but one Billy was grateful to explore with Steve who indulged him frequently. The moment Steve’s tongue moved over his left nipple Billy let out an embarrassingly loud moan, but it just seemed to further fuel Steve who began circling his tongue around and around, worshipping Billy’s body. Steve took his time on the left nipple before moving over to the right one to give it the same attention. Billy was writhing underneath him, unable to stay still at the overwhelming sensations of what was being done to his upper body. 

Billy watched as Steve then began to move down his body, trailing kisses along his stomach, passing his tongue over his belly button. Steve began undoing his belt buckle and Billy was eager to aid him in pulling off his pants and chucking them onto the floor with his shirt. Billy smiled because he wasn’t wearing underwear and the way Steve always reacted to that made him strongly consider burning every pair of boxers he owned. “Fuck Billy, you’re perfect.” Steve let out as he stared hungrily at Billy’s already leaking dick. Steve reached out and took him gently in hand, gave the head of Billy’s dick a few passes with his forefinger before leaning down to take him in his mouth. 

The sound that escaped Billy at the sensation of wet heat capturing him was obscene and he knew it and yet he didn’t care. Steve’s mouth was the best thing on Earth, nay, the universe. For a guy who had no experience sucking dick he seemed to catch on quick to what felt good. Knew how to avoid teeth and take Billy down past his gag reflex, almost to the base of his cock. Steve was absurdly a natural at sucking dick and Billy was blissed out because of it. As usual Billy was caught between the desire to tip his head back and close his eyes in ecstasy and the desire to watch Steve take him down his throat. Billy tried his best to watch, tried to keep in the moment as he felt Steve’s hand massage his balls at the same time. Billy was too far gone, could feel that telltale sensation rise up in him, knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. “Stevie, uh, fuck, not gonna last long.”

This just seemed to further motivate Steve, made him suck harder, so he was literally pulling the orgasm out of Billy. Billy tensed up as he felt himself climax, felt himself come in Steve’s mouth, almost down his throat. Letting out a whole slew of expletives, Billy watched in complete awe as Steve swallowed all of his come and continued to suck him off through his entire orgasm. Once he was done, Billy laid there, feeling completely spent, completely overwhelmed with a moment of post-orgasm fatigue. 

Steve moved back up to where Billy was and Billy immediately pulled him into a kiss, desperately wanting to taste his own come off of Steve’s tongue. Steve was more than happy to oblige, laving his tongue over Billy’s at a slower pace, less hasty, more romantic. “You taste so good baby,” Steve muttered against his lips. 

“You’re so good to me Stevie, make me feel so good.”

“I always want to make you feel this good baby. I’m gonna get you nice and ready for my cock so it feels amazing for you. I want to lick you open, use my tongue to get you ready for me.” 

Billy thought he might lose it upon hearing this. Didn’t know if he could speak properly to reply so he just nodded his head enthusiastically. 

“How badly do you want my cock inside you, Billy? How badly do you want me to fill you up so full?”

“So badly, Stevie. You have no idea how badly I want that. Please baby, don’t make me wait.”

“Roll over, baby. Onto your stomach.” Steve instructed Billy. Billy did exactly what he said, and felt so exposed in a new way. His ass on display, directly in front of Steve’s face. It was a little scary but mostly just arousing in a new way Billy had never experienced before. Billy made himself breath in and out from where he propped himself up on the pillows. Let himself get lost in the feeling of Steve’s hands on his asscheeks, massaging him gently, soothingly. Billy finally felt fingers slip in between the cheeks of his ass, parting them aside, and then he felt Steve’s tongue against his hole. Billy let out a breath he wasn’t aware he’d been holding to let out a loud sound of ecstasy. 

Billy was a virgin but this wasn’t wholly unexplored territory. There had been a few times when his curiosity had peaked enough that he let his fingers wander further back and he slid a lubed up finger inside himself while he jerked himself with his other hand. But a tongue was a completely new sensation and it was beyond words. Steve’s tongue brushed quickly up and down over his hole, then moved down to lick upwards coming from his perineum to almost his back. Steve kept making these little noises of enjoyment and Billy was obsessed with them. Obsessed with the way the vibration of the noise added to the overall feeling. 

Billy almost let out a whine of disappointment when Steve’s tongue stalled. “You ever touch yourself here, Billy?” Steve asked him a deeper than usual voice that was still slightly hoarse from the blow job he’d given. 

Billy nodded before realizing Steve probably couldn’t see him that well. “Yeah a little bit. Only one finger though.”

“That’s so hot baby. Imagining you fucking yourself. Gonna need more than one finger tonight, are you ready for that?”

“Yes,” Billy replied confidently. Billy watched out of the corner of his eye as Steve reached up to open the drawer on his night stand, watched as he pulled out a small bottle of lube and then a condom. 

Steve caught his eye and gave a small smile, “safety first.”

Billy smiled back, suddenly feeling so at ease. “Good, I can’t afford to get pregnant right now.”

Steve laughed out loud and shook his head, “we wouldn’t want that.” Steve set the lube and condom down on the side of the bed and went back down to business, returning his tongue to Billy’s slicked up hole. This time he got more adventurous and began to slip his tongue inside the tight ring, and Billy couldn’t help but writhe in place as Steve’s tongue entered him. It felt weird, the tight stretch that it caused, but it didn’t feel bad. Within a minute or two he adjusted to the sensation of Steve’s tongue moving in and out of him and it began to feel really good. Billy was gasping, trying to breath while waves of pleasure rolled over him. 

“Stevie, please,” Billy begged. “I’m ready for your fingers, please.” Billy was surprised at how easy it was for him to beg, how little thought it took for him to beg for Steve’s fingers to fill him up, stretch him out, prepare him for the main event. Billy had no prior experience to go on, but how needy he was during sex was still kind of a surprise to him. Billy heard the bottle of lube open, heard Steve preparing himself. Still, he couldn’t help but tense up the moment he felt Steve’s slick finger slide in between his cheeks. Steve placed a reassuring hand on Billy’s back, “Calm down baby, we go at your speed. I’m just gonna do one finger first.”

Billy nodded and forced himself to relax all the muscles in his body, to give himself over to the experience. He felt Steve’s finger move in circles around his hole, teasing him, making him wait just a moment longer. Until finally, finally Steve began to push his lube slicked finger into Billy’s spit wettened hole. Billy let out an involuntary hiss at the sensation. It was uncomfortable. Not painful, but the sensation was foreign and tight enough that it made Billy grit his teeth. “You okay babe?” Steve asked, his voice a little worried. 

“Yes, I’m fine. Just go slow.” Billy let out quickly. He felt as Steve finished pushing his index finger all the way in and then he stilled, letting Billy adjust around him and get used to the intrusion. He felt when Steve leaned down, his finger still inside, and left a trail of soft little kisses along the small of his back. 

“So good for me baby.” Steve praised him quietly. Billy's heart swelled upon hearing the words. 

“Move,” Billy huffed out as an order. The finger that was inside of him felt more comfortable and now he was desperate for Steve to move, to feel it stretch him open more. Steve began to slide his finger out and then pushed it back in. He started increasing his speed, moving in and out more rapidly, the noises of pleasure Billy made as encouragement. A couple minutes of this and Billy was begging for another finger, which Steve was more than happy to oblige. 

Billy tensed for just a moment at the feeling of both Steve’s index and middle finger entering inside of him. And even though it was tight and slightly painful, the pleasure came much more quickly. It quickly tipped over that teetering edge from pain to pleasure and Billy was lost in it. He was lifting his hips to meet Steve’s thrusts, growing impatient, wanting more and wanting it as soon as possible. Barely a minute or two had passed before Billy was asking for a third finger. He knew he needed three in order to be ready for Steve’s dick, he was big and Billy needed to be prepared for that. 

The third finger was the most painful, it made Billy audibly gasp and Steve stilled immediately worried about him. “Are you okay?” Steve rushed to say. 

“Yeah baby, it’s just a lot. I’m fine, keep going,” Billy directed him, determined to work through the pain. Steve went much slower, pushing three fingers deep into Billy before stopping to let him adjust. Steve was waiting for Billy to give him the go ahead and finally after about thirty seconds, Billy told him to start. “Fuck me, Stevie.”

Steve started his pace slowly but began to work up the speed as Billy loosened up more and more and began to let out moans of enjoyment. Billy was shocked at how good it felt to be filled up like this, to be fucked like this. If Steve’s fingers felt this good he could hardly even imagine how good Steve’s cock would feel inside of him, pressing him open that much wider, going even deeper. “I’m ready Steve, I’m ready. Need you. Please.” Billy whined, feeling like if he didn’t get Steve inside him soon he would come again before Steve was inside him and he didn’t want that. He wanted his second orgasm to be while Steve was inside of him. 

Billy felt Steve’s fingers slide out of him and he almost whined at the emptiness that was left. But he rolled over onto his back, finally getting a good look at Steve. Steve’s hair was a mess, his pupils were blown wide, and his cock was fully erect, leaking precum. Billy sat up and pulled Steve closer to him, couldn’t help but pull him in for a quick and messy kiss. Then Billy leaned down to lick at the head of Steve’s cock, he was all too eager to taste the precum that leaked down Steve’s length. He took Steve’s cock in his mouth, and moaned in absolute pleasure at the taste of him. He could have easily gotten carried away but Steve pulled him off with a warning that he would come too soon if Billy kept going. Billy nodded and reached beside him on the bed to retrieve the condom. 

With slightly nervous but remarkably steady hands, Billy unrolled the condom onto Steve’s dick before reaching for the lube and applying a generous amount. When he was finished Steve kissed him and pushed him back down onto the pillows. “Is this way alright, I want to be able to watch you.”

Billy stared deeply into Steve’s eyes and nodded. Billy watched with bated breath as Steve moved back down the bed and pushed his legs apart. Billy spread his legs wider so Steve would have room to settle between them. Steve slotted himself in between Billy’s legs and moved forward slightly to better line himself up. Steve leaned forward to kiss Billy quickly on the lips, before speaking in a quiet voice, “I love you.”

Billy grinned against Steve’s mouth and gripped his arms tightly. “I love you too baby. Now fuck me please.” With one last peck to the lips Steve turned his attention to his own dick and pressed forward so his cock was flush with Billy’s loosened hole. Steve slowly pushed himself inside of Billy, going slow against the pressure. There was no way Billy could be quiet. The feeling was indescribable. He felt so full, just with the head of Steve’s cock inside of him. He was thicker than three fingers that was for sure. But the slight pain was intoxicating, and quickly morphed into pleasure as Steve finally bottomed out inside of him. 

Steve met Billy’s eyes and the connection between them was intense, Billy felt like he was one with Steve in that moment. Steve was everywhere, in him, on top of him, all around him. One look in the eyes was all Billy had to give for Steve to start pulling out and then pushing back in. Steve’s eyes were ablaze with lust and Billy held his gaze as he felt the insane pleasure of Steve’s cock sliding in and out of him. Steve knew what he was doing, knew how to angle his hips and hold a steady rhythm. Billy was lost in a sea of bliss, his mind was gone. “Fuck me Steve, oh my god, fuck me,” Billy cried out in between moans and babbling noises of pleasure. 

“Holy shit, Billy. You’re so tight, feel so good on my cock. Gonna come inside of you, fill you baby. So fucking good.” Steve let out, in what was surprisingly coherent English considering he felt so far gone. Billy cried out when he felt Steve hit that sweet spot inside of him, his prostate. Steve caught on and angled himself to keep hitting that spot and it was sending Billy over another edge. His cock was untouched between them, but rock hard. He’d already come once this evening but he could feel another orgasm building as Steve fucked him and kept hitting his prostate. 

The synchronicity with which the two moved was magical to Billy. Their emotional and physical connection was overwhelming him and all he could think about was how much he loved this boy. Billy was absurdly grateful to be alive and to be on the receiving end of Steve’s massive cock. Life was worth it just for this, it would have been a sin to die without knowing what this felt like. 

The serendipity continued because just as Steve huffed out a warning that he was about to come, Billy felt the same thing rising up in him. “Come for me baby,” Steve demanded. And Billy felt himself let go, felt himself begin to climax right as he felt Steve tense up on top of him, felt him spend his load inside of him. Billy’s head tipped back in absolute pleasure as his orgasm ripped through him, splattering his own stomach with come. Steve didn’t seem to care and he dropped down on top of Billy, exhausted. Billy, though still blissed out, felt overwhelmed with his love for Steve. For the way Steve was so good to him, and took care of him so well. Billy felt as Steve’s now soft dick slid out of him and he shuddered at the sensation against his now very sensitive hole. 

Steve reached up and tipped Billy’s head forward so that their eyes could meet. They were sticky with sweat, come, and lube but Billy had never felt more comfortable. “That was...fuck Billy. Beyond incredible. You’re incredible baby. I love you so much.”

Billy’s response to this was to bring his lips to Steve’s and give him a chaste closed mouth kiss. “You’re the incredible one Steve. I’ve never felt so good. I love you so much.”  
The two laid there wrapped up in each other for several minutes until the stickiness between them had to be dealt with. “Come on baby, let's go get in the bath and get cleaned up.”

Billy nodded and let Steve help him up off the bed. The first step he took he let out a hiss, he could definitely still feel Steve, there was a persisting soreness. Steve looked worried for a moment but Billy just smiled. “I love that I can still feel you.”

Steve’s face lit up into a smile as he dragged them to the ensuite bathroom. Billy let Steve take charge in cleaning them up and was more than happy to lower himself down into the bath to rest between Steve’s legs with his back against Steve’s chest. Steve ran his fingers through Billy’s hair and it was slowly lulling him to sleep. Billy felt all the excitement of the night crash down around him as pure exhaustion set in and he felt himself falling asleep. In a hazy state Billy let Steve drag him out of the tub and dry him off before leading him back to the bed. Once the two were tucked under the warm covers, the last thing Billy remembered before falling asleep was the feel of Steve’s fingers in his hair and his soft lips trailing kisses across his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently when I don't post for two days in a row I end up writing 5000 words of pure smut. A combination of a busy work schedule and intense heat made this chapter difficult to get out on time but I managed to get this done this morning before my six hour shift tonight, so I'm very proud of myself. I hope you all enjoyed!
> 
> As always, I'm grateful for all the continued love and support!


	27. Christmastime Contentment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmastime festivities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopper's P.O.V.
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Hopper collapsed onto his recliner, feeling exhausted as he watched Jane finish putting the last few ornaments on the Christmas tree. Jane was meticulous, studying the tree with a serious face trying to decide the best location for each ornament. The tree was already adorned with two strands of lights and some red garland. Most of the decorations were already hung, but the last few were the really sentimental ones that had to be placed in a special location. These were the ornaments from Jane’s first Christmas at home, and others that had been gifted by friends. 

Once Jane placed the last ornament in what she deemed to be the perfect location she clapped her hands and turned to ask Hopper’s opinion. “What do you think dad?”

Hopper smiled brightly, “I’ve never seen a better looking tree. Wouldn’t you agree Billy?” Hopper asked, turning to where Billy sat nestled on the couch. 

Billy gave a complimentary nod, “Yeah it looks great kid.”

“Thanks Billy! I’m so excited for Christmas this year, I can’t believe it’s only a week away.”

Hopper loved her enthusiasm for the holiday. She had been a much needed revitalization to his Christmas spirit after spending the holiday alone for so many years. He hadn’t put up a Christmas tree for nearly a decade before he adopted Jane. And the first year she was home he almost forgot about it, and might have if she hadn’t asked him about it. Watching her excitement on Christmas morning and even in the weeks leading up to Christmas made Hopper have a newfound love for the whole season. 

This year there was more new excitement. Jane wanted to be able to celebrate with all her friends so they were having a get together at Joyce Byers’ house with all the kids. The kids were getting gifts for one another and they were going to play games and have dinner. Hopper was looking forward to hanging out with Joyce and maybe Harrington since he was coming and maybe wouldn’t want to spend the whole time with middle schoolers. It would be a good time and Hopper was happy that Jane had such a close knit group of friends. 

Hopper looked over at Billy who was sitting on the couch watching everything. He’d arrived mid-decoration and Jane had roped him into helping hang the ornaments at the top of the tree. Billy was good natured about it, letting Jane boss him around as she kept changing her mind about where a certain ornament should hang. When she was content with his work, Billy had sat down to watch as they finished up, taking it all in quietly. 

Billy was doing really well. He still visited the cabin once or twice a week, usually for dinner. He seemed to spend most of his time with Steve Harrington nowadays, but he kept out of trouble. Things with his father seemed to be going as well as they possibly could, which is to say he hadn’t seen a new bruise in several weeks which Hopper took to be a good sign. Billy was still himself, a little moody on occasion, still chain smoking more than was good for anyone, especially a teenager, and he was obviously still speeding all over town. But all of this was manageable and otherwise he seemed to be in a good place. Hopper was grateful to see the kid doing so well. 

It was as he looked over at Billy that he had a thought. He thought that maybe he should invite Billy to the get together at Joyce’s place. When he thought more about it, he realized that most of the people he cared about in the world would be at that party. Billy not being there seemed wrong to him. It would feel like an important piece of the puzzle was missing. But of course Hopper didn’t know if Billy would even want to come. He had heard through the grapevine that Billy had apologized to all of the kids, something Hopper was immensely proud of. But that didn’t mean that any of the kids particularly liked him, even his own sister had a strained relationship with him. But Hopper knew it was worthwhile to ask him, to at least give him the chance. 

“Hey Billy,” Hopper began. “This Friday we’re having a Christmas party over at Joyce Byers’ place, all the kids are going to be there. I don’t know if you’re interested but if you want to come you are more than welcome. I know Steve is going to be there.” Hopper added on the bit about Steve to the end because he knew it would make Billy more likely to come. 

Billy gave him a strange look in response. “I don’t think I’m exactly wanted there Hop, but thanks.” 

Hopper was about to speak but then Jane interrupted him. “You are welcome Billy, I’d love it if you came. Besides, it might be nice for Steve to have someone his own age there.”

Hopper watched as a wave of emotions crossed over Billy’s face. He looked indecisive, like he wasn’t really sure if he actually wanted to come but he also didn’t want to crush the spirit of a thirteen year old girl. Hopper felt compelled to intercede. 

“There’s no pressure to come, but we’d love to have you there.” Hopper told Billy. 

Billy gave a small shrug, “I’ll think about it.” Hopper gave him a smile and let it go, he’d put the option out there which was all he could do. 

The week flew by in a flurry of snow and work and Christmas shopping. Before he knew it, it was Friday evening and Hopper was packing up the cruiser full of gifts to bring to the party. Jane had insisted on wrapping all of her friend’s gifts herself so some of them were what one might call creative. But it was certainly the thought that counted and Hopper was so proud of how caring his daughter was. 

Hopper hadn’t heard from Billy since Monday night when he’d been over while they decorated the tree, so he didn’t know if he was coming or not. Hopper kicked himself a little because he’d meant to ask Steve about it but had forgotten. So it would be a surprise if Billy did show up tonight but Hopper had his doubts about it, he’d seen how skittish Billy had been about the idea. 

When they pulled in the driveway of Joyce’s house all the kids came rushing out to greet them and helped carry in all the presents while asking which one was theirs. Hopper didn’t even try to bite back a smile at the whole scene, just met Joyce’s eyes and let himself feel gratitude for the positive turn his life had taken. It felt good to be surrounded by the noise of all these teenagers and the friendship of Joyce. Once inside, Hopper went to the kitchen to help Joyce with dinner and leave the kids to whatever antics they were getting up to in the living room. 

“So I invited Billy tonight, I hope that’s alright.” Hopper said to Joyce as she peeled potatoes.

“Who?” Joyce asked confusedly.

Hopper then realized he’d never told her Billy’s name. He’d wanted to protect Billy’s identity, keep his privacy while also seeking her advice. Well that wouldn’t work anymore since he had to tell her that Billy was the kid he’d been helping. Hopper wasn’t worried about it though, Joyce was one of the most kind hearted women he knew, she would respect Billy’s privacy.

“Shit.” Hopper huffed out. “Yeah so the kid I’ve been helping out these last few months is Billy Hargrove, and I invited him here tonight.”

Joyce had a very quick moment of shock before regaining her composure. “Oh wow,” she said as she began slicing the pile of potatoes to put in the pot. Hopper knew she was now connecting everything he’d ever told her about Billy to his face, adding a whole new layer of context. 

“Well he’s more than welcome. I’m actually excited to meet him. You’ve talked so much about him and all the progress he’s made, so I’d love to see it.”

Hopper breathed out a sigh of relief. He hadn’t actually been that worried but it was more of a force of habit reaction. “I don’t actually know if he’s gonna come. I invited him but he seemed unsure about it, you know because of the kids. Him and Steve are fine now, more than fine really,” Hopper added on to the end thinking about what he suspected. “He apologized to the kids but you know it’s still kind of tense. I just thought it might be good for him, I don’t think he gets much warm family time at home.”

Joyce nodded knowingly. “Well I hope he shows up at some point.”

About thirty minutes later Steve came bursting through the front door with a sack full of gifts over his shoulder. Hopper almost had to plug his ears as the excited screams of six teenagers filled the house. Steve was kind of swept up in all of their excitement, as he pulled the gifts out and placed them under the tree. Eventually dinner was ready and everyone gathered around the kitchen table and the card table that had to be added to accommodate everyone. Joyce’s older son Jonathon and his girlfriend Nancy had also joined them by now and were sitting next to each other at the table. Hopper knew Steve and Nancy had dated previously but they seemed to be fine being friends now as there was no awkwardness between them. 

Dinner was a noisy and spirited affair. Dustin and Max had a loud argument about some arcade game they played and he was upset because Max kept beating his high score. Hopper understood very little of what all the kids were talking about but he felt really content. Joyce was by his side, smiling and laughing as they talked. It was a really perfect evening, even if he felt a little disappointed that Billy wasn’t also at the table with them. 

Dinner ended and then it was slow going as everyone moved out to the living room for present opening. All the kids were so excited to hand out the gifts they’d brought and to see their friends' reactions. Hopper was really excited when he saw that Mike Wheeler had gotten Jane a walkman and Max had gotten her a Madonna cassette tape. Maybe finally he’d get some reprieve from the record player. In the hubbub of gift opening none of them heard the arrival of another car. Hopper hadn’t even heard the knock at the door, it wasn’t until Steve came walking back into the living room followed by Billy that Hopper knew he was there. 

Hopper jumped up from the couch and walked over to Billy. “I’m glad you could make it Billy.”

Billy gave a small nod but still looked kind of uncomfortable. “Come on in and sit down,” Hopper directed, motioning for Billy to take a seat in one of the vacant spots. Hopper watched as Billy sat on a chair next to Steve. Joyce looked over at Billy and gave a wave, “It’s nice to officially meet you Billy, Hopper’s told me so many good things about you. I’m happy you came tonight.”

Billy gave a small smile and seemed to relax a little. For the most part the kids didn’t pay Billy much mind, which seemed for the best. Billy seemed most comfortable quietly chatting with Steve over in the corner as the kids showed off and played with all their new gifts. Hopper felt content as he enjoyed idle conversation with Joyce, Jonathon, and Nancy. The evening was winding down a little, a few of the kid’s parents would be coming to pick them up soon. 

Hopper watched as Billy and Steve stood to head outside, probably for a smoke. Hopper watched them go and took notice of how close together they walked. The way Billy’s eyes held onto Steve’s as if he were finding comfort in them. Hopper saw this and understood, felt happy about it. A few minutes passed and Hopper figured he would go out and join them in the cold for a cigarette. He hadn’t been able to talk much with Billy since he’d arrived and he wanted to check in on him and see how he was feeling. Hopper opened the heavy wooden door and was about to push open the second screen door but stopped as he heard the conversation that was happening. And yeah, Hopper felt bad about suddenly eavesdropping on the two boys once again. 

It wouldn’t have even been possible just a few weeks ago as this old wooden door used to have a squeaky hinge but Hopper had just oiled it so now it was silent, leaving him undetected. 

“I’m really happy you showed up tonight baby, really proud of you.”

Billy exhaled his cigarette before speaking. “I did it for you, I know you wanted me to come so I did.”

“I know, and I really appreciate you coming outside of your comfort zone for me.” Steve said softly. 

“I mean I kinda came for Hopper too, he invited me.”

“Yeah because there’s more than just me who likes having you around.” Steve said, his voice gentle. Hopper couldn’t see it, but the pause made him think maybe Billy was smiling. 

“I don’t know why anyone would want me around,” Billy said sarcastically, but in a way that was clearly masking some real insecurities. 

“You’d be surprised baby, you’ve kind of ingratiated yourself to some people who are never gonna let you go now. So get used to people wanting you around. I know I want you around for a long time.” 

Hopper smiled, agreeing with what Steve said. He did want Billy around for a long time. In these months that he’d gotten to know Billy he’d uncovered a kid who just needed some love and support. With that, he’d wormed his way into Hopper’s heart and there was no way he was getting away now. With that Hopper made a big show of pushing the screen door open, making a lot of noise as he stepped out onto the porch. In the quiet night, by the porchlight, and with the view of falling snow, Hopper shared a cigarette with two people he cared a lot about outside the house where all the other people he cared about were. It was a calm and peaceful serenity that fell over him. It was contentment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhhh so I am working crazy hours this weekend (the next three days! boo) so I must warn you all that it will be probably two or three days before I'll be able to post the next chapter. So I appreciate your patience and will be back as soon as possible with your regularly scheduled fanfic fun. 
> 
> Much love and appreciation to you all!


	28. Empty Like a Bottle of Jack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy drinks and sad things happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: Use of a gay slur (in reference to one's self), references to physical child abuse, brief allusions to suicidal ideation.
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Billy felt a knot of tension in his gut as he stared at his face in the mirror. The giant swollen bruise on his cheek stared back at him, mottled, purple, and angry. Billy had gotten home from school feeling great, high off of having just left Steve after spending the afternoon at Hopper’s house. But his mood quickly shifted when he walked inside and was met by his father who wasted no time in pushing him up against the kitchen wall to shout in his face. This time it was that Billy hadn’t taken out the garbage that morning after Susan had asked him to. Billy had heard what Susan said and figured he would do it that night when he got home. Billy tried to tell his dad this, that he would take the garbage out right then. That he was sorry he didn’t do it that morning. But his dad was done hearing him and instead just gave him five fingers to the face, slamming him into the wall and then banishing him to his bedroom for the entire evening. 

Which is where Billy was, staring at the mess on his face. The tension in his stomach wasn’t even really from what had happened earlier with his dad. That was over, there was nothing more to be done about it. The tension now was from the thought that he would have to face Steve tomorrow with a bruise on his face. Everytime Steve saw him like this it was a lot of looks of anger and frustration. It always went unspoken, mostly because Steve was now afraid to bring it up after the last time Billy had reacted poorly. But Billy still dreaded the looks, and the concern, and the anger. Billy went to bed with the tension and anxiety filling him up. He wished there was a way to hide his face from the world, even from the people he loved. 

The next morning Billy managed to make it out of the house without any more trouble from his father. Still, he didn’t let out the breath he was holding until he was speeding down the road in his car with Max beside him on their way to school. Max was silent next to him, but he could feel the questions lingering in the air. It was uncomfortable. Billy tried to let himself get lost in the Led Zeppelin tape he’d popped in the cassette player. But it wasn’t doing much to calm his racing mind. Billy watched out of the corner of his eye as Max reached out to turn down the music, something that in and of itself would make him angry on a good day. 

But then she spoke to him in a quiet voice, “Are you alright?”

“Fucking fantastic Maxine, thanks for asking.” Billy bit back, his voice loud and angry making Max shrink a little in her seat. Billy took a sick pleasure in watching her reaction, served her right for asking stupid questions.

“I’m sorry you’re hurt.” Max added. This made the anger in Billy flare up. He didn’t want her pity, didn’t want anyone’s sympathy. 

“Shut your mouth bitch, I don’t need to hear from you.” 

Max sighed and her hands gripped the edges of the seat. “Maybe Steve or Hopper could help. I know you and Steve are close, you could talk to him, he might know how to help.”

Billy visibly bristled, already on edge, this sent him over the side of the damn cliff. “You don’t know fucking shit, you’re just a stupid fucking kid. Learn to shut your goddamn mouth.”

Max furrowed her brow but remained incredibly calm considering the situation. Her calmness made Billy stomach twist into a knot. “Billy, please.” She begged quietly. “Don’t do this. I thought you were doing better since Steve. Nicer”

“What the fuck does Steve have to do with anything?” Billy bellowed. 

Max was silent for a moment, as though she were deeply considering something. Finally after about thirty seconds she began to speak, choosing her words carefully. “I wouldn’t judge you or anything. I definitely wouldn’t tell anyone...about anything between you and Steve. I know I’ve fucked up in the past with Neil but I’ve learned my lesson and I know how he is, I would never--”

“Max,” Billy cut her off, his voice suddenly quiet but seething with an anger that was suddenly much more serious and real. “You need to stop talking before I leave you on the side of the road, I swear to fucking God I’ll do it. Whatever you think you know, you don’t. You’re an idiot kid, you don’t know anything about me.” 

Max stared over at Billy, suddenly feeling the gravity of his words and realizing she’d embarked down a path that she shouldn’t have. Max just nodded and turned her eyes back to the road in front of them. Staring out at the white ladden trees that were speeding by too fast. 

Billy barely felt like he could hold it together, he felt like he was a live wire about to spark at any moment and burn the whole place down. He was dangerous. He pulled into the middle school parking lot and Max got out without a word. Then he was speeding away from the school, and then he sped past the high school and realized there was no way he had it in him to face the day. He knew there would be repercussions to ditching school but he didn’t care in that moment. Only knew that he needed to get away. One quick stop at the liquor store one town over where they didn’t care to check ID’s later, and Billy found himself back at the quarry. He curled up in the front seat of his car with a bottle of Jack to keep him warm and began to drown all the thoughts screaming at him in his mind. 

Hours passed like this and Billy let himself cry, let the tears dry. Let himself scream, let his sore throat rest. Banged his fist against the steering wheel until his knuckles split and began to bleed. He felt so low, like he was broken beyond repair. Good things came to him but they didn’t stay. He wasn’t worth it, and he had the scars to prove it. The winter sun began to set around four in the afternoon and Billy was prepared to wait out the cold night. But just as the sun sat on the horizon, a set of headlights lit up the area where Billy was parked. And he’d recognized those stupid headlights anywhere. The beemer. Steve. Billy felt like he wanted to curl up and hide. He didn’t want to face Steve. He was halfway drunk and he probably looked like a disaster. 

But before he knew it Steve was standing there tapping on his passenger side window, waiting for him to unlock the door so he could come inside. Billy almost didn’t want to, but the part of him that could never deny Steve won out, made him reach over and unlock the door. Steve entered the car and a rush of cold air followed him, making Billy shiver. Steve looked over at him, took in the sight of him with his messy hair, tear streaked cheeks, bruise, and the bloody knuckles which clutched an nearly empty bottle of liquor. “Hi baby,” Steve said, his voice soft and gentle. Full of love and care. It made Billy want to scream. 

“How’d you find me?” Billy asked, surprised to hear his own voice. 

“I just guessed, hoped you’d be here since you weren’t at Hop’s.” Steve replied. 

“I’m too predictable,” Billy lamented in a gruff voice. 

“I’m glad I was able to find you, I was so worried when you weren’t at school today. I had half a mind to leave early to make sure you were okay.”

Billy shrugged. “I was just here all day.”

Steve nodded and looked over at him with worried eyes. Billy hated it. “Wanna tell me why you came here today?” Steve asked. 

“Max.” Billy said simply.

Steve raised an eyebrow confusedly. “What about Max?” 

“She knows.” Billy whispered. 

“About what?” Steve asked in an almost equally soft voice.

“Us.” Billy huffed out sharply, turning to face Steve abruptly. 

“Oh,” Steve let out quickly. “Okay. And she’s done something bad with this information?” Steve added, wondering what exactly was so bad about Max knowing about them. 

“No! She hasn’t done anything yet. But it’s a matter of fucking time until she ruins my fucking life. She loves to tell on me.”

“I think you should give Max some more credit. She’s really matured a lot and you know I don’t think she would do that to you. Or me. I know you guys aren’t that close but I think she’s able to realize the seriousness of this issue.”

Billy could feel himself slipping, feel the anger boiling inside of him like a pressure cooker. “You really don’t fucking get it do you!” Billy exploded. “King fucking Steve wouldn’t get it. Doesn’t know what it’s like to have a dead mom. Doesn’t know what it’s like to have a dad that hits you over the fucking garbage. Doesn’t even know what it’s like to be a real fag. You could go back and date girls. Live a fucking perfect hetero life, which you probably will because who could blame you. I don’t wanna be like this and why would you? You had a perfect life before me.” Billy felt himself falling. Falling. Falling. Like he imagined it would have felt like if he’d actually jumped all those months ago. 

“Billy that’s not true. I know I don’t understand everything but I’m not leaving you, I don’t want to be straight, and I like my life with you...I love you.” Steve’s voice began to break as he finished speaking. 

“You don’t love me. How the fuck could anyone love me?” Billy shouted. “Get the fuck out of my car and never talk to me again. We’re over. You were a lot of fun but this is over.”  
Steve shook his head. “Billy no, do not do this. You’re angry and sad but we can get through this together. I can help you.”

“Steve,” Billy said, his voice low and almost sinister. “Get the fuck out of my car before I fucking smash your face in.”

Steve stared back at him, wide eyed with disbelief. Steve had tears in his wide brown eyes and Billy didn’t care, he had to self-destruct.

“Out.” Billy added again, giving another warning. With that, Billy watched as Steve just stepped out of the car and walked back to his own. Billy watched as Steve, the best thing to ever happen to him, drove away. Billy let himself sink into the feeling of emptiness that came to him. He never deserved Steve in the first place, he rationalized. This was for the best. Boys like Billy didn’t get happiness. Fags don’t get to have love. Steve could go on and marry a girl and have happiness. Billy didn’t cry, didn’t do anything. 

Instead, he started his car, threw the now empty bottle of Jack in the back seat and began to drive home. It was time to face his dad, deal with whatever he had coming for skipping school. And Billy was fine with it because he was empty. He would take the punches and the kicks because he deserved them. And he would go to sleep praying that he didn’t wake up the next day and definitely not thinking about Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally back after my several day hiatus. I am excited because I have the next week off and I may be travelling to Vermont to visit my editor extraordinaire for the first time in months because Covid-19 has kept us apart for too long! Nevertheless, I will be using my time off to get a ton of writing done and I basically have the entire rest of this fic planned out. That's not to say I know exactly how many more chapters there will be because I've learned I'm really bad at guessing how many chapters my work will be (my editor laughed at me because I originally said it would be like 20 chapters and obviously we've far surpassed that and have a lot left to write). 
> 
> But as always, your comments of support mean the world and I implore everyone both in the U.S. and around the world to stay safe and remember that Black Lives Matter!


	29. Hell or Highwater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hopper talks to both Steve and Billy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopper's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: Brief references to suicidal ideation and suicidal behaviors. 
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Christmas had passed by in a blur, the two weeks the kids had off from school were filled with a lot of get togethers and Hopper was definitely ready for school to be in session again. There was no doubt that Jim Hopper loved his daughter more than anything, but teenage girls could be a lot sometimes. Luckily work was pretty slow during this time so Hopper was able to spend a lot of it at home with Jane. 

The only thing that disappointed Hopper about Christmas break was that Steve was out of town visiting family and Billy hadn’t been around at all to see him. Hopper had assumed Billy must be busy with family obligations over the holiday but he began to question that when he saw Max hanging out at Joyce’s house with Will. Still, Hopper didn’t pay too much mind to this, he was sure when they went back to school and got back to their routines he would be back. 

The week that school started back up was a busy week for Hopper. There had been a huge accident in a neighboring town that had killed three people and Hawkins’ police department had to go and help with the investigation. Then, an elderly man with dementia had gotten lost which resulted in a two day search through the woods that ended poorly because there was no way a man could survive the freezing temperatures. There’d been so much death and so much to deal with that Hopper had been working extra hours to oversee everything. He was again, eternally grateful to Joyce for stepping in to take care of Jane while he worked crazy hours. 

All of this meant Hopper had barely had a moment to stop and catch his breath, let alone stop to wonder where Billy was. It wasn’t until the following week when things had quieted down and Steve was back to watching Jane after school that Hopper first got an inkling that something was wrong. Hopper had come home that first Monday evening after things had calmed down to find Steve slumped on the couch with the TV on but he didn’t really seem to be watching it. It wasn’t unheard of that Billy wasn’t there with him, because he couldn’t come over everyday. But it was unusual enough for Hopper to ask what he thought was a pretty innocent question. 

“Hey Steve, where’s Billy tonight?” Hopper asked as he stood in the doorway stomping his feet to shake off the snow. 

“Hell if I know,” Steve muttered without looking up at him. Hopper was immediately on edge, this was not a usual response.

“Oh, okay. I was just curious. I didn’t see him at all last week cause I was so busy with work. I thought he might come back around now that things are more normal.” Hopper removed his boots and set them aside before walking fully into the living room. This was where he got a better look at Steve and what he saw was a little odd. Steve’s normally perfectly coiffed hair was a little disheveled, like he just hadn’t cared enough to finish doing it. His skin looked almost sallow and his eyes looked less bright than they normally did, more dull. He didn’t look very well, and Hopper was wondering if it had to do with Billy. A pit in his stomach was telling him it might be and Hopper both did and did not want to find out if he was right. 

He took a deep breath before he asked another question. “Did something happen with Billy?” Hopper asked softly as he looked at Steve with compassion on his face. “Is Billy alright?” Hopper added quickly, needing to know the answer as soon as possible. 

Steve finally looked over at him, met his gaze and held it for a moment. There was a sadness stricken across his face. Hopper could almost feel his pain. Steve stared at him a long moment before he finally spoke, like he was choosing his words very carefully. “He broke up with me.” Steve said in a quiet but gruff voice, his eye contact faltering slightly as he said the words. 

Hopper just nodded because he already knew they were together, it wasn’t a surprise to him. But he also suspected that the two of them were naive enough to think he had no idea that they were dating. But mostly Hopper’s mind was racing, wondering why Billy would break up with Steve. Hopper knew that Steve was the reason for a lot of Billy’s progress. It was Steve who had gotten him to apologize to the kids and manage his anger in healthier ways. Billy breaking up with Steve was definitely not a good thing and by the look of it, Steve wasn’t taking it very well. 

“I’m really sorry to hear that,” Hopper said to Steve. Steve immediately glanced back at him, seeming a little shocked that Hopper was taking his declaration with such ease. “You knew?” Steve questioned him.

Hopper nodded, “I knew about Billy, he told me the night I found him at the quarry. What happened?”

“Billy got all paranoid that Max knew about us and that she’d tell his dad. Plus he was all bruised up again from that bastard and he’d been drinking. It was a mess, I should’ve stayed but he was so angry and he threatened violence and I thought it would just be best to leave him alone, cause sometimes he just needs to cool off. But I can’t call him and he’s totally avoiding me at school. I don’t think it’s good Hop, he’s probably avoiding you too and I’m worried about him.” 

It was everything Hopper feared. That Billy would retreat, isolate back into himself, and regress to how he’d been before. All the progress he’d made might be gone. Hopper felt kind of powerless as he sat there looking at Steve and all of his sadness. Two kids were hurt and one kid might go on to keep hurting himself even worse. This was a terrible situation and all Hopper could think about was how badly he needed to see Billy and talk to him. He had to try and talk some sense into him. 

Obviously he couldn’t make Billy get back together with Steve or anything. But he had to try and stop Billy from self-destructing because he was very clearly headed into that familiar negative cycle that he’d lived in before. He had a tendency towards suicidal ideation and Hopper couldn’t help the fear that plagued him when he thought about that. He could not let that boy die and he couldn’t let him just destroy himself like this. He was a good kid who deserved good things in his life but he had no self esteem. He had performative arrogance and sarcasm, but it was all a shell for what lay underneath. Billy was sad, lonely, and shrouded in shame surrounding his sexuality. His life hadn’t been the most kind and he’d had to adapt. But his adaptations and coping skills were not sufficient. He could easily break, as he’d almost done before. 

“I’ll find him tomorrow and try to talk some sense into him.” Hopper told Steve even though he worried that talking wouldn’t do much to help. It was all he really had right now. 

Steve stood up and moved to put his boots on. As he began to walk to the front door to leave he turned back to Hopper. “Just make sure he’s safe.” All Hopper could do was promise Steve that he would do that and it didn’t feel like enough, not when his own heart seemed to echo the look of pain on Steve’s face as he turned and walked out the door. 

Hopper barely slept that night, too caught up in his thoughts of Billy and what the boy was going through at that moment. Hopper’s mind wandered back to all the happy times they’d had, which were abundant. Watching Billy help Jane with her math homework, the smug look on his face when he got all the answers to a category on Jeopardy, sharing easy conversations over cigarettes out on the porch. Hopper even valued all the times Billy made fun of his Hank Williams and Merle Haggard records. Billy was brutal in his teasing about Hopper’s love for Country and Western music but Hopper loved it, loved the way he could tease Billy back for the way all those rock stars looked like women with their long hair. 

Hopper had never really let himself entertain this thought before, but the way he was with Billy made him think about what it would be like to have a son. Hopper never wanted to overstep that line, never wanted to claim Billy in any way. But the boy had wormed his way into Hopper’s heart. He was rough around the edges, he was crass, he was gay, but Hopper thought he’d be proud to have a son like Billy. Someone who could recognize their problems, admit it when they’re wrong, someone who was willing to put in the effort to change and make things right. Billy, for all his faults, had so many good qualities. He was certainly complex but he was human, and the good definitely outweighed the bad. But Hopper realized that Billy probably didn’t think that and it saddened him and made him angry at Neil Hargrove for the way he’d destroyed Billy’s sense of self worth. 

The next morning after Jane was dropped off at school, instead of driving directly to work Hopper drove over to the high school. He walked into the front office and asked the secretary to call Billy’s homeroom and call him to the office. Hopper knew this probably wasn’t the best idea because people obviously might talk about the chief of police asking to see a student. But Billy kind of already had a reputation and it probably wouldn’t phase him. In reality, it was just the quickest and easiest way for Hopper to see Billy and check in on him. 

Billy came stomping into the front office and faltered slightly when he saw Hopper standing there. Hopper nodded and motioned for Billy to follow him outside, even though it was cold Hopper wanted more privacy than he’d get inside with the nosy secretary trying to listen in. Billy followed him outside but when they stopped Hopper could immediately tell that he was standoffish. Billy looked a little worse for wear. He had dark circles under his eyes and a faint bruise on his cheek. He didn’t look like his usual self.

“How are you doing Billy?” Hopper asked innocently. 

“I’m fine, why are you here? I have class soon.” Billy said, his voice quiet and dismissive. 

“I don’t want to take up too much of your time, I just wanted to check in on you. You haven’t been around recently. I just want to make sure you’re doing alright because I care about you.”

“Well as you can see I’m fine. It’s fucking cold and I have class so excuse me,” Billy said as he tried to turn and walk back inside. 

“Steve told me you guys broke up.” Hopper blurted out causing Billy to stop in his tracks and turn back around. 

“What do you know about Steve?” Billy asked in an almost timid voice. 

“Well he was pretty upset and he told me that you broke up with him. I’ll be honest it wasn’t a surprise, I knew about you guys for a while. I think you two are good together, he’s certainly good for you. I don’t know why you broke up and it’s none of my business but I just want to make sure you’re good.” Hopper rushed his words, wanting to get them out before Billy decided to bolt back inside. 

“You’re right it’s none of your business. Now leave me alone old man, I’ve got AP Government and Politics.”

“I’ll let you get to class, but I still want you to come over for dinner some night this week. Lord knows Jane needs help with math and you need to kick my ass at Jeopardy again.”  
Billy stared at him for a moment like he had spoken french. His face didn’t seem to comprehend the words he’d just heard. But then his expression shifted to something darker, angier. “Listen Hop. I don’t need your sympathy or your pity. We’ve had some good times but let’s not act like this was ever meant to last. Just do me a favor and get out of my life, leave me alone. I’ll even try to go the speed limit so you can leave me the fuck alone about that too.” Billy said angrily but trying hard to keep his voice quiet since they were on school grounds. 

“Don’t push everyone away Billy,” Hopper pleaded. “You are worth caring about, my care for you is not pity, it’s genuine. You don’t need to go through life alone.”

“Fuck off, I’m going to class.” Billy shouted at him before turning and quickly heading back inside before Hopper could say another word. 

Hopper was so confused. Why now? Why was Billy pushing everyone away from him now? He’d come so far and done so much to make things right and now he just wanted to forget all of that. He apparently wanted to go back to being alone. Hopper was heartbroken as he stood there in the frigid air of a cold winter day. He felt despair and hopelessness because he didn’t know what to do. And he was used to not always having all the answers, but there was usually always something that he could try. But right now there seemed to be nothing he could do. If Billy didn’t want him to help then there was little to be done. 

Hopper thought about Steve and what he must be feeling. He thought about Billy and what he must be going through right now as he forced himself to push away people who loved and cared about him. It was so unfair. So unjust that someone could just destroy their happiness. Hopper thought back to that night at the quarry and the despair he’d seen in Billy’s eyes at his lowest point. Even at Billy’s lowest point he’d managed to reach out and ask for help in his own way. That thought brought a small amount of hope to Hopper. Hope that Billy could get through this, get to the otherside of whatever this was for him and come back to the people who would still always be there to help him. Because come hell or highwater Hopper would always be there for that kid, even as he broke his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made it safely to the great state of Vermont and am posting this while I sit next to my editor extraordinaire. I apologize for all the sadness of these last few chapters and honestly it's gonna be rough going for at least one or two more chapters so grab the tissues. I do promise it'll be a happy ending though, so keep that in mind to comfort you. 
> 
> As always, thanks for all the kind kudos and comments.


	30. Crash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max has to save Billy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Max's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: Graphic depictions of extreme child abuse/violence, Use of homophic language/gay slurs against a gay person. 
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Max prided herself on her toughness, how she could hold back tears after scuffing her knee while skateboarding, how she could easily beat boys in sports, and how she wasn’t afraid to stand up to people bigger than herself. It took a lot for her to break down, to let herself give in to a sense of vulnerability. Max didn’t exactly know why she was this way, she wondered if it was from seeing her mom cry so much during the divorce and feeling like she needed to be the strong one out of the two of them. Maybe it was just a natural extension of always being a tomboy and hanging out with boys more than girls. Either way, it took a lot for Max to cry and even more for her to let anyone else see her cry. 

The last time Max had cried had been when her mom and Neil sat her down to tell her that they were moving to Indiana. Neil had gotten a new job and so they had to leave California, and move across the country to the middle of nowhere. Max cried because she’d miss hanging out at the skatepark with her friends, going to the boardwalk, eating fish tacos at the beach, and long sunny days. Indiana seemed like a totally different world, a landlocked prison of sorts. Max had cried to herself that night as she lay in bed, thinking about how unfair it was to have to leave everything she’d ever known and all the people she loved to go live in a cornfield. 

Of course Max’s reaction paled in comparison to her step-brother’s. Billy’s reaction, as it was in most scenarios, was just rage and anger. Max had the misfortune of having to ride with Billy in the camaro all the way from California to Indiana and he’d seemed to alternate between playing his rock music deafeningly loud and sitting in angry silence. The ride had made her reflect back on when she’d first met her step-brother shortly after her mom started dating Neil. Maybe somewhat naively, Max had been excited by the prospect of a sibling, so many years as an only child had been fine but maybe it would be nice to have someone to share inside jokes with. 

However, Billy quickly made her realize how wrong her thinking was. He was four years older than her and wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. Billy was sullen and quick to anger, and seemed to go out of his way to display how much he disliked her. The move to Indiana had just made him worse to deal with and Max tried her best to stay out of his way. But Neil was always insistent that he watch over her and drive her to school, the forced nature of their time together seemed to make it even worse. 

The night at the Byers’ house when Billy had gone ballistic had made her snap. Before that night Max had been doing her best to just stay under Billy’s radar and not engage with him. But that night had been terrifying, Max truly thought Billy might kill Steve Harrington. And honestly, he might have. It was that fear that drove her to jump in with a baseball bat that was lying around. Max definitely disliked Billy before that night, but after what she witnessed, she hated Billy. She hated him with her whole being and she was embarrassed to be related to him even if it was just by marriage. 

Max’s hate for Billy didn’t come easy to her even though he was such a huge asshole. She knew too much about him which made him harder to purely hate, although not impossible, he was incessant like that. It had been something she’d taken too long to notice but once she did, she couldn’t help but feel bad about it. She’d noticed soon after they’d all moved in together back in California that Neil was hard on Billy. He was strict and kind of a hardass, but then again, Billy was frequently stepping out of line. 

Still, it shouldn’t have been as surprising as it was, when one day Max got home from skateboarding after school early because of a thunderstorm and she overheard Neil yelling and hitting Billy. She’d peered through the screen door and seen everything, the way Billy cowered in fear, the way he took the punches to the stomach without fighting back at all. It made Max feel sick to see this, to see Billy being hit. There’d been bruises before but they were always easily explained away. Billy hung out with a rough crowd, Billy didn’t know when to shut his mouth, Billy slept with some guy’s girlfriend and he found out. There were millions of excuses and she’d fallen for it. Everyone had.

Max had felt so conflicted. Billy was an asshole but he didn’t deserve what Neil did to him. Max felt lost and confused, alone in her knowledge. She was only eleven years old and she didn’t want Neil to hit her like that. In her fear, she kept silent. But she had more of an understanding of Billy, about why he might be the way he was. She learned quickly after that not to tattle on Billy for all the annoying things he did to her. 

She even went as far as defending Billy after the night at Byers’. Hopper had wanted to arrest him and press charges and even though Steve hadn’t wanted to, Hopper was angry about it. Max hadn’t confessed what was happening but she tried to explain that there was more to the situation and that it wouldn’t be good to arrest him. Max didn’t exactly know why she defended Billy after having to fend him off with a baseball bat. But Billy was a confusing person. He was such a dick but sometimes late at night she could hear what sounded like crying coming from his room. She hated Billy but she wanted to protect the part of Billy that cried. 

Then Steve Harrington had happened. Steve Harrington forgiving Billy out of nowhere and then becoming friends with him was something so absurd that it didn’t seem real at first. Dustin was pissed, he was really close with Steve and took what happened to him at Byers’ really hard. Therefore, Dustin also hated Billy the most out of all of them. He’d given Steve such a hard time about it and Max definitely understood why. But mostly she was just so happy that Billy was nicer now. Steve made him a better person. Suddenly Billy was letting Max listen to her own music in the car, which had never once happened before. He was more open, would even ask how her day was. 

None of it made sense until one day at the arcade when Jane asked Max a question. It was such an innocent question but it suddenly made so much sense and Max felt stupid for not realizing it earlier. Jane had been watching Max play a game, they were off by themselves since all the boys were gathered around a different game across the room. Max had just finished a round and was feeling both smug and proud to see her name flashing at the top of the scoreboard, she’d reclaimed the highscore. 

“Can two boys be together the same way as a boy and a girl?” Jane asked Max in a quiet but curious voice. 

Max turned to face Jane, her eyebrows furrowing. It was a really random question, but Max knew about this kind of thing. She’d heard about the AIDS crisis and how it mostly affected homosexuals. Back in California she had even seen some boys holding hands at night on the boardwalk and in certain parts of the city. 

“Uh yeah, it’s called being gay. Sometimes boys love boys instead of girls. And like it’s the same for girls, some girls like other girls instead of boys. Why do you ask?” Max was really curious as to why Jane would bring up such a question. Jane had lived kind of a sheltered upbringing which made the question coming from her even more odd. 

“Well,” Jane began to say, her volume dropping before she continued. “I’ve seen Billy and Steve holding hands at my house. And I thought maybe they’re just friends, but then one time they also kissed each other on the lips. It was weird because I’ve never seen that before but they’re really cute together.” 

Max’s jaw just about hit the ground. Because it made so much goddamn sense. Billy was gay. And that was not an easy thing to be, Max didn’t know much about homosexuality but she knew it wasn’t a very accepted thing. There was no way in hell someone like Neil Hargrove would be okay with it at all. But Billy had never had a girlfriend, he was always weirdly secretive and even jumpy anytime people talked about relationships. Then there was the way he was obsessed with his hair and had more jewelry than her mom, maybe that should have been a hint. And now he was happier because he was dating Steve.

Steve must be gay too, which was more of a surprise to Max because she knew he used to date Nancy. And why in the hell would Steve want to date someone who punched his face in? Max just figured she really didn’t understand guys at all, they were a stupid creature after all, even the nice one’s like Steve. Max demanded to know everything and Jane told her what she knew. Steve frequently drove her home and stayed with her until her dad got home from work. Billy would come over and hang out a lot. Jane was usually on the phone with Mike but a few times she’d gone to get a drink of water or a snack and seen them together, seen how close together they often sat. 

Not long after Max’s discovery Billy had apologized to all of them for what they had to witness that night at Byers’ and started hanging around more frequently. Dustin was not thrilled about it but Max was actually really happy about it. Now that she knew about Steve and Billy she loved to watch them interact and marveled at the way Steve seemed to radically shift the way Billy reacted to things and behaved. This was what Billy was like when he was happy, it was something Max had never experienced before and it was refreshing. Max knew she had to keep it a secret and she made sure Jane understood how important it was not to tell anyone about it, even Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and Will. 

There were several months of this, and it lulled Max into a sense of safety. She didn’t have to worry about Billy yelling at her, or threatening all sorts of things. She could actually talk to him and he wouldn’t dismiss or belittle her. It felt kind of good to have someone else around the house to talk with and even sometimes share a joke with. It was new and unexpected but Max let herself enjoy this time. But when it all came crashing down, she realized she should have known better than to let herself think it would last. 

The first clue that something was wrong was when Max jumped into Billy’s car one day after school. Max had gotten a perfect score on her history exam she was worried about and she had told Billy about it the other day so she was excited to share her achievement with him. Max jumped in the car excitedly and launched into telling Billy all about it. “I totally thought I would bomb the test but I got an A which is crazy--” Max was cut off by Billy turning the radio up insanely loud to drown her out. Metallica blared from the radio and hurt her ears. Max stared at Billy with a confused expression on her face. 

“What the fuck?” Max screamed as she held her hands over her ears. Billy just stared ahead and began pulling out of the parking lot. Max reached out and turned down the music. Billy turned his head to glare at her. 

“I thought you’d be happy for me, Jesus,” Max huffed out. 

“Why the fuck would I give a shit about your stupid test Maxine. Do me a favor and shut up.” Billy said in a nasty voice. 

Max felt her face heat up a little with a mixture of anger and hurt. She turned her head and stared out the window feeling like a giant idiot for thinking that Billy might ever actually change and be a good person. As soon as they got home Max ran to her room, instead of going to the kitchen to make a snack. She wasn’t hungry. 

Christmas break was alright because she was able to spend a lot of time with her friends and away from home. But the time she spent at home was pretty dismal. Billy was out a lot of the time and would stumble home late at night drunk and maybe even high although Max sometimes couldn’t tell the difference. Steve was gone to visit family in New York so Max had no way of contacting him to ask him what the fuck was going on with her step brother. This was extreme behavior, even by normal Billy standards. He was being reckless and if Neil took notice it would probably be bad. 

It wasn’t until after they got back to school and Max was finally able to see Steve that she was able to sort of piece together what must have happened. Steve looked terrible, bad enough that Dustin had to point it out. Steve gave an excuse about being tired from travel but Max wasn’t an idiot. Billy was nowhere to be seen and Steve looked terrible, they’d clearly broken up and it was not going well. Max wanted to do something, wanted to be able to fix this and get this new and improved Billy back but she was at a loss. Only Jane and her even knew they were together and Max couldn’t tell anyone, couldn’t ask for any help. So she was left to do nothing but watch as Billy’s anger came back and he soaked himself in booze. 

Things were pretty much back to the way they’d been before. Max was baffled that all the laughs they’d shared during those few months, all the bonding over how stupid the midwest was and how bad cow shit smelled, suddenly meant nothing to Billy. This was almost worse to Max because before she’d had nothing better to compare it to. But now she knew Billy could be nicer which meant now he was just actively choosing to suddenly be a giant dick again. That stung more, made the yelling and taunting even worse, because she had something to miss. Max was back to her hatred of Billy. He was so rude and callous that she almost didn’t feel bad on the occasional night she heard crying coming from his room. Maybe he deserved it. Max was fine to let herself believe this. That was until one fateful day after school. 

It had been a normal day, Billy had picked her up from the arcade and driven them home. They had almost an hour before Neil would be home. Her mom was going to be home late that day because she was going to a Tupperware Party at a friend’s house. Neil was supposed to order them pizza for dinner. But they never did get to have pizza. 

Max had been in her room reading a magazine. Homework that night had been light, just a few pages of reading and some quick and easy math. She was laid back on her bed, listening to a cassette tape and reading. The music in her ears was loud, loud enough that it took her longer than it should have to hear what was going on. The yelling. Neil was home and he was yelling at Billy. As soon as Max realized what was going on she ripped off her headphones and ran to the door to get a better listen. Her blood ran cold when she heard what Neil was yelling. 

“You dirty fucking faggot.” Neil screamed at the top of his lungs. Then there was the sound of something falling, then a crash. Max’s hand lingered over the door but she felt frozen by fear. This was something really bad. Neil was never usually this loud when he knew Max was home. 

“You sick fuck. I do fucking everything for you and you repay me by being a dirty rotten cocksucker. Hiding sick fucking magazines under your bed like some fucking fairy whore.” Neil was still screaming. 

Billy was talking but Max couldn’t quite make out what he was saying, he was being a lot more quiet than Neil. But Max heard the sound of another crash and suddenly she was pushing the door open and running down the hall to the kitchen where the noise was coming from. Max screamed at the sight in front of her. Billy was on the ground and there was blood everywhere. He’d clearly been knocked into the kitchen table because it was moved across the floor and there was blood on the corner of it. There were ripped up magazines all over the floor. Magazines with naked men on them. 

“Maxine! Back to your room!” Neil screamed at her. He’d never screamed at her before and she felt scared. 

“Leave him alone!” Max screamed in response her voice sounding more scared than she’d wanted it to. 

“You fucking bitch, you better do as I say and get back into your room or there’ll be hell to pay.” Neil screamed at her as he began to move towards her.

Max was bracing herself. For what, she didn’t exactly now. She couldn’t fight Neil and she didn’t want to be hit. 

“Go Max,” a voice out of nowhere said. Max was shocked to hear Billy speak. Max turned and looked at Billy, saw him trying to stand. He pulled himself up and launched himself back at Neil, redirecting him away from Max. Max watched in horror as Neil grabbed Billy by the throat and pushed him violently against the wall. Max had to do something and so she ran, ran back to her room and slammed the door shut and locked it. She was panicking. Her hands were shaking and tears were streaming down her face. Despite the panic, Max had the clarity to run to her desk and yank open the drawer that held her walkie talkie. Dustin had given them to everyone for Christmas. They didn’t get the best reception but Max was able to reach Jane sometimes. 

Max pressed the button down and yelled into the walkie talkie. “Jane! Jane! Help! Get Hopper.”

Miraculously Jane responded. “What?”

“Get your dad! Tell him to come to my house. Tell him to send all the police. Neil is hurting Billy oh my god hurry.” Max pleaded into the walkie talkie and felt a slight moment of comfort when she heard Jane telling her dad to come. Jane told her that her dad was on his way and that other patrol cars should beat him there, that help would be there soon and that her dad said to stay locked in her room. 

Max nodded as she slid down to the floor and gripped the walkie talkie tightly in her hands as she tried to block out the sound of Neil’s yelling and Billy’s silence. When she heard the sound of sirens approaching she jumped up and ran to the door where she listened as two cops stormed into their house and apprehended Neil, she could hear them tackle him to the ground. She heard when Hopper finally arrived just a few minutes later, she could hear him calling the paramedics for Billy, he sounded distraught. 

Just a moment later an officer knocked on her door and asked her to open up. The man took her hand and covered her eyes as he led her out of the house and into a car that was waiting outside. Max was sitting in the back of Hopper’s cruiser when she saw the ambulance arrived. The first glance she got of Billy was of him being carried out of the house on a stretcher with Hopper walking beside him. Max really wished she hadn’t looked because it was such a horrible sight. She turned her face away and clamped her eyes shut trying to will herself to forget and to stop the tears of pain that flooded her eyes. 

Max heard the sound of the ambulance rushing away but she didn’t look. She didn’t open her eyes until she heard a car door open and Hopper said her name. When she heard Hopper speak Max spun around and launched herself into Jim Hopper’s arms, sobbing. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried and as she apologized for not saying anything sooner. “I should have done something, I should have told someone about Neil sooner,” Max got out between heavy sobs. “Billy didn’t deserve this, he stopped Neil from hurting me. He saved me. I should have saved him earlier.”

Hopper let her cry, let her tire herself out before he finally let go of her and looked down at her. “Max, none of this is your fault. You’re a kid, no one blames you for what happened. A lot of people should’ve helped Billy sooner and we didn’t.” Max was kind of confused at Hopper’s last few words, who else knew? But she felt a little bit better. Her mom was on her way. Neil was arrested.

Hopper stayed with her until her mom arrived and Max found herself being swept away to one of her mom’s friend’s houses. They couldn’t go back inside tonight, they weren’t allowed in an active crime scene. Max was exhausted from what had happened and the never ending stream of questions from everyone. She could hear her mom talking in hushed tones to her friend in the kitchen but as soon as she laid down on the couch, she drifted to sleep. The exhaustion of the day took over and Max fell asleep hoping that Billy was alright because she would only be okay tomorrow as long as he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay ya'll first things first, I'm really sorry about this chapter because I know it's a lot. Secondly...SURPRISE it's from Max's perspective which I hadn't always planned on but it seemed right for this chapter for several reasons. I did at one point want to share Max's thoughts on Billy and reveal what she did and didn't know about his sexuality, relationship with Steve, and the abuse. In addition, I thought it would be slightly more palatable to detail Neil finding out about Billy from her perspective so I didn't have to go into as much graphic detail about abuse, which I never enjoy doing (I love my fictional boys and I never want to hurt them). So using Max's perspective was my way of sort of making this chapter at least slightly more palatable/easier to get through (both to write and I hope for you guys to read). I know this is dark but things will look up soon, there will be a happy ending, that I can promise you. 
> 
> Thank you all for your love and patience for this story. It means the world to me and I hope you feel I'm doing these characters and this story justice. :)


	31. Old Man, Look at My Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hopper visits Billy in the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopper's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: Graphic depictions of injuries as the result of child abuse. 
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Jim Hopper was no stranger to tragedy. Surviving Vietnam and having over twenty five years on the police force meant he’d seen a lot, witnessed death and seen horrifying injuries. There were images he’d seen throughout his life that would forever be etched into his brain and would haunt him until he left this Earth. Friends shot up by the Viet Cong and children mangled up in car crashes. Tragedy was a part of life, it was traumatizing but also made him grateful for his own life and all the good things he had. 

None of Jim Hopper’s previous life experiences could prepare him for when he stepped foot in the Hargrove house and saw Billy bloodied and barely conscious on the floor. It was an act of divine intervention that he was not the first on the scene and that Neil Hargrove was already on his way to a jail cell because Hopper was certain he would have snapped. There was nothing that would have been able to keep him from absolutely destroying the man who hurt Billy. 

Upon first seeing Billy, Hopper felt like he might break down. He felt so overwhelmed by an all consuming grief and guilt because he could have stopped this, could have acted months ago and prevented all of this. But he hadn’t. So he shoved down all of the emotions that threatened to paralyze him and went to work. This was just another day at the job. He stayed glued to Billy’s side until the ambulance arrived and it wasn’t until Billy was safely on his way to the hospital that Hopper went to console Max. 

Max who was just a kid and had seen too much. Hopper stayed with her until her mother arrived, Susan had been out that evening and totally missed getting to see her husband beat the living shit out of his son. Hopper wanted to be mad at Susan but if he was going to be mad at her then he had to be mad at himself. They all had known and done nothing. So many people had let Billy Hargrove down. 

After Max was safe and out of the way, Hopper went back into the house. He looked past the pool of blood on the floor and saw the ripped up magazine pages scattered all over the living room. Hopper set about picking up every single piece of paper, one by one, until they were all gone. Other officers were behind him, securing the scene. But Hopper couldn’t bear the thought of any of them seeing the pages, of anything about Billy getting out. Hopper figured he hadn’t been able to protect Billy from Neil when he’d needed him most, but he could protect him now from being outed to anyone else. 

With ripped up pages of gay porn in his pockets, Hopper talked to a few of the other officers and told them what to do. Once he was sure that the scene was secure and everyone knew what they needed to be doing he walked back to his car and headed to the hospital. He had to go and see Billy. He had to make sure the boy was alright. The drive to the hospital wasn’t that long, but Jim Hopper managed to chainsmoke nearly half a pack along the way, it was one of the only things that kept his hands steady enough to drive and his mind from descending into full blown rage and grief. He had to stay strong right now. 

A nurse greeted him at the door, perks of being the chief of police in a small town, they already knew who he was here for. “Hello Chief Hopper.” A friendly young nurse by the name of Anne greeted him. “I know you’re here to see Billy Hargrove and the great news is the bleeding has been stopped and the doctor is tending to him right now. We’ll know more soon, so you can just wait here and I will update you as soon as I can.”

“When will I be able to see him?” Jim asked gruffly. 

“I don’t know exactly sir, it depends on what the doctor says and if he needs surgery or not.” Hopper’s heart dropped at the mention of surgery but he nodded and plopped down in one of the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. Hopper couldn’t sit still and his fingers felt antsy, he wanted nothing more than a cigarette and silently cursed the fact that you can’t smoke in a hospital. He desperately wanted a smoke but there was no way in hell he was going outside where he might miss the nurse with an update. 

Hopper’s eyes remained glued to the clock across the room and he watched the hour hand move from one number to the next. It was almost three hours before Anne reappeared in the lobby and approached him. She motioned for him to follow her to a small adjoining room where they could talk in privacy. The two sat down in a pair of the same uncomfortable chairs from the lobby. “So I have an update from Dr. Brown, who examined him. Mr. Hargrove has sustained a severe concussion which means he will need to be monitored overnight. His nose is broken but the doctor was able to reset it. He sustained four broken ribs, but there’s not much to be done for them they will heal on their own. He’s got some nasty bruises and abrasions but they’ve all been treated so there’s minimal risk of infection. He’s in rough shape and will need time to heal but he will be okay. We’ll know more tomorrow when he’s more alert, he’s been in and out of consciousness but he was able to communicate where he was so that’s very promising.”

“Can I see him tonight?” Jim asked, wanting nothing more than to see Billy with his own eyes just so that he could be sure that he was alright. 

“He’s asleep right now, he’ll need to be woken up periodically to monitor for any negative symptoms of his concussion. So it’s best for you to come back tomorrow to see him. He’ll be much more alert and able to talk by then.”

Hopper wanted to feel angry that he couldn’t see Billy tonight but mostly he was getting hit by a wave of physical and emotional exhaustion. He reminded himself that getting some rest himself would allow him to show up for Billy better the next day so he nodded and thanked the nurse for her time before heading out to the parking lot. Several cigarettes later and he arrived home to his empty house. He’d managed a few moments to call Joyce to ask her to come and pick up Jane because he had no clue when he would be home. 

The quiet house was a bit of a double edged sword. Even though he doubted he had it in him to explain any of this to Jane right away, the silence was unsettling and made him miss his daughter and the noise she brought into his life. Jim lay in his bed and stared at the bright red numbers on his digital clock as they changed. He felt too keyed up to fall asleep easily. But then he thought about the fact that Neil Hargrove was behind bars. They had a solid case against him, and if he could get Billy to testify, then he’d go away for a long while. Billy was not going to live under the same roof as that man ever again and Hopper was going to make sure of it. It was these reassuring thoughts that eventually let Hopper let go of the day’s events and drift into an uneasy sleep. 

After just a few hours of barely restful sleep, Hopper was up with the sun and racing out the door to the hospital. Hopper made it to the hospital in record time and rushed through the door and to the front desk where he asked about Billy. The receptionist told him Billy’s room number and that was all Hopper needed to hear before he was racing down the long corridor to the elevator. Billy was on the second floor, past the maternity ward. The door to his room was open and a nurse was just walking out as he approached the door. “Is Billy awake?” Hopper asked the kind looking older nurse whose name tag read Mary-Katherine. 

“Good morning Chief. Yes Billy is awake, he was actually just asking about you so I’m sure he’d be happy to see you. He’s not really a morning person but hopefully you can brighten his day. Go on in.” Hopper almost laughed at the nurse’s assessment of Billy as not being a morning person. She wasn’t wrong. In the midst of all this chaos it was comforting to know that one thing was the same, Billy was still grumpy in the morning. 

Hopper gave a small smile to the nurse and walked past her and to the door. He hesitated a moment before sticking his head in. He was met by Billy’s blue eyes and Hopper was immediately overwhelmed with emotion, if he was a crying man he thought he might be bawling at that moment. Because there he was, covered in bandages and stitches, with bruises littering his face and neck, but he was alive. “Hi Billy.” Hopper let out in a quiet voice, trying his best to hold it steady. 

“Hey old man.” Billy replied in an equally soft voice. 

“I hope you haven’t been giving the nurses a hard time,” Hopper chided with a small smile on his face. 

Billy rolled his eyes. “Whatever you’ve heard is a lie, I’ve been a goddamned peach.”

Hopper laughed out loud and with his laugh he felt whatever tension that hung in the air between them dissolve. Hopper walked further into the room, over to the chair beside Billy’s bed and took a seat. Hopper met Billy’s eyes, and the two stared at each other in silence. There was a lot to say and a lot that was unsaid between them. 

“I’m sorry I let you down kid. It should have never gotten to this place. And it won’t again, Neil’s going away. That bastard will never touch you again so help me God.”

Billy’s expression shifted, his eyebrows furrowed for a moment as he took in what Hopper was saying. “I don’t want you to feel responsible for this. I didn’t let anyone help me and it’s not like people didn’t offer. Jesus Christ I had you and Steve after me for months and I didn’t want to be helped.”

Hopper sighed. There was no way he would ever not feel responsible for what happened to Billy. It was the protector in him. He had to protect people and he’d failed this time, badly. But he also figured it wouldn’t do him much use to hold onto that now. It was over. He was going to make sure this never happened again. 

Hopper gave a small nod to Billy, unable in that moment to find the words. There were another few moments of silence between them before Billy spoke again. “Is Max alright?” 

“She’s alright, Neil didn’t get her.” Hopper reassured Billy. Hopper watched as a look of relief washed over Billy’s face. 

“She saved me, didn’t she?” Billy muttered quietly. 

“She called for help.” Hopper added. 

“I’m so sorry for how I treated you. For how I treated everyone. Max and Steve especially. I don’t know why I always treat people like crap, in that way I’m no better than Neil.”

“Billy,” Hopper interrupted quickly. “You’ve made a lot of mistakes and you have treated people poorly. But you are young and you’ve been through a lot. You’re not incapable of change and you’re not unable to fix any messes you’ve made. I can’t speak for Max or Steve, but I see so much potential in you. You are a good person who has been faced with some bad circumstances. I think you might need some professional help, like a therapist. But you are nothing like Neil. You feel bad when you hurt others and you want to be different so you will be, with some work.”

Hopper watched as tears came to Billy’s eyes. “I do want to be better. I’ll do whatever it takes.” Hopper reached out to squeeze Billy’s hand comfortingly. He wanted to sweep the boy into a hug but broken ribs definitely meant no hugs for a while. 

“I’m not giving up on you kid. You can fuck up sometimes, that’s okay, it’s part of being human. But I see the man you can become and I’m here to help you get there.”

Hopper sat with Billy for the rest of the morning. Talked to all the nurses that fluttered in and out of the room to take vitals, change bandages, and bring food. He listened to Billy complain about not being able to smoke and promised to bring him some cigarettes as soon as Billy was allowed in a wheelchair. The two spoke about unimportant things, the weather and sports. Hopper knew he’d need to leave eventually, to go and get Jane. Hopper was getting ready to say goodbye, making one last promise to come by tomorrow with a whole pack of cigarettes. Hopper was just walking to the door when someone knocked, it could have been a nurse but they didn’t usually give the courtesy of a knock. Instead, the door cracked open and in peered Steve Harrington. 

Hopper watched as Billy’s head snapped up when he saw Steve, how he nervously swiped his fingers through his tousled hair. Hopper smiled and motioned for Steve to come in. “Perfect timing Steve, I was just leaving. You can keep Billy company.”

With that Hopper excused himself and walked past Steve and out the door, just as he was closing the door behind him he heard Billy speak, “Hi Stevie.” With the door shut behind him Hopper walked out to his car and lit up a cigarette as he drove towards Joyce’s house. Things were going to be alright. There was a lot left to figure out and a lot of questions still to answer, but Billy was okay. He was going to be okay and Hopper was going to make sure of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boy is gonna be alright. Next chapter is all about Stevie and Billy so buckle up for that my friends.


	32. Love Isn't Always About Deserving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve visits Billy at the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: Brief allusions to injuries which are the result of child abuse. 
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Steve had thought he knew what love was, when he dated Nancy he was sure what they had was it. They had run in slightly different social circles but had bonded over their disdain for Mr. Montgomery’s history class. Nancy was different than the girls Steve usually went after, she wasn’t super popular or a cheerleader. Nancy was a good student, she was a member of the student newspaper and a virgin when they first got together. Steve liked that she was different, he liked listening to her talk about politics and things he didn’t quite fully understand. Steve fell in love with her because she challenged him, she made him want to do better and be a better person. 

The fact that she broke up with him to be with someone else hit him hard. The fact that she called their love bullshit hit him even harder. Steve had never experienced love before and the fact that it had all apparently meant so little to Nancy left him spiraling. What was love supposed to look like if that hadn’t been it? Steve was happy to remain single after they broke up, his heart was too damaged and his mind too unsure to seek out someone else to date. Billy had been totally unexpected. 

Billy was so easy to fall in love with. He was rough around the edges, but that made all the softness that lay underneath even more meaningful to uncover. He smoked like a chimney and was controlling about what music could be playing in the car. He could be rude sometimes and seemed to delight in making Steve yell at him. But he was considerate, always asking about Steve’s day and actually listening. He remembered Steve’s favorite candy from the movie theater and would buy him Sno-Caps and leave them in his locker at school. He would bring him a blue slushie from the gas station when he stopped to buy cigarettes on his way over. He was super sarcastic and had a biting wit, his humor was smart, he gave Nancy a run for her money in the academic department. 

The things Steve loved most about Billy were the things only he got to see. It was the way Billy got so clingy when they got drunk together, the way he loved to cuddle after sex even if they were sticky and gross. The way he looked in the morning, laying naked in bed with just a sheet over him in the morning light, and how the gold of his necklace looked against his smooth, tan chest. Steve loved the way Billy talked about his mom, how he would play with the chain of her necklace when he was nervous. Steve loved hearing the story about how Billy had gotten his ear pierced by a friend and how it was apparently some secret gay code. 

Steve loved the way Billy made him feel. Steve had always felt self conscious about his slender build, about his inability to put on weight or any real amount of muscle. But Billy loved his body, he would go on and on about how hot Steve was, about all the things he wanted to do to him. He loved to trace the moles on his back with his tongue, connecting the dots and making Steve squirm at the pleasurable sensation. Nancy had never built him up that much. But Billy was always calling him pretty boy, handsome, sexy, and going on about how his ass looked in his basketball shorts or in pretty much any pair of jeans. 

Steve never believed he’d have the courage to pursue any relationship with a man, both because of his shame and because there couldn’t possibly be anyone in Hawkins that was like him. But Billy had stormed into his life, leaving a wake of destruction until Steve was finally able to clear the rubble and see into his soul. Billy was so much more than his ego, so much more than the facade he’d created. Falling in love with Billy made Steve realize he hadn’t really known love before. But he was positive that the love he had with Billy was real and he knew that for sure the moment that Billy broke up with him. 

It hurt so much more than any of the mean things Nancy had said to him. It hurt far worse than being called bullshit. It left his heart tattered and in pieces, and left him lost without any hope of being found. It had been right before Christmas break. Steve was supposed to stay home while his parents went to New York, he was going to stay home so he could spend the holiday with Billy as much as possible. Without Billy, Steve had no reason to stay in Hawkins, so he went to New York City with his parents to stay with his annoying aunt who lived on Park Avenue in Manhattan. 

When he was little, Steve loved visiting Rockefeller Center to see the giant Christmas tree. He was delighted to see the Rockettes and their Christmas Spectacular. The energy of the city during the holidays always lifted him up. But there was no joy in any of it now. Steve mostly stayed locked up in the maid’s quarter of his Aunt’s apartment, where he slept on an uncomfortable air mattress. He managed to steal some whiskey and scotch from the liquor cabinet but he could hardly enjoy how expensive they were because he just wanted to get drunk. He wanted to forget about the stupidly expensive black wool peacoat that was hidden under his bed at home with a note in the pocket promising a summer roadtrip to California. 

One night while his parents and his Aunt were out at a broadway show, Steve took to wandering the dirty slush filled streets of the city. He found himself wandering out of downtown Manhattan where all the buildings had overly friendly doormen and into the gritier part of the city. The West Village was dirtier, the buildings less well kept and the people less well dressed. But this part of the city was way more fun looking than park avenue, with strip clubs offering lunch specials and bars with rainbow flags out front. Steve had wandered to this part of the city once before, the summer he visited when he was sixteen. 

That summer was the first time he’d seen two men kissing on the street. It had felt like he was on another planet, this world was so far from Hawkins, Indiana. Back then, Steve had wished he could live here among people like this. People who wouldn’t care about his desire to kiss a guy or his wish to walk down the street with a cute boy on his arm. Now that it was winter, the streets were less crowded but the bars were still open. A few people lingered outside of them smoking. A few men gave Steve eyes as he passed by them, it felt good to be desired. But it made his chest tighten because there was really only one guy he wanted to look at him like that. 

Steve began to get cold so he turned around to head back to his Aunt’s apartment. Back to the nice and “respectable” part of the city. On the walk back Steve began to regret the fact that he hadn’t brought gloves, since the temperature seemed to be plummeting. He buried his hands in his coat pocket only to feel something inside. He pulled out what he found to be a piece of paper and immediately he recognized what it was. It was a note from Billy. A note he’d been given just a few weeks ago. Billy had left it for him, taped to a box of Junior Mints in his locker one day. It was a piece of paper torn from one of Billy’s math notebooks, on the back in neat scrawl were some math equations. But on the other side was a short sentence. 

Thank you for putting up with me pretty boy, you’re more than I deserve. ♡ B. 

Steve stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to stare down at the note. He had thought the letter was so sweet when he’d gotten it. He’d snacked on the candy all day and promised Billy a blow job the following weekend. But now he fixated on the last few words he’d written. You're more than I deserve. Steve kept reading those few words over and over again. Steve gathered over the course of their time together that although Billy was confident about his body and cocky around everyone at school, that Billy also had shitty self-esteem. His humor was frequently self-deprecating. He was absurdly hard on himself for what were minor mistakes. Billy had done a lot of bad things in the past but he had worked to make amends. But in these words Steve saw something now that he hadn’t recognized then. Billy hadn’t forgiven himself. He still thought of himself as someone who was ultimately not deserving of love. Steve felt like a failure for not really realizing this.

Snow began to fall from the sky just as tears began to fall from Steve’s eyes. He wanted nothing more than to hold Billy in his arms and tell him how amazing he was. He wanted to make Billy see what he saw in him. That he was a flawed human, a human who had made mistakes, but that he was a good man. Steve clutched the note in his hand and made his way back to his Aunt’s hoping that his tears would dry by the time he got home. 

************

Steve returned to Hawkins and returned to school. He saw Billy in the hallway and he saw him at basketball practice but they didn’t talk. Billy wouldn’t look at him, wouldn’t talk to him, wouldn’t do anything to acknowledge his existence. And it hurt so goddamn much. It hurt so much to see the man he loved come to school clearly drunk and stumble through the day. It hurt to watch him come to school with bruises on his arms and legs that were from his father. But Steve felt powerless. Billy didn’t want him anymore. 

Nearly a month of this passed by. It was a blur of self loathing and depression. Steve had no one to talk to about his heartbreak. Hopper knew about them but Steve didn’t exactly feel comfortable talking to him about his broken hearted sadness. The loneliness was the worst part because he went from having a best friend to having no one. He had the kids, but they were thirteen and had no idea that Steve had been broken up with. Dustin could tell that Steve was down and Steve tried to appreciate Dustin’s attempts to include him in their role playing games but Steve had no interest in nerdy games. 

It was midmorning on a Saturday and Steve was laying in bed, unable to sleep. Sleep did not come easy to him anymore and he spent many nights laying awake. So he was wide awake when the phone next to his bed rang. Steve wasn’t going to answer it but then he remembered that his parents were probably already gone, they were leaving for Chicago early today for their anniversary celebration. With no one else home to answer the phone, Steve huffily picked it up and answered in a gruff voice. “Hello.”

“Steve!” Max shrieked into the phone. Steve sat up straighter, his attention fully on Max. 

“Hi Max, why are you calling?”

“It’s Billy,” Max said quietly. Steve’s blood ran cold at the mention of his name.

“What about Billy?” Steve asked in a nervous voice. 

Max breathed loudly into the phone for a moment before she spoke. “Don’t freak out, but he’s in the hospital. Neil happened, it was bad. I had to call the police.”

Steve stopped breathing. For a brief moment he was certain that all the oxygen in the room had been sucked out and that he was going to suffocate. He couldn’t speak but Max kept going. “Hopper called, he’s with him right now. He’s doing okay but he was really hurt. I wanted to let you know. You need to go see him, he needs you right now.”

Steve was still sitting there, stunned. “What happened?” Steve let out in a voice he barely recognized as his own. 

“Neil found out that Billy was gay. There were magazines under his bed that he found. I already knew about Billy...and you...you guys together. You guys were good together, you were so good for him. I think he needs you right now.” 

Steve wasn’t even that shocked that Max knew about them. He should have been probably, maybe should have felt more scared but he didn’t. He just wanted to see Billy. “I’ll go now,” Steve said as he jumped up off the bed, stretching the cord of the phone as far as it could go as he reached for a pair of jeans on the floor. 

“Please take care of him, make sure he’s okay.” Max said softly in a voice that sounded close to tears. 

“I promise you Max, I’ll make sure he’s alright.”

“Thanks Steve, you’re the best.”

“Bye Max.”

“Bye Steve.”

As soon as the line was dead, Steve slammed the phone down and raced downstairs to put on his sneakers before heading out the door. He didn’t even brush his teeth or comb his hair, he didn’t care about any of that as much as he cared about seeing Billy. Steve was normally good about abiding by the speed limits, it was something Billy would complain about. He always said Steve drove like his grandma. But today Steve was channeling Billy, racing down the streets of Hawkins without a thought of how high the needle on the speed gauge was. 

He made it to the hospital in record time, and was able to sweet talk the nurse into giving him Billy’s room number. He hadn’t been to the hospital in years so it took him a little bit to find the room but within a few minutes he was standing in front of the right door. He figured he shouldn’t just barge in so he lightly wrapped his knuckles against the door. Nobody said anything so Steve cracked the door open and peered inside. He was met by the sight of Jim Hopper standing in the middle of the room. Billy’s eyes snapped up and met his own and Steve was lost in the sea of blue. He focused on the blue of his eyes and not the bandages covering him. 

Steve realized he was standing awkwardly in the doorway until Hopper motioned for him to come inside. “Perfect timing Steve, I was just leaving. You can keep Billy company.” Hopper then proceeded to exit the room, leaving Steve to stand at the foot of Billy’s hospital bed, unsure of what to say. Turns out he didn’t have to say anything because Billy spoke to him first. 

“Hi Stevie,” He said softly, a small smile playing on his lips. Steve immediately melted at the name only Billy ever called him. It made him feel like things were okay. 

“Hey Billy,” Steve said as he wandered over to the chair next to his bed. 

“I’m so sorry Steve. I’m so incredibly sorry for pushing you away and threatening you. I don’t know why I did it and I can’t bear the thought that I hurt you.” Billy’s eyes were downcast, he looked sad and Steve hated it. He reached out to grab Billy’s hand and was happy to feel Billy squeeze it. 

“I forgive you Billy. I was never even mad at you. I just missed you.”

“You should be mad at me,” Billy muttered. Steve reached out and placed a gentle touch on Billy’s chin to tilt his head up so their eyes could meet. 

“Billy, I love you. I love all of you. I love you when you’re mad, when you’re sad, when you’re grumpy in the morning before you’ve had a cigarette, and even when you use the last of the toilet paper without replacing the roll. I knew you weren’t really going to hit me, I left because I wanted to respect your desire for space, even if it was painful for me. I trust you, and I believe in you. Even when you don’t believe in yourself.”

A single tear rolled down Billy’s cheek. “I just don’t think I deserve you,” Billy muttered in a voice that made Steve’s heart break. Steve gripped tightly onto his hand. 

“I don’t think love is always about deserving. Sometimes it just is. You made me love you, by being you. That’s it. It happened.”

More tears streamed down Billy’s face. His expression was pained. “I just sometimes feel like I don’t deserve anything. Even life. I don’t want to take up space that someone else could have.”

Steve stood up, and with his hand still in Billy’s leaned over to plant a kiss on Billy’s forehead. “I know baby, I know it’s not always easy for you. I’m going to do more to help you and make sure you get the help you need so you don’t feel that way anymore.”

“Okay Stevie. I’ll trust you. Does this mean you want to be my boyfriend again?” Billy asked while looking up at him. 

Steve smiled widely. “Fuck yeah, you’re mine Hargrove. Nobody else’s.”

Billy’s smile matched his own, even with the dried tears on his face he was beautiful. “Nobody but you pretty boy.” Billy said sweetly, with a sly grin on his face that reminded Steve of exactly why he fell in love with this boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE BOYS ARE BACK TOGETHER!!!! This chapter was so fun to write because I got to explore a lot of aspects of their relationship from Steve's point of view. Included in this chapter are some of my own memories from the three times I've ever been to New York City. I'm just a simple country mouse so hopefully my depiction of city life is alright. 
> 
> As always, stick it to the man and fight the power! Black Lives Matter and let's remember to keep the movement intersectional and not forget about our black trans sisters and brothers who are murdered at a disturbingly high rate. Much love to you all.


	33. Stroke of Genius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Billy doesn't know how to dress for the weather but is also a genius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: Brief mentions of child abuse. 
> 
> Be safe and take care.

“You cannot wear that!” Steve screeched loudly as he took in the sight of Billy standing in front of him in a short sleeve button up, which was obviously barely buttoned. 

“This is one of my best shirts, I don’t see what the problem is?” Billy responded, feeling genuinely confused by his boyfriend’s concern.

Billy watched his boyfriend shake his head in exasperation. “Billy it’s still winter, it’s twenty five degrees out, short sleeves are not appropriate for this weather. Why don’t you wear one of the sweaters I got you.” Billy grimaced at the very idea of wearing a sweater. He was grateful for the gifts from his boyfriend but he felt ridiculous wearing a green cashmere sweater. Billy loved his preppy boyfriend, but he did not want to dress like him. 

“I don’t see what the problem is babe, I’m going to wear the jacket you got me so it’ll be fine.” Billy did actually love the black peacoat Steve had brought to him while he was in the hospital. It was a late Christmas gift, and no Billy didn’t cry when he received it, that had been a speck of dust in his eye making it water. 

Billy was thoroughly amused at the way Steve brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Billy, it doesn’t matter if you wear the jacket outside, you can’t keep it on inside. You need to wear something warmer. Besides you can’t afford to get sick right now, if you get pneumonia or even just a cough it could fuck up your ribs again, they’re still healing.” 

The small bemused grin that was gracing Billy’s lips melted away as soon as he heard the genuine concern in Steve’s voice. Steve did make a fair point, his ribs had healed a lot in the last two months and he was just starting to be able to sleep more comfortably. But coughing a lot would be extremely painful right now. Billy stopped for a moment and considered how hard all of this had been on Steve. Steve was strong, had been his rock throughout his hospital stay, and especially during all the interviews with both police and social workers. Billy knew he wouldn’t have made it through all of that without Steve’s steady reassurances. 

Billy supposed the least he could do was change his stupid shirt to make his boyfriend happy, but he was not wearing a fucking sweater. Billy stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck and placed his forehead against Steve’s to stare him directly in the eyes. “Okay pretty boy, calm down. I’ll put a long sleeve shirt on under this shirt, then I’ll be toasty warm. Is that alright?” Steve smiled at him and gave a small nod before he tilted his head up just slightly to reach Billy’s lips. 

“Yes that’s fine,” Steve whispered in between quick pecks. Billy began to deepen their kiss and smiled into it because Steve was calm again and after nearly two months of extreme physical pain, this was the first time he’d been able to hold and kiss his boyfriend without a shooting pain in his midsection. Billy could already feel himself slipping away a little, slipping head first into the lake of burning lust. It had been too long since they’d been able to do anything remotely sexual together and Billy was feeling desperate. Even though a dull ache persisted in his abdomen, he considered that it would be worth the pain to sink down onto his knees and take Steve in his mouth, because god he’d been missing that. 

But before he could even fully entertain the thought a knock on the door broke the moment. The knock on the door was followed by Max screaming at them, “Hey meatheads, hurry up. If we don’t leave soon we’ll be late for dinner.” Billy sighed as Steve stepped back to allow him to put on the long sleeve shirt. 

“We’ll be ready in five Maxine, calm your tits.” Billy screamed. Steve gave him a pointed look at the language Billy had used and Billy just gave an innocent shrug. His new therapist had told him about prioritizing progress over perfection. And besides, no matter how much therapy Billy had he was always going to be himself, which would inevitably include a lot of swearing and yelling. Billy hastily added the second shirt and made Steve give him one more kiss before he walked over to open the door. Max was waiting in the living room, sitting beside Susan who was watching TV. 

Billy had been somewhat surprised that Susan had asked him to stay at the house with them. He kind of figured since she was divorcing Neil why would she want to keep his deadbeat son around? But it was kind of nice, even if a bit awkward sometimes. Billy had never allowed himself to really get to know Susan, had always shoved away her attempts at bonding for fear that she was trying to replace his mom. But Susan was trying really hard and Billy figured he should at least try to match her efforts. 

Neil’s trial had been quick. With the interviews Billy gave to the police and the fact that Neil ended up pleading guilty, Billy hadn’t even had to testify in court. Neil had gotten ten years in prison and was up somewhere near Indianapolis. It wasn’t nearly long enough but there was also a restraining order so Billy felt confident he’d never have to see the man again. Billy remembered the feeling of Hopper holding him as he broke the news of how long Neil was being sentenced. 

Billy had cried because he was finally free of so much. He was free of fear, he was free of abuse, he was free of that hatred. But a part of him had also cried out of grief, grief at no longer having any parents. His mom was dead and his dad was out of his life. Even though Neil had been awful, he was still his father. Billy’s new therapist Melody, told him it was normal to miss his dad even if his dad had always hurt him. Billy felt better knowing he wasn’t crazy for grieving the man who had caused him so much pain. 

But all of that was in the past now. Now Billy got to sit behind the wheel of his car and hold his boyfriend’s hand while his sister sat in the backseat. They were all headed over to Joyce Byers’ house for dinner, the whole gang was going to be there. And there was no need to hide anything because Billy had given the okay for Steve to tell the kids about them. Billy hadn’t been there when he did, but apparently Dustin had almost short circuited from shock. But everyone came around to the idea eventually. This was the first time they were all getting together and rather than feel nervous, Billy just felt content. With one hand in Steve’s and the other on the steering wheel while Hall and Oates played quietly in the background, Billy felt like maybe everything he’d gone through had been worth it if it brought him to this point. 

Billy pulled into the Byers’ driveway and parked next to Hopper’s cruiser. It seemed like pretty much everyone was already there. It was such an absurd sense of deja vu for Billy to be walking up this driveway, knowing that not that many months ago he’d ventured up this driveway to beat up the man who was now walking beside him. Instead of walking inside with anger in his heart to see fear in the eyes of a bunch of eighth graders, now Joyce Byers pulled him into a hug and welcomed him. Hopper gave him a light pat on the shoulder as a greeting. Billy had just seen Hopper the night before since he now officially shared Jane and Max babysitting duties after school. Billy still ate dinner at Hopper’s house several nights a week, the only difference now was that Steve was usually there too. 

Dinner was a lighthearted and jovial affair. Nancy Wheeler was rambling about her college acceptance letters. Steve was chatting with Dustin about an upcoming school dance. Billy was mostly quiet, he kind of enjoyed just taking everything in, taking turns listening to all the different conversations going on around him. Billy made eye contact with Will who was sitting across the table from him. Billy liked the kid, he had heard the kid had an abusive asshole for a father too, he’d just been lucky enough to have a mom who kicked the asshole out of the house. More than that, Billy felt a sense of connection to the kid. It was pretty obvious to Billy that the kid was like him, that he was gay. Billy gave a small smile and noticed how the kid blushed slightly when they made eye contact. It was cute. Billy would have given anything at that age to be able to see a real life relationship that looked like his desires. He hoped that maybe Steve and him could be a role model, make things a little easier for Will. 

The night was an overall success even though Steve had to jump in between Billy and Dustin as their argument over which Lord of the Rings book was the best. Steve had tried to shoot Billy a look suggesting that he shouldn’t get so heated in an argument about a book with a fourteen year old, but he couldn’t be stopped. Finally Steve stepped between them and dragged Billy outside for a cigarette. Hopper and Joyce joined them after a few minutes and the four of them traded small talk as they all smoked. Billy took notice of how close Hopper and Joyce seemed to be standing and made a mental note to tease Hopper about it the next time they were alone together. 

The night ended after a few hours and finally Billy and Steve were back in the Camaro. Max was going home with Jane for a sleepover, so they were alone in the car. Even though Billy was driving he couldn’t keep his hands off Steve. He let his hand slide up and down Steve’s thigh, as he drove along the snow cleared back roads. He particularly delighted in the way his movement made Steve fidget in the seat beside him. “Billy,” Steve whined to him. “You gotta stop.”

Billy came to a stop sign and took the chance to look innocently over at Steve. “What do you mean pretty boy?”

“God Dammit Billy, you know what I mean. I want to but my parents are home and we obviously can’t go back to your place. There’s nowhere for us to go.”

Billy’s next idea was a stroke of genius and a true testament to how badly he wanted his boyfriend’s dick in his ass. Billy quickly clicked on his blinker to turn left instead of continuing straight ahead. Steve looked confused, “where are you going?”

Billy grinned as he pressed his foot harder on the pedal. “School parking lot. So we can fuck in the backseat.” Billy watched out of the corner of his eye as Steve’s face cycled through a few emotions. Finally he settled on an expression of pure lust. 

“You’re a fucking genius.” Steve muttered as he stared out into the darkness passing them by. 

Billy smirked. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll we are finally getting this boy some therapy. I didn’t go too much into it but I thought it was important to mention because mental health care is HEALTH CARE and there is no shame in needing help, especially for boys and men who face more stigma about therapy. As a future mental health care professional, it is something near and dear to my heart. 
> 
> I am sad to say we are nearing the end of this story, I’m guessing there will be maybe 1 or 2 more chapters plus an epilogue. Your love and support on this work has been truly inspiring and has helped keep me writing.


	34. Car Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the chapter title suggests, this is a chapter about car sex. That's it. And you're welcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve's P.O.V.
> 
> CW: This chapter contains safe but unprotected sex. 
> 
> Be safe and take care.

Most of Steve Harrington’s life had been about appearance and seeking the approval of others. His parents were loving, but busy with work and their own social lives. They cared a lot about projecting the image of the perfect family and this meant Steve had to be the perfect son. Steve was a natural in social situations, he knew how to charm his mom’s friends and would laugh along with his dad’s friends during golf outings, even if he didn’t understand what they were laughing about. 

Just because these things came easily to him didn’t mean he didn’t feel pressure. Steve had felt pressure his whole life, the pressure to be good enough for his parents to brag about. He was good looking and charming but his grades in school weren’t the best. There was always this pressure to present the image of the perfect, all american, upper middle class family. It was this pressure that made it so hard for Steve to deal with his attraction to boys. Having lustful thoughts about boys was not a part of the perfect image. Nancy had been a perfect addition to this image, and it was only in hindsight did Steve start to realize that a lot of his attraction to her was how well she bolstered his appearance. 

After Nancy dumped him it left him feeling worthless and heartbroken. Even though it had been a horrible time in his life it was the beginning of him questioning his family’s desire for perfection. Maybe caring about appearance when it was an unauthentic facade wasn’t worth it? Steve began questioning these things just as Billy apologized to him. Just as Steve was starting to reconstruct some of his worldviews, Billy came into his life, bringing with him so many answers. The confusion Steve had faced since puberty about whether or not he was gay suddenly made sense because Billy told him about bisexuality. Could he love another man the way he loved a woman? Yes. Billy showed him exactly how beautiful and deep that love could be. 

The fact that Steve now, not only had a boyfriend, but was out about it to many of the people in his life left him feeling incredulous. Steve knew that less than a year ago he was in such a different place, a darker and more uncertain place. But in a small amount of time everything had changed, things had gotten so much better than he could have ever imagined. There were still a lot of uncertainties in life but Steve didn’t care about them. He was done worrying about appearances, now all he cared about was following his happiness. And his happiness was always with Billy.

Steve, for once, didn’t have a sarcastic comment to make about the way Billy was speeding down the darkened streets of Hawkins. Sarcasm was far from his mind at the moment because of the way Billy’s hand rubbed on his upper thigh, dangerously close to his dick, but at the same time still too far. Between their breakup and Billy being injured, it had been almost three months since they’d had sex, or done anything besides kiss. Billy had tried to initiate sex shortly after he’d come home from the hospital, had insisted it didn’t hurt that bad. But Steve could see right through him, knew him too well to say yes. Frankly, Steve thought he deserved an award for turning down sex with his insanely hot and horny boyfriend. But in the end, Steve would never let Billy hurt himself. 

Steve glanced over at Billy, whose eyes were on the road, a smug smile still played on his lips. Billy was a lot of things, humble was not one of them. Perhaps it was Steve’s fault for calling him a genius, it just stroked his boyfriend’s ego. In reality though, Steve was more than happy to build up the ego of the man he loved, and car sex was a pretty genius idea considering their limited options. 

Billy drove them to the far corner of the school parking lot, so they were tucked away behind the gym and safely hidden from view. Billy had barely stopped the car before he reached over and grabbed Steve by the neck, roughly pulling him into a kiss. Steve was only shocked for a moment before he was overwhelmed by the feeling of Billy’s tongue moving over his, the all encompassing feeling of Billy in his space felt so right, and it had been too long since the last time they’d been able to do this. Since the hospital, all their kissing had been soft and gentle, having to keep in mind that Billy was injured. But Billy seemed more than fine as he practically climbed over the center console and onto Steve’s lap. 

“Whoa babe, be careful. What are you doing?” Steve chastised against Billy’s lips as they kissed. 

“Need you,” Billy huffed out quickly, seemingly unable to remove his lips from Steve’s. The car was cramped and Billy’s head was brushing against the ceiling but he managed to straddle Steve’s legs. 

“Are you sure your ribs are alright? You’re not in pain?”

Billy sounded annoyed when he spoke, “Jesus Steve, I’m fine. I’m not in a lot of pain.”

“A lot? Billy, you shouldn’t push yourself.” Steve interjected softly. 

Steve let out a moan of surprise when he felt Billy quickly reach his hand down between them and roughly grab at his hardening cock through the fabric of his jeans. “Stevie, I’m fine. I want to have sex with my boyfriend so if my boyfriend could shut up that would be great.”

Steve figured he wasn’t in the position to deny his boyfriend, especially given the fact that his dick was already straining in his jeans and it had been too fucking long since he’d gotten to see Billy down on his knees. Steve shrugged off any remaining worries he had about his boyfriend and reminded himself to trust Billy. Steve tended to have a hard time not worrying about everything but in this moment, the lust he felt towards the insanely hot boy straddling his legs helped the worry fade away. 

Steve allowed himself to get lost in kissing Billy, get lost in the feeling of Billy’s fingers carding through his hair, tugging gently in exactly the way that Steve loved. Steve loved the feeling of Billy taking control, invading his mouth, biting at his lips. Billy was a force to be reckoned with, the weight of him against Steve’s body, the hard, firm lines of his muscles, and the sure movements of his hands all made Steve squirm. Steve let his hands roam over his boyfriend's back, feeling the smooth skin there, all the way down to his denim clad ass. 

“Babe, we should move this to the backseat.” Billy suggested in between kisses. Steve only nodded in response, his mind too far gone to say anything. Steve watched as Billy opened up the passenger side door and climbed out, Steve grimaced because he felt so cold in the absence of Billy. Steve watched as Billy scrambled into the cramped back seat before sliding his own seat forward and climbing back to join him. As soon as he shut the door behind him, Steve launched himself forward to meet Billy’s lips again. 

Billy acquiesced and let him take control of the kiss this time. Steve felt a rush of heat in his lower stomach as he climbed on top of Billy, pushing his boyfriend down onto the backseat. With one leg resting between Billy’s legs, Steve could already feel the press of Billy’s growing erection. Steve head swam with desire, it had been so long since he’d gotten to see Billy’s dick, taste him. As Steve continued to explore Billy’s mouth, he began to press his knee against Billy’s erection, delighting in the way Billy began to squirm as his discomfort grew. 

“Baby,” Billy whined breathlessly in between kisses. “Please.” Steve smiled against Billy’s lips, he absolutely loved the way Billy whined and pleaded for him. Macho Billy was hot as fuck, but there was something out of this world arousing about seeing Billy let his guard down and whine and plead without any embarrassment. He acted as if Steve wouldn’t give him exactly what he wanted, but Steve always did and always would. There was no way he’d ever leave Billy wanting for anything that made him happy and gave him pleasure. 

“You want me to touch you baby? Want me to touch your cock?” Steve teased. 

“Yes, fuck Steve. Please touch me already, need you so bad.”

Steve, never one to deny the man he loved, reached down and with one hand unbuttoned and slid down the zipper of Billy’s jeans. Steve grabbed a hold of Billy’s hard cock and pulled him free from the jeans. Billy gasped the moment that Steve touched him, the warmth of Steve’s hand juxtaposing the cooler air. Steve giggled at Billy’s reaction, pleased with himself for pulling such a response out of his boyfriend. Steve used his spit slickened hand to rub Billy, delighting in all the noises he drew from Billy. But it wasn’t enough for him, Steve was overwhelmed by his sudden desire to taste Billy’s length on his lips. 

Steve let his lips wander along Billy’s smooth, freshly shaven jawline, all the way up to Billy’s left ear, where he whispered his desire to Billy. “I want you to fuck my mouth.”  
Billy’s reaction was barely coherent, just a mess of noises, but it was abundantly clear that he was very much onboard with this idea. Billy pushed himself further up on the seat to give Steve more room on the other end of the bench seat to settle in between his legs. Steve looked up into Billy’s lust-darkened blue eyes and the sight of his messy golden curls and was blown away by how gorgeous his boyfriend was. The fact that he got to be with this man and love this man felt too good to be true sometimes. Billy with his kind eyes, dirty jokes, sarcasm, nicotine addiction, and beautiful curls was all his and there was nothing he valued more in the world. 

Steve moved his eyes down to the prize, which was Billy’s hard cock in front of his face, already leaking precum. Steve wasted no time in reaching his tongue out for a taste, the musky heady scent of Billy combined with the saltiness of his come made for a dazing experience of pleasure. Billy was loud, as Steve licked slowly around the head of his circumcised dick. Steve moved slowly, licking long stripes up and down the length of Billy’s dick, burying his nose in the light brown hair around the base. Steve breathed in deeply, obsessed with the smell that was purely Billy. Trailing his tongue back up the length of Billy’s dick he did one last lick around the head of his cock before taking Billy swiftly, in one motion down to his throat. 

The first thing Steve noted was that Billy’s hands went flying to his head and his fingers twisted up in his hair, pulling gently. The second thing Steve noted was the strain of his own cock in his jeans. The all encompassing feel, taste, and smell of Billy in his mouth sent a rush of blood straight to his own dick, making the discomfort slide over into almost pain. Steve began moving his head up and down on Billy’s cock, sucking in a manner which created some obscene noises. At the same time, with one hand Steve reached down to unbutton his own pants. Had there not been a dick in his mouth he would have breathed out a sigh of relief when he pulled his hard cock out of his pants. However, his mouth was a bit occupied. 

Once the pressure on his own dick was relieved, Steve moved his hands up to grip at Billy’s waist, stilling the small upward motions he was making. Steve knew Billy wanted to let go, to fuck his mouth without abandon, but Steve wanted to savor the experience and make it last a little longer. Plus, he liked making his boyfriend wait sometimes, giving him a lesson in delayed gratification. Steve concentrated on the feel of Billy in his mouth, of trying to take him deeper and deeper into his mouth. He knew he could suppress his gag reflex and take Billy down his throat but it took a lot of concentration. 

After a few minutes of trying Steve was finally able to take Billy down his throat, and the feeling was indescribable. The headiness of the experience brought on by the quick moments of oxygen deprivation combined with the feeling of Billy’s fingers in his hair pulling, made Steve just about lose it. Finally, he loosened his grip on Billy’s waist, signalling for him to let go. And let go he did, Billy began jerkily thrusting his hips upward to meet Steve’s movements. Steve was completely spaced out, lost in a world of Billy. The pleasureful yet rough sensation of Billy fucking his throat was something Steve had no idea he would like, but curiosity had gotten the better of him once before and now he was obsessed with the way Billy lost control. He was consumed by the feeling of his body being used like this, used to give the man he loved such intense pleasure. 

Billy’s grip in his hair tightened and the movement of his hips began to falter letting Steve know he was about to come. Steve moved his hands to Billy’s hips to still him and pulled his mouth off of Billy’s cock. With one hand he rubbed Billy’s cock in front of his face and it wasn’t even a full thirty seconds before Billy came, shooting strings of come onto Steve's face. Steve watched as Billy's body shook slightly post orgasm, as waves of pleasure continued to roll over him. 

Finally, Billy’s eyes met his, and his pupils were blown wide. Billy’s surprised expression upon seeing the come on Steve’s face was satisfying. Steve let Billy’s strong arms pull him back up so that their faces were close together. “Fuck baby, you look good like that.” 

Steve smiled, but didn’t say anything, knowing his voice was probably wrecked right now. Instead, he leaned in and captured Billy’s lips with his own, making Billy taste his own come. Billy took great care to clean Steve’s face and share the taste of himself between them as their tongues moved over one another’s. Finally, Billy broke away from him and stared at him with hungry eyes. “I need you to fuck me Stevie.”

Steve wanted this more than anything else, but he thought of a problem. “We don’t have a condom,” Steve muttered frustratedly. 

“I don’t think we need one baby. I haven’t been with anyone but you. Are you safe?” Billy asked him in a soft voice. 

Steve nodded quickly. “Of course. There’s been no one but you baby.”

“Then we don’t need a condom. Fuck, I want to feel you come inside me so bad.” Billy murmured breathlessly, like the thought was already taking his breath away. Steve just nodded, feeling kind of dumbfounded by such an exciting prospect. Billy sat up and maneuvered Steve so that he was sitting up. The first order of business was Billy pushing Steve’s pants and underwear down and out of the way in one fell swoop. Steve watched in pure and silent excitement as Billy managed to sink down onto the small space on the floor in front of him. It was cramped even with the two front seats pushed all the way forward but he made it work with determination. 

Billy wasted no time in taking Steve’s dick into his mouth, patience never was one of his virtues. But in this moment Steve was more than fine with that. Steve let out a loud moan at the feeling of Billy taking him in his mouth, just to his gag reflex. Steve finally got his wish, getting to look down at the sight of Billy sucking his cock, while using his two hands to rub the base of his cock and play with his balls. Steve was already so far gone, it was almost a wonder he hadn’t come untouched while Billy had fucked his throat. But he knew he wasn’t going to last long, he didn’t have it in him and it had been too long since he’d gotten this. In less than five minutes, Steve embarrassingly came, shooting his load down Billy’s throat and watched wide eyed as Billy swallowed all of his come. Billy pulled off of him unceremoniously, and Steve was pulling him up off the floor and on top of him.

With Billy straddling his legs, Steve gave Billy a quick kiss before bringing a finger to his mouth. Billy got the message immediately and began licking Steve’s finger, taking it into his mouth just as he had done to Steve’s dick just a minute ago. Once Steve’s finger was sufficiently slick, he slid his hand around to Billy’s asshole and played around the entrance, teasing. “You sure about this?” Steve questioned in a concerned voice. They’d never fucked without lube before, and even though he was desperate for it, he was also worried it might be painful for Billy. 

“I’m sure Stevie. I’ll let you know if it’s too much. Besides, I’ve been playing by myself a little, shouldn’t be too tight.”

Steve made a pouting face upon hearing that Billy was touching himself without Steve being there. Billy laughed at his expression. “Don’t be upset baby, just always wanna be ready for you.”

Steve gave a small smile, to let Billy know that he wasn’t really mad. But at the same time he began pushing his spit-slickened finger into Billy. Billy was facing him, his head ducked down because of the low ceiling, and gripping tightly onto Steve’s shoulders. Steve could feel his boyfriend grimace and let out a little gasp as Steve’s finger bottomed out inside of him. “You okay baby?” Steve asked while looking in his eyes. Billy nodded. 

“Yeah, baby. Fuck me slowly.” Steve obliged and began moving his finger out of Billy slowly, all the while watching his eyes to make sure he wasn’t hurting his boyfriend. After about a minute Billy gave a small nod and Steve began to increase his speed, until finally Billy pushed back against him to meet his thrusts. 

“Fuck baby, need another,” Billy whined. Steve moved his hand and presented another finger to Billy for him to lick. The obscenity of watching Billy suck two fingers in preparation for them to fuck him made Steve’s soft dick begin to harden again. When he was satisfied, Steve moved his hand back down to Billy’s hole and slowly pushed the two fingers inside of him. Billy took the second finger easier than the first, and in much less time was already fucking himself on Steve’s fingers. 

Steve was prepared to add a third finger but when he brought his hand up Billy shook his head. “Just fuck me already Stevie. I’m ready.”

Steve wasn’t sure if he actually believed Billy but he definitely couldn’t say no to what Billy was asking. So he watched as Billy obscenely spit into his own hand and reached down to grab Steve’s cock, slicking him up. When Billy appeared satisfied, he shuffled forward slightly, pressing in close to Steve’s chest so he could better line his hole up to Steve’s cock. Steve let Billy angle himself, and grab a hold of Steve’s cock and line himself up. Steve watched with bated breath as Billy began to lower himself down on Steve’s erect dick. He moved painstakingly slow, taking what seemed like hours just to press down onto the head of Steve’s cock. 

Steve huffed out a breath as the feeling of warmth encapsulated him, the tight heat of it all was intoxicating. It got him every damn time. “Fuck fuck fuck,” Steve let out. 

Billy grinned smugly. “Feel so good inside me baby.” 

After about a minute Billy finally bottomed out, and the thrill of looking down to see their pubic hair touching got Steve in a whole new way. Billy was gripping tightly onto Steve, clutching him like his life depended on it. Finally, after he’d grown used to the full sensation he began lifting himself up off Steve’s dick, still going slow. Until he was just about to come off of him and then he started sliding back down. The feeling was a little more rough without lube, but Billy found that he didn’t mind. The slight pain began to quickly morph into a kind of pleasure. Once that wave of pleasure hit him, Billy let himself go and began riding Steve’s cock without abandon. 

Steve’s head fell backwards as immense waves of pleasure rolled over him from Billy’s movements. This was the first time Steve had ever fucked someone without a condom. It was way fucking better. “Oh fuck,” Billy moaned. “You feel so good Stevie, fuck me so good.”

Steve loved how much Billy chattered away while he got fucked. Billy was fucking himself quickly, moving up and down on Steve’s dick as much as he could given the tight space of the backseat. “Fuck baby, gonna come soon, not gonna last,” Steve huffed out in between hurried breaths. 

Steve felt apologetic that he wasn’t going to last any longer but it was all too overwhelming and he could already feel that wet heat pooling in his lower stomach again. “Fuck Stevie, come in me,” Billy pleaded needily.

Steve’s hand gripped tightly onto Billy’s waist as his body clenched and his orgasm wracked through him. Billy continued to ride him through his orgasm, milking it out of him. “Oh God fucking dammit. So good baby,” Steve praised, as his orgasm finished and he was left in a hazy high-like state. 

Billy reached between them and grabbed his own cock in his hand. Steve watched with wide eyes as it only took a few strokes for Billy to come again, and this time with Steve’s cock still inside of him. Billy’s come splattered between them, covering their shirts but neither one of them cared about that in the moment. Exhausted, Billy collapsed against Steve’s chest, his legs feeling jelly-like from riding Steve so hard and orgasming for a second time. Steve could feel his softening cock still inside Billy, he felt so sensitive and tender and wondered what it felt like for Billy. 

Steve wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, holding him close and concentrating on the sound of his breath and the movement of his chest up and down. It was a moment of pure bliss, the contentment that comes from perfection. There was no way he could ever let go of Billy, there was never going to be a world where he didn’t love the man in his arms with his whole heart. There was no one who understood him better. No one who comforted him better after a nightmare, made him laugh when he was feeling down, and helped ease his anxiety. Billy was his whole heart, his whole world. 

Eventually, the two of them had to separate and try to clean themselves up with only a few napkins leftover from previous fast food. Billy drove Steve home and Steve felt like he was leaving behind his heart when he had to kiss Billy goodbye and head into his own house. In the dark of the cool winter night, Steve leaned over and kissed Billy sweetly on the lips. “I love you so much Billy. I love you forever.”

“Not as much as I love you pretty boy, forever and ever,” Billy countered. 

Steve smiled, it was always a competition for Billy but Steve didn’t actually mind. Hearing these words from Billy made his heart flutter. To love and be loved in the same way was the best gift Steve had ever received. 

“We still on for the movies tomorrow?” Steve asked. 

“Yeah, I’ll call you when I wake up.” Billy replied. 

Steve nodded and planted one last kiss on his boyfriend’s lips before leaving the car and running through the cold and up to his house. Steve turned in the doorway to watch the Camaro drive away, he smiled as he heard the engine rev.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll...I know it's been awhile and I can explain. I've been super swamped with work, apartment hunting to find a place to live when I start grad school in the fall, and it's been super hot and I don't function well in the heat. Those are all my excuses but I am sorry for making you wait. 
> 
> The bad news is...next chapter is going to be the last. It will be an epilogue. Our time with these boys is almost up and I'm actually so sad about it but it seems like it's time for this story's natural conclusion. I don't know when I'll have time to write the next chapter because I work for the next 8 days straight (I'm not amused either). But I will try to get it written and edited as soon as humanly possible whenever I have a free moment and am not completely exhausted. 
> 
> Many thanks to you all for your patience and continued support.


	35. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fast forward 23 years, to 2008.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy's P.O.V.
> 
> Be safe and take care.

~ September 2008 ~

The sound of the waves crashing on the shore were like a melody to Billy’s ears. Coupled with the feel of the warm California sea breeze and the faint smell of salt in the air made all the nerves in Billy’s body relax slightly. Billy closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, letting the sight and sound of the ocean in front of him ease his mind. Billy’s fingers twitched momentarily and he kind of wanted a cigarette. He had quit smoking over ten years ago now, and though he rarely missed it, when he was anxious he wanted nothing more than the soothing feel of a cigarette between his fingers. Billy was alone and lost in the moment, lost in the importance of what this day was for him.

At least Billy thought he was alone until a hand gently landed on his shoulder causing his eyes to open to look and see who was there. Billy smiled when he saw Hopper standing beside him, already half dressed in his suit, his tie hanging untied around his neck. Hopper gave his shoulder a warm squeeze before he dropped his hand. “Having second thoughts?” Hopper asked in a lighthearted and joking demeanor. 

Billy grinned as he shook his head. “No way old man, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” Billy looked deeply into Jim Hopper’s eyes, feeling nothing but affection for the man who had saved his life twenty-three years ago. The years had been kind to the older man, and although Hopper was pushing into his late sixties, he was still just as much of a presence as he’d always been. Billy had so much in his life to thank the man before him for and he wanted to say the words but was suddenly at a loss for how to thank the man who had done so much for him. 

“I’m glad son. I can’t tell you how happy I am to get to be here with you today. I’m so immensely proud of everything you’ve accomplished Billy.” Hopper’s words came out thick as the man fought off tears. Billy was in just as bad shape, his eyes tearing up. 

“I wouldn’t be here for any of this if you hadn’t saved me that night Hop. If you hadn’t saved me a few times. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that.” Tears flowed freely from Billy’s eyes as he expressed himself. As soon as the words were out, Hopper wrapped him in a hug and Billy clutched the older man tightly. 

“You never have to thank me Billy. I know how much it means to you. I just want you to know how much you mean to me. I love you, kid. Don’t ever forget it.” Billy smiled through the tears that streamed down his face. He was forty fucking years old but Hop was still calling him kid. Some things never changed, and that was comforting to Billy. 

“Love you too, old man.”

The two men separated and were silent for a moment as they looked down at the beach and the waves crashing below them. “No more crying kid, you’re getting married today.” Hopper gently chided.

Billy nodded and smiled when he heard the word married. It felt kind of surreal. It was something he never thought would be possible. But then some states starting legalizing it and before they knew it County Clerks in California were issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Now Billy got to marry the man of his dreams in front of all his family and friends. It was too good to be true, but it was definitely real. 

Billy followed Hopper back through the sliding glass doors from the balcony to the hotel room. Billy still had to find his shirt, which hopefully wasn’t wrinkled because Steve would kill him if it was. Billy felt a little frantic as he ran around finishing getting ready. Hopper had left him just a moment ago to find Joyce. The two had gotten married back in 1990, it had been a small ceremony back in Hawkins.

Billy was happy for another moment alone but wishing someone was here to calm his nerves. Steve had insisted they get separate hotel rooms and not see each other until they walked down the aisle. Billy didn’t necessarily get what all the fuss was about since they were wearing the same damn outfit but Billy never could say no to the man he loved.  
Just as Billy was thinking this, there was a knock on the door. Billy rushed across the room and opened the door to find his sister standing there in a beautiful but simple cream colored dress. Max rushed into the room and wrapped Billy in a bear hug the moment the door was closed. 

“Holy fucking shit. I can’t believe my big brother is getting married today.” Max practically shrieked. Billy held a snarky comment about her volume on the tip of his tongue but held it back because he truly couldn’t stop smiling every time someone mentioned his wedding. 

“It kind of doesn’t feel real. I can’t believe I get to marry Steve.” Billy muttered more to himself than to his sister. Billy still remembered too strongly the feeling of seeing couples holding hands in high school and wishing so desperately that he could hold the hand of the person he loved. Marriage was not even a thought that crossed his mind back then. But so much had changed, a lot of progress had been made. Since they'd moved back to California after college, they’d been able to be open about their relationship to everyone. And to top it all off, now Billy was about to marry the man of his dreams, there was no more shame or secrecy in his life about who he was and who he loved. 

Max stood in front of Billy, smoothing out the fabric of his white linen shirt. “I feel like we’ve made it Billy. I’ve seen you go through so much pain and hardship. I’ve seen you accomplish so much and you amaze me. You’re the most amazing and compassionate person. You’re a loving partner to Steve and you’re the most incredible father to those two little girls of yours. You proved everyone wrong, Billy.”

Billy suddenly wished so badly that it was allergy season so he could blame his red teary eyes on pollen. But the words Max spoke to him hit him hard. He didn’t often stop to reflect on how far he had come. But he definitely wasn’t the hurt and broken self-hating teenage boy who lashed out at others anymore. Billy had been working as a child abuse advocate for over twelve years now, after completing his law degree. Him and Steve had adopted two little girls from the foster system, Eleanor who was now eight and April who was now six. Becoming a father had been the scariest but most exciting process of his life. Getting to see Steve become a father made Billy fall even more in love with him. In becoming a father himself, Billy was finally able to fully separate himself from his own father. He was able to leave the legacy of his father behind and give his daughters everything he should have been given but was denied during his own childhood. 

Max smiled knowingly at Billy but didn’t make a big deal about the redness in his eyes. Billy was grateful for that and above all was grateful for the relationship he’d been able to grow with Max. Billy couldn’t imagine his life without his sister, which was a complete change from when they’d first met. Max had been there by his side through so many ups and downs, and of course was the best aunt to his two girls even if she was kind of a corrupting influence with all the swearing and candy she always gave them. It meant so much to him today, that she was going to stand beside him as his maid of honor. 

“Weren’t you supposed to be watching April and Ellie?” Billy asked, suddenly remembering that he left his daughters in his sister’s charge earlier that morning.  
Max waved him off, “They’re with Will and Lucas down in the lobby. When I left them, the guys were hearing all about their new dolls so I think they’re alright.”

Billy laughed at the image of his daughters demanding the attention of the two men. Billy’s worry was acquiesced, the girls loved their Uncle Lucas, even though Max and Lucas weren’t married, they’d been together for over eighteen years now. 

“It’s less than an hour till the ceremony,” Max commented as she fixed her hair in the big mirror hanging in the entryway of the room. “Are you freaking out?”

Billy huffed out a breath. “Not anymore. I just want it to be over with, so I can see Steve already.”

Max smiled over at him. “I stopped by and saw Steve before I came here. Steve looked great. Dustin was causing a scene because he couldn’t find his left shoe, I left before he found it so who knows how that is going.”

Billy laughed loudly, imagining Dustin, who at thirty-six years old was still as neurotic as ever, running around frantic. Dustin had certainly taken time to grow on Billy but he was Steve’s best friend and now his best man so Billy had learned to be amused by the younger man. Dustin was an aerospace engineer at NASA and Billy loved hearing about his work.  
The hour leading up to the ceremony dragged by, and Billy was feeling rather impatient. He just wanted to see Steve already and of course see April and Ellie in their cute matching flower girl dresses. Finally, Hopper showed up at his door and the two began to walk down to the lobby together. They made their way out the back door and down onto the beach, where in the distance Billy could see the chairs all set up with everyone sitting and waiting for them. There were just under a hundred people invited to the wedding. All their family and friends from Hawkins had made the trip to San Diego, plus there were all Billy and Steve’s friends from work, and some of the girls’ friends and their parents. 

The whole ceremony felt like a whirlwind to Billy. His heart hammered in his chest until he finally met Steve at the altar, once his hands were in Steve’s he finally felt calm. The gentle breeze tousled Steve’s thick brown hair, and as Billy stared into the deep brown eyes of the man he loved he found his peace. Steve was the one who held him close, who built him, who made him see things in a new light. The two had been able to grow together for twenty three years now, they had built a life and a family. As the two men shared their vows to one another, Billy felt himself begin to choke up as he heard Steve’s promise to him. Finally, Billy took his chance to share his promise to Steve and although when writing his vows he had found it hard to sum up his love and dedication to Steve with words, he felt like the words weren’t the most important part anyway. 

When writing his vows to Steve he thought about how Steve supported him through college, law school, and the LSATs. He thought about how he got to see Steve flourish as a teacher and then eventually become an elementary school principal. He thought about how Steve put up with his mood swings while he was quitting smoking. He thought about how Steve went to the hair salon with him on the day that he finally decided to get rid of the mullet, how Steve kissed him and reassured him that he was just as handsome with short hair. He thought about the parenting classes, and how Steve naturally excelled at them while Billy struggled a bit more. How Steve reassured Billy that he wouldn’t be like his father, that he was a good man and would never hurt his children. Billy recalled the day their two daughters came home, the day that he became a dad and how his heart forever changed. The memories of learning to do his daughters’ hair, of teaching them to ride a bike, helping them with homework, all with Steve by his side. Billy was forty years old and he had known true, and unconditional love for twenty three of those years, thanks to Steve. There was no one else in the world for him.

Finally, the reverend from their local Unitarian Church pronounced them husbands and Billy stepped forward, closing the roughly two feet of space between them to kiss Steve. With that space between them gone, Billy kissed Steve, his husband and felt a surge of happiness course through him. This was his fate, this was his joy. As the two parted, they turned to face the crowd in front of them. To their left they saw Joyce and Hopper sitting with Steve’s mom, since Steve’s dad had just passed the year before. Next to the grandparents sat their daughters, their hair done up in braids, and in their blush pink dresses looking like princesses. On the other side of the aisle sat Lucas, and Susan. All their friends and family erupted into cheers as the two walked back down the aisle hand in hand.

The sound of cheering grew faint as Billy and Steve walked down the beach for a moment of privacy together before they headed back to the hotel for the reception. “We’re married,” Steve said quietly as he held his arms tightly around Billy’s waist. 

“You can never get rid of me now, pretty boy,” Billy teased as he stared dreamily into the eyes of his husband. 

“I wouldn’t dream of getting rid of you my love. We get to spend the rest of our lives together and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Billy reached up to brush a stray, windblown piece of hair out of Steve’s face before he leaned in for another kiss. Billy felt entirely present in that moment as he took in the smell and taste of his husband and the smell and sound of the waves behind them. 

“Are you ready to head up to the reception?” Steve asked in a soft voice.

“Yeah,” Billy nodded. “Let’s go find our girls.”

The two men made their way back up to the hotel hand in hand as the gentle California breeze tousled their hair. The sun sat on the horizon behind them as they walked.

“I love you so much Stevie,” Billy said to his husband.

Steve smiled widely,” Not as much as I love you.” Billy laughed and squeezed his husband’s hand gently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over. I'm so overwhelmed to have completed this story, which has meant so much to me over the months it's taken me to write. I probably wouldn't have started this story at all if it weren't for the global pandemic, which didn't impact my life too much as I am an essential worker. But the disarray and anxiety of the world around me drove me to desire a steady force and a project to pour some of my creative energy into. Billy and Steve mean so much to me, Billy is such a precious character to me and I hope I have done him and his love story justice. 
> 
> I started writing this story in April, and now as I complete it in July it has over 10,000 hits which is wild to me because that's roughly how many people live in my town. So lowkey I've just imagined every one in my little hick town reading this story which is a funny thought LOL. But I can't thank you all enough for all the love and encouragement I've received on this story. I probably would have continued to write the story even if my editor was the only one besides me who read it, but knowing that over 10,000 people also read and enjoyed it means so much to me. 
> 
> I do plan on writing more fanfics in the future. Worry not, I have a whole list of story ideas in the notes app on my phone. I do think my next fic will be a different fandom (probably Destiel so if you're a fellow Supernatural fan please be on the lookout for that). I do plan on taking a bit of time before I start my next fic because life is crazy busy right now but I can't wait to be back. 
> 
> Again, thanks for all the love and support. Be safe and take care out there. 
> 
> Love, FrightenedofRabbits.
> 
> Update 7/20/2020: I just created a tumblr so if you care, you can find me at frightenedofrabbits.tumblr.com. I'm not good with technology/internet things so bear with me.


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